I was Lacking Trust

I have lived the most of my life, without having a clue how to love. I am still not sure that, I have it all down pat, but I am working on it. Just being very honest about my situation, I was in my upper forties, before I began to learn how to love. I know that sounds crazy, but it is true. There is a simple reason, for this great malady, in my life, and that was the lack of God, in my life.

1John 4:16  And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. 

This is a very powerful verse to me, filled with a lot of information. I can go back to my childhood days, and I wasn’t sure, about the message of love, that I was receiving. There were quite a bit of turmoil, in my home. I am not blaming anybody in particular, because that was just the way that it was. My mother and father got divorced, at a very young time, in my life. Just to cut to the chase, both of my parents couldn’t have been happier, if the other one would have dropped dead.

The only reason that, I am telling these things is because; I know that others have gone through the same situation. Sometimes Jesus links us together that have similar situations, so that we can heal. I confess that I am all messed up, and that started from the get-go. Writing this blog has been awesome, for my healing. Most of it I simply had to admit to this madness in my life, to get the healing started. I can’t think Jesus for all the trials that I have lived through, and I want to help others to receive their healing also.

We can take all that I just said, and my misunderstanding of love, caused me to miss, the first part, of this verse. I’m telling you that, Jesus came to save sick folks like me. (Matthew 9:12) I couldn’t trust God, because I couldn’t trust my parents, and I actually couldn’t trust any adult!! When I grew into an adult, I was living in a world, where I couldn’t trust anybody. I will have to admit that I wasn’t hanging around trust worthy people, but I didn’t realize that, there were those kind, in this world. 

When I was seventeen I got a quick lesson, in the fact that I couldn’t trust church people. I drove home in tears, and filled with the fear that, the Lord was out to kill me. My mother went to her grave, without me ever telling her about the events, of that Sunday morning, because I wasn’t sure, of what her reaction would be. That situation did the most damage to my life, than any other one ever did.

The great thing about receiving Salvation, from Jesus Christ is that, it is not a cure all. We are still in the same bodies, with all the hurts, hang-up’s, and problems. Some folks will try to tell you that, they were delivered instantaneously, from all of their past sins. I am not going to call them liars, but I will say if that is the case, then they are the exception to the rule, and not the standard.

Holy Spirit is willing to help you to change, in any way that, you are willing to change. That is the reason that, I smoked for so long. I wasn’t willing for it to be taken away from me. I knew that it would cause me pain, and I didn’t want to hurt. The day that I got serious about quitting, Holy Spirit helped me. He would minister to me while I lay, in my bed crying, because I wanted the Lord in my life, more than another smoke. Now I realize that, there are certain things, where the present pain is well worth, the end results. 

Most of my life has been tragic to one degree, or another. The best thing that, I ever did do was get serious, about my relationship, with Father, Son, and Spirit. I had to learn to trust first, and then I had a big mess that needed to be cleaned up. Actually, I am still working on it, and it looks like it will probably take me, until I check out of here. It really don’t matter, because I am in good company. 

Ephesians 1:13  In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise,

If I am reading, and understanding this verse correctly, I wasn’t too far off the right track. I must admit that it took me longer than most people to get this right. There is not a hidden agenda here, concerning the ways, of the Lord. Jesus wants to save everybody, but He will not violate our free will. We must come to Him accepting, His sinless blood sacrifice, for the atonement of our sin. That is the first part. The second is to walk with Him, and learn of His way, because the Father has a plan for our lives.

Romans 8:29  For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. 

I can guarantee you that, living the Christian life, will be the most exciting adventure that, you will ever experience. If an old knuckle head, like me can do it, anybody else can do it also!! If you’re not satisfied with Jesus, then Satan will gladly take you back!!   Ain’t God Awesome?

          ….Much Love