it was so good to write to y'all again!! i had been missing sharing my thoughts, and feeling with the world. i know that it's out there for anybody to read. i'm just not sure if anyone is reading it.
yesterday, i went back over some of the things that i had written for the last couple months prior to losing my home. it was heart-breaking to see that i had known what was fixing to happen, but unable to change any of it. actually, i wasn't completely sure what i would be facing, but i knew that i had been here before.
ten or twelve years since i was last homeless does make a difference. then again, it might just be the fact that i've changed.
i still see all the madness going on. that part has not changed. the dope sellers, and the dope buyers. the thieves, and their helpers. the drunks trying to make the cops think that they are drinking anything but alcohol.
mostly is just people trying to be slick, and pull a fast one on anybody that they can. the sad thing is that it reminds me of younger days when i had became the slick one.
to become the slick one didn't come over night. it took a lot of training, and practice. fortunate for me i had a good teacher with a sense of humor, and plenty of patience. i've written about these adventures in my other blogs, so i wont bore anybody to death right now.
today i sit and watch them play their games. they look like ants, darting here, and there. running from place to place to put a buck in their pocket. it's seems like a whole lot of work that they do to receive so little if anything. i can remember running from daylight to dark, but i don't remember getting tired. now, just watching these boys makes me tired!!
this is definitely a new chapter in my life. one that i didn't think that i would have to write, and one i would have rather avoided if possible. seeing how i'm up to the neck in it, i might as well write about it.
the first thing that i need to write about is the power of my mind. my mind is absolutely wonderful. i can let it take me out of any bad situation that i might find myself into, for a while. it's kinda like taking a break until i've figured out how to handle it.
actually,...... right now,..........i'm in a fantasy mode. there are so many things coming at me so fast that i don't what to do. i basically just sit in the plaza all day watching others. being a con from the old school.........not much gets past me. i can pretty much see it all in a day's time, and i always thank God that i'm not that man anymore. i liked the man that i had become, and i still do really like myself today. i learned a valuable lesson already in all this madness. " a man's circumstances might change, but who he really is doesn't have to change."
i've written about my last adventure out here, and what it caused me to be come. i hated every fiber of my being, and couldn't stand to look in mirror. i was a despicable excuse for a human being, or was this just the master illusion of confusion?
to be continued.....................
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