Car accident trick
A woman and man get
into a car accident. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly
neither one of them is hurt.
After they crawl out of
the wreckage, the woman says, "Wow, look at our cars -- there's nothing
left! This must be a sign from Him that we should be friends and not try to pin
the blame on each other."
The man replies,
"Oh yes, I agree with you completely."
The woman points to a
bottle on the ground and says, "Somehow this bottle of Scotch from my back
seat didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this Scotch and celebrate our
good fortune."
She hands the bottle to
the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, and chugs about a third
of the bottle to calm his nerves. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts
the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks,
"Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies,
"No. I think I'll just wait for the police."
Odd Newspaper Headlines From Around the World
- Include your children when baking cookies
- Something went wrong in jet crash
- Experts says police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
- Safety experts say that school bus passengers should be belted
- Drunk gets nine months in violin case
- Survivor of Siamese twins joins parents
- Miners refuse to work after death
- Juvenile Court to try shooting defendant
- Two Soviet ships collide, one dies
- Red tape holds up new bridge
- Astronaut takes blame for gas in spacecraft
- Kids make nutritious snacks
- Man minus ear waives hearing
Life Sentence
A criminal with a long
record of transgressions was on trial for his latest crime. The jury found him
guilty on 33 counts and the judge sentenced him to 189 years. Realizing that
even with time off for good behavior he would be over one hundred when he was
released, the prisoner burst into tears.
Noting this display of
remorse, the judge reconsidered. He said, "I didn't mean to be so severe.
Thinking it over, I can see that I've imposed an extremely harsh sentence. So
you don't have to serve the whole time." The prisoner beamed with new
found hope until the judge leaned toward him and said, "Just do a much as
you can."
They’re Not All Mine!
A woman drove a mini-van
filled with a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking for a
space. Obviously frazzled, she coasted through a stop sign.
"Hey, lady, have you
forgotten how to stop?" yelled an irate man.
She rolled down her
window and said, "What makes you think these are all mine?"
…….much Love
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