I am very grateful.................

I am very grateful.................that this years is over!!  please don't take me wrong, because i am more grateful that i survived this year!! this has been one of the worse years in my life. i lost more things that i really cared about this year than ever before.  maybe,.........i simply cared about more this year than ever before?
i would like to start with the fact that i lost my job. i needed that little job just to keep everything else tied together.           honestly,..........and i feel that i need to be honest about my job. i really didn't mind losing that one, because my boss didn't realize my true potential. he worked me three years without a raise, and i didn't have one benefit. i hired on as a dishwasher. which was fine with me at the time, but he really didn't give me a shot at doing anything else. oh,.......he did give me a shot at the deep fryer a couple times, but i was already an accomplished fryer, and couldn't have cared less. i was looking for a challenge, and he never did deliver.
i lost a part of my health that's very important to anything that i do in this life. my back went out, and i was diagnosed with degenerative bone disease of my spine. i also had a bulging disc with arthritis covering my spine. OK,.........that is something that i can't control, and I'm currently learning to live with it the best that i can. the end prognosis is bleak. it will never get any better, but will continue to get worse. actually,...i can tell that it has gotten worse, but what can a person do?
I've also lost extremely dear friendships to me. i am completely fuzzled by this, because i don't understand why. I've not changed one bit. even though my circumstances surely have changed. the ones that I'm talking about still talk with me, but it's not the same as it once was before. it used to be more intimate conversation, and i knew that they cared about me deeply, but now it's nothing like it was before. it's kinda like they are just tolerating me now, and really don't want to have anything to do with me. i don't understand this, and really would like to know why. i have asked several times, but all i get is a greater blow off.
of all the things that have vanished from my life this year. this one hurts me the most. i haven't changed my attitude toward them even yet. i don't understand how that could change toward me? i really want them to be a part of my life, but maybe that needs to change this coming up year. I've been holding on waiting on a difference, but maybe i should just move on.
with all the things that I've mentioned before going on.........i also lost my home for the past six years. i really miss what i had before, but i realize that it's gone. i have a new home now, and I've shifted to a new station in life, but not before i spent some time on the streets.
i actually spent some time on the streets. a little less than three months worth. i was blessed, because i came off them. there is a lot of people trapped in that situation that never get any relief. i knew this, because i had been there before, and i knew how to get free from this hell.
it takes a lot of prayer, .........trust,.........and a great attitude!!  i had all these things in my corner. i really didn't have an option, because i have seen what happens to the people living on the streets, and i didn't want no part of it. i knew that i was there, plus i realized that i had the power within me not to stay in that situation.
i did what i needed to do to get out of that situation. i realized that i didn't have money in my favor, and i also knew that my health wasn't what it once was either. it took everything that i could muster up to get out of that situation, but i did it. i didn't know how it would work out,........but i knew that it would work.
i contacted my friend Bubba, and told him what was going on in my life at the time. i wasn't looking for a solution from him. i just wanted him to know what was going on with me.
apparently, he was the answer to my prayers, because God had a use for me with him also. I've been here since the month of October, and things have been getting better everyday. Bubba has been a pure blessing to me. he has given me a place to call home without any aggravation.
I'm not sure what to say here, but i think that i need to throw all the credit back on God. He knew what both of us needed in our lives at this point and time, and it was apparently each other!!  i can never express the gratitude that i have for my friend Jeff Blanchard, A.K.A. Bubba, but i think that he really knows. he has been my friend for several years, only setting in the background of my life.

what's going to happen in this new year?             i have no idea!!         i really don't care either.  i just know that if i keep my faith in God, and keep people around me that care about me like Bubba, and other friends that love me, it should be a breeze.
life is a team sport, or event. we can't possibly make it alone. i have tried, and i have failed miserably. we need other human beings to help us make it through. actually,..........we need a bunch of people just to complete us. we are no good by ourselves!!
if there is nothing more than y'all can learn from my life..........please learn this............you can't make it alone. no,.......that's not true,........you can make it by yourself,..............but you will never be happy, and your life will not be full. happiness is the best that you can ever achieve on this earth,........and the only way that you can have true happiness is to share it with somebody else...................... the good, bad, and ugly!!

                                ..................much love