Nathan lightly slapped me over my heart while shouting, “Fire!”

Might as well get started telling this part of the story. I still have not figured out completely what really happened. It wasn't what I expected to happen by a long shot. Still, I am not disappointed in anything more than myself, and I simply need to forgive myself, as soon as I can get to that point.

I was down in front of the alter on the right side. I couldn't wait to get my chance, and now the time had come closer by the second. I stood there, and watched as people were falling out at an alarming rate. Once again my emotions were out of control. Tears just streamed down my face, because I knew in my heart that I was going to receive a touch from my Almighty Creator. It was a very humbling experience.

I noticed that most people acted differently after receiving the touch. They laid in different ways, and made different gestures. Some where like they had fallen dead, and some kept their arms in the air. Some of them mumbled softly, and some where speaking in tongues. I don't think that any two went out the same way, and some folks didn't even go down.

Those were the ones that caused me to doubt. I kept getting flashbacks from the last time that I let somebody lay hands on me. It didn't go well at all. I didn't feel nothing at all. I went back to my seat swearing that would never happen again. I don't know why that came into my remembrance at that moment. My mind was racing seriously. If I had only remembered that before now , there would have been no way that I would have been in that line.

I thought that I had settled that issue of fear by the time that Nathan got to me. I was keeping my eyes closed, but I could not tell you why. He laid his hand over my heart. It was like he was grasping his fingers to the shape of my heart. Then he leaned over beside of me,and ask the next person a question. “ What are you expecting from God?” I didn't hear what he said, but Nathan told him that he could do that for himself.

Immediately, I took my eyes off of God, and put them on the man. I was telling myself that this was not going to work, and if I had an escape route I would have been out of there pronto!! Looking back I felt like Peter walking on the water. He had took his eyes off Jesus, and he began to sink. I had forgot about the conversation that I had with Father the night before. I had already forgot what that He said to me less that twenty minutes before this was happening. My heart was breaking now, because I knew that I was going to be made a fool of again!!

Suddenly, Nathan lightly slapped me over my heart while shouting, “Fire!” Everything went into slow motion at that time. He repeated that same action again. I staggered back a little bit. He did the same thing once more while shouting “Fire!” I went back a little more, but I could not figure out what was moving me. I know that he was not even putting enough pressure on me to move my 280 lb mass.

My mind was racing so hard. I simply knew that It wasn't going to work on me. I decided that if he did that one more time that I was going to fall back to save embarrassment for him and myself. Believe it or not he must have been a glutton for punishment, because he done it the forth time. True to my word, I went back, and down.

I laid down there for a second to let him get a little further down the line. I really didn't want to draw any attention to myself, and I didn't want him to feel bad about it not working on me. I opened my eyes, and he was a little further down the line than I really expected him to be. I just wanted to give him enough time to get a couple people down from me. He must have been 6-8 deep by now.

I felt really strange. Kinda drowsy. It was like I took a hand full of Valium. I thought that I would just sit there for a minute. Then it donned on me. I was sitting on a pew!! I purposely placed myself between the pews so I wouldn't fall back into one. Besides that, they had all of us step two or three feet forward before he got to me.

I quickly understood that I might have took my eyes off Father, but He had still honored our agreement. Once again I broke down in tears, because His goodness toward me was breaking my heart!! I simply sit there crying for a while. It was like Father, and myself were the only folks in the room. I didn't have anything to do with me going down. The push back that I was feeling was coming from the power of God putting something in my body.

What was it though?              What really happened?               I know that God touched me, and I know that He put something inside of me that I will need to get through the next level. Maybe it's not get me through, but get me into the next level of our relationship. Why did I feel this incredible peace like I never before experienced? Honestly, I felt like I had taken far too many Valiums without any fear of dying.

I went back to my seat, and pondered what had just happened. I set there without a care in the world. There was this one girl that had got my attention. She was strutting like a chicken. Making quick, jerky movements, while alternating between laughing, and crying, and praising the Lord. I knew that she had to be in the same perfect peace that I was experiencing, because her focus was simply on Jesus. Poor thing would wander from place to place, and sit down for a few seconds, and then off again to another place to sit. When I left she was still doing this gesture.

I finally made it out the door, and caught the bus. You would have thought that the Shekinah Glory of the Lord might have been on me the way that folks were staring, and smiling at me!! This went on for the rest of the day, and that feeling of peace,..............I took that to bed with me!!

…........Much Love