It creeps into my feeling process

I'm thinking you have to be a bit older to remember this. I don't have a clue if the show the old cartoons that I grew up watching today. I am sure that this little scene has been in more that one cartoon, and it has probably been in the movies also. Do you remember the episode when Tom had a devil sitting on one shoulder, and the devil on the other one? Both of them were trying to convince Tom how to live his life.            Do you ever feel like that is going on in your life?

I sure do, and a little more often that I would really like to admit.     Now, I do believe that Satan is trying to kills us, because he hates us.      Jealous …...Just to be honest about it!!       Anyway I believe that he is busy causing chaos on up the ladder to mess with me personally.     But he does have demons to mess with the likes of myself, and others that really don't rank that high in his calculations.

I am not sure how they slip that demon in my life, but I know that he is good at what he does!!             That scoundrel will have me thinking negatively and wanting to rebel against everything that I know is right.

It will change my thinking process in a wild, …....And new radical way.         I have been a good Christian for quite a few day's now.         I need to take a break for a while.        God will just have to understand if I take these matters into my own hands.         Yeah,......That's right,.......I have been doing awesomely with my not cussing for a while.          I do have some left inside of me that needs to come out.          That's probably the reason that it's still in there.            For just this situation.                 Thank you Jesus that I still have at least one in me!!

Now I am talking about my thinking first, and then it creeps into my feeling process.     It makes me feel uneasy,......... and changes my entire demeanor.       It will have me looking confused about what weapon that I need to break out of my arsenal.        Which one will be my equalizer to eradicate this situation, ….....and bring the odds back in my favor.      It effects my walk.       It effect my talk.     It effects what I hear when others talk to me.          I am growing more miserable by the second!!

Then it finally get to my acting process.      This is where I have the opportunity to show how ignorant, and foolish that I really am!!            I have built myself up to tell this person what a idiot that I really think that they are, and I am not going to spare any of my favorite cuss words!!     They are going to flow like a fine wine out of a chilled bottle into a crystal glass.        After all,................Don't I deserve this?

That really hits the spot to me.        Can you see the evil in what I has just said?       Can anyone agree in some shape, form, or fashion with this?         Maybe it's my own brand of personal hell that I am going through at various times in my journey.

That angel sitting on one of my shoulders has been talking this whole time also.     By the time that I get to the action scene that angel has been knocked off, and the trouble begins.        For me this is the point of no return.         While the first derogatory words are being spit of my mouth that demon changes his tune.            He immediately stars singing a song of perfect guilt in my ear.

Everything has changed now.      I am really stuck between a rock, and a hard place!!       If I retract what I am saying.........I will look weak.             If I continue on this path I will know that I am weak. I am starting to feel sicker, and sicker by the second.                   What do I do?

This is what some of my days are like.       Sometimes, I do want to do the wrong things.   The sad reality is that they seldom turn out in the form that they started.          We know that the Grace of Jesus Christ can cover all this madness that we can get into, but don't it make you feel good to not have to rely on Grace so much?          I believe that it is a sign of growth when we do the right thing, despite the war raging in our Spirits at the time.         I like it when I look above, and thank my Creator that He gave me the strength to make the right choice.

Just a little to think about.         I hope that I didn't write this too crazy to understand.         It is what I go through often.          I thought that maybe someone else might be fighting in the same war.

….........Much Love