Dang Confusion

Y'all know how I am by now.       If somethings wrong I talk about it. If something right …..I talk about it.        I would prefer to talk about the positive stuff much more than the negative.     Seeing how I choose to use the world as my sounding board it has to be that way.      Tonight is going to be one of those negative talks that I plan to give.               Sorry.

I am in a confusing place right now.             These folks are great at sending mixed messages.              Maybe.........Just maybe it is all me.      The way that I perceive the messages than they are sending all wrong.      It could be that my perception is whacked out.        That is not a foreign thought to me either.

I guess I need to start at the beginning of this journey.     This is not your ordinary program.     I call it a come to Jesus program.        There are few people that make it all the way to completion.      I was ready before I got here.       It would be fair to say that I was on a mission, and I had to complete if I was going to find any peace in my life.       He further that I got, the more desire I had to be here.      I got everything that i needed to live a successful life.        I need to retract that a little bit.       I got all the tools that I will ever need.

Something happens when you get to the transition phase of this.     They really don't have an exit plan.        If you are healthy, and get out, and find a job, then you will be alright.      My case is a little different.        It would take a true blue miracle for me to get a job that I could actually do.       My back is in such bad shape, and my walking is getting worse everyday.     I have found that if I use a cane it is a lot easier.

Now, I am not happy that my life has come down to this, but I am grateful that all is well as it is.     I could be a lot worse off than I am.      Still I believe that I serve a God that is much bigger that my little life problems!!           I am confident that He is working on this even as I sit here writing.      I am not worried, because I know Who is really in control!!          I really don't need for these folks to do anything special in my case.       However, they might want to consider stepping their game up a little.

They have a total awesome program teaching Jesus Christ, and every thing that comes with Him. They do an excellent job of managing a persons time while going through the program.     That way a person don't get bored easily, and it helps the mission with the day to day business.     As students we do a lot to maintain the mission.        It would be all but possible to run it without the students help.   I personally never had a problem with the work.        We even have this phase called Servant Leadership where we work 40 hours a week, for ten weeks.        They say that it is to get us in the habit of working a real job.        I never had a problem with that either.

Y'all know that i had a problem being handed a letter to move down to the mission.      The problem that riled me up was the fact that they wrote me a letter instead of talking with me.       Now that I am here there seems to be a communication problem.       No one talks to me any more.     They act like we are totally void of understand English, and not capable of holding a conversation.      Instead of talking with us they just come in the dorm, and set things up the way that they want it to be.       They don't even give us an option.         That is just the way that it is.         Pet owners talk more with their animals than we get.

You know the word that I am not using is respect.       That is where my problem lies.       They don't even respect us enough to talk with us.       Where is the love?         What happened to the Jesus that you have been teaching us?         What would Jesus do in this situation?          Geeze Louise!!

I guess that I am bothered in two areas.       No respect, and they don't practice what they teach so well.        I have found what they teach to be a necessary component in my daily life.        It makes me wonder what that one of us is missing here?          I find that lifestyle to be vital, and some of them just kick it around when necessary.

I guess it boils down to what Jesus called us to do.        He said that he would make us fishers of men.       It is only out job to catch them,.............And Jesus is responsible to clean them!!      The Good Lord knows that I still have a lot of cleaning to go!!       And once again what Satan meant to be bad,.........God turned it around for the good!!

….............Much Love