your turn

I'm a thinker, back home the older folks called it a ponderer, and my school teachers simply called it being a daydreamer. what ever that you choose to call it is fine with me, because I'm guilty as charged!!
maybe this is the result of pretty much growing up along. i had to entertain myself most of the time, and i quickly figured out that my mind was the largest playground in the world.
i'm still the same way today, but i've lost some of the more vivid thoughts that i had as a child. probably due to the harsh, cold reality of having to grow up. i believe that i skipped most of my growing up until i was 40. there is a lot of things that i missed out on due to this delayed process in my life, but i got to retain some of the child like qualities that i truly longed to hold on.
i've noticed that some people want to be an adult so bad that they just grasp the concept, and run with it. they keep jobs for their entire life, buy homes, and settle down with the person of their dreams forever. they have children, and by this time in their life they are starting to have grandchildren.
then there is the ones that tried, and failed miserably, and probably will be miserable until the day that they die, and broke. they also held down a job, bought a house, settled down with the person of their dreams, and started having children. well time passed, and he is divorced now, but he is still paying for that home that his wife lives in with her new husband, and he is living with his mom in the back room. he works 60-80 hours a week to pay all that child support for kids that really don't care much about him, and two of them want to go to college at his expense.
now,.........the cold reality is that these two fellers have basically achieved the same purpose in their lives. they have both devoted their whole lives to making somebody else happy. the only difference is the way that these men feel about themselves at the end of the day. the one is happy about all his accomplishments, as he slides between the covers to make love to his wife after 30+ years. the other one doesn't really have nothing, as he lays down on his little bed in the back room of his mothers house, dreading another day of work in a few short hours.
I've thought about this scenario for a long time, and i still can't figure out what made the difference. was it the woman?     was it the man?        was it just fate, or destiny?    was it the difference in jobs?         it had to be something that causes the outcome to be different. i simply can't figure this one out!! i know that there are a lot of under-lying factors to every life that we simply can't see, and it has to be a combination of some of those.
after seeing these two differences if i could go back i wouldn't change a thing about my life. even though, i would love to have a caring wife, and some kids, and now grand kids. i don't really think it would be worth the risk that i would be taking. i would probably wind up like the second guy, and be totally miserable for the rest of my life.
i would have probably spent a lot of time in jail, because Lil' James went to school and told his teacher that his daddy slap tore his ass up with a belt instead of giving him a time out!! i believe that i would have been a good father, but i can't see where a time out has more effect than an old fashioned whipping. if i have children i would want to instill good values in them, and teach them something that i grew up with called manners. i am not talking about abusing a child in any way. i would never do that. i just want a child capable of learning how to treat others in this thing that we call life.

"i welcome all y'all folks that have a different opinion than me, or the same to comment on this blog, or your welcome to send me a nasty letter at my e-mail located on the top of this blog. i don't edit the comments, because i feel if you have something to say, then you should be able to say it. i need to warn you though: just because you send me a nasty letter don't stop me from placing it on the comment section, so choose your words wisely, and remember one of your children might be reading this blog themselves."



as a matter of a fact:    let's do something different this up coming week. if y'all have anything to say about my blog.........the good, the bad, and the ugly,.........write me. i will answer all questions honestly, and i will post all comments without exposing who you are. i just want to know what y'all are thinking about this.        is it helping anybody in any kind of way?           is it making anybody think about things?            is it a waste of my time to even do this?           do y'all find some of these post humorous?                  are you highly disgusted with the whole deal?            is there anything that i can do to improve this blog?
i want to include everyone of you that is bold enough to write me. i would like to be more interactive with my readers. the counter on the profile page is not accurate. I've had hundreds of hits from many different countries around the world.           i know your out there, and i know that you are reading.     all I'm asking is for you to help me make this more enjoyable for you to read.

                                                         ...................much love