Best read slowly

I don't think I would really care to be you.        Not that there is anything wrong with you.      Depending on how old you are you have probably got a good start on handling that situation already. If you are like the most of us you don't really think that you are doing all that good of a job of it, At least in some areas of your life.     I know that the biggest part of the human race has some regrets to how that we have handled certain situations.

I have noticed that in the last few years that I have stopped playing the blame game in some of my largest failures.     I have stopped blaming others no matter how much of that situation that they did really own.         It wasn't their fault that I made a bad choice.       The final decision in the matter rests entirely on my shoulders.

Do you want to hear something really cool?          I don't even blame myself for the bad choices that I have made              Well?         Who's fault was it that you made the bad choices?        Oh,......That's an easy one to answer.       It was my fault.           I made the decision to go through with the action that caused the situation to turn sour.        Well,....Er,....If it was your fault, And you know that it was, Then how come you don't blame yourself?         I love myself today!!         A person never blames the one that they truly love for anything that has happened.

I don't know about y'all, but I got tired of blaming myself, and picking on myself.       Yeah,......I was picking on myself.          You should have heard some of the language that I was talking to myself with!!         Nobody that I know would have allowed me to talk to them the kind of way that I talked to myself.             I here to tell you that for years in my life I treated myself very badly       I have called myself all kind of names, and had the gall to wonder why things were not any better in my life.

I am not sure where this form of self-abuse really came from, and I have put some thought into it.    I don't think that I really picked it up as a child in my home.      Although, I have blocked out most of my childhood memories for some reason.       Even though if I did pick it up there, that would only give me an excuse to blame somebody else for the trouble.      It far too late to be looking for somebody to blame.            It wouldn't do anything but slow down the healing process that has to take place.              Truthfully, I am too old to be blaming anybody for something, that I am in charge of making it right.

Actually, I have waited a little bit late in life to figure some things out that should have been figured out years earlier.        Mostly of how to recover quickly from pain in my life, and how to not hurt others in the process.         It is true that hurt people are the ones that hurt others most of the time. I believe that if everyone would simply be honest with themselves that we have pretty much all suffered some devastating pain in our lives.       In some way, shape, form, or fashion we have all took a bitter taste that we didn't deserve.        Maybe it is all a part of the cruel learning process that we go through.          Isn't it strange that the lessons in our lifetime that we learned the most from caused us the greater amounts of pain?

To live a life as a human being on this planet the process of pain is inevitable.       When we work our bodies in hopes of getting better in shape we realize without the existence of pain that we are simply wasting our time.         Maybe our avoidance of pain in our relationships with each other is futile also.        Maybe there supposed to be a certain amount of pain involved with our relationships. I am not even talking about any type, or form of pain from abuse.     Any type of abuse is unacceptable behavior in our society today, and very well should be.

I bet by now you are thinking this guy is psycho, and here I am thinking that we all are psycho to a certain degree.       I just don't know how the level of being psycho is determined, and deemed acceptable?         Have you ever considered what makes us not crazy?       Is there a fine line that separates us from being normal, and the different degrees of the levels of madness that they say that we are?

I determine people to be crazy all the time.    I guess that's just a bonus of living in the city. However, I rarely get a chance to classify them into different categories.      I know that this is classified as a science, but wouldn't it also fall under the judgment as judging?       Do you think when the day comes that we all stand in front of out Creator to give an account of our lives that some big time Dr. is going to try to give God a quick analysis of what category that He falls under?        Do you really reckon that will be what is on the front of his mind at that time?

Would anybody that reads this be bold enough to place some of your wildest thoughts on the internet for the world to ponder over?      Because that is what I am doing!!       I can tell you first hand, and straight up that doing this is highly liberating for me.       I bear my soul with the entire world, and don't give a flip!!         Some day's I seem a bit more on the normal side of the spectrum, than I do on others.           The good thing is I am just being myself bearing the simple alone with the more complicated parts of me.

….........Much Love