This is probably the last day
that I will write for a few days. My tomorrow will be filled with last minute
details, and probably a few tears. At a time like this it is hard not to shed
tears, especially when a person’s humanity is threatened. I am really not
threatened by the operation, or the outcome.
Then again,…..Lets me explain what I have learned in the process of having
cancer.
Early Thursday morning they
will cut out a portion of my colon where the cancer has taken over. The deal is
that I trust my surgical team, and that is because, I trusted my God to put
them in place. I tuned off all those that were giving me great advice, and
totally placed the outcome in the hand of Jesus. I still believe Him to be the
great physician. (Matthew 9:12)
There are one of two ways
this operation will go on earth, according to those that are still practicing,
while calling themselves professionals. The part of the colon that was affected
by the cancer will be sent the pathology, and studied for four to six weeks. During
this time if the is no cancer cell discovered in any of my lymph nodes, and
then we will proceed to stage two.
I will go through an undetermined
amount of time of chemotherapy, to make sure that any cancer cells that might
remain will be killed. What has been explained to me that during this time of
chemotherapy there will be days that I am so sick, that I can’t get out of bed?
These are the days that I will be praying for death to take my body, so Jesus can
take my soul.
Let’s go back to the fact
that, a cell might be found inside, of a lymph node. Wouldn’t that be a good
thing? Don’t lymph nodes attract the
white blood cells that kill all the foreign parts, in the body? Yes that is correct. Unfortunately cancer
cells are produced, inside of our bodies, and the white blood cell can’t detect
any harm in them.
Ok……What is the solution for
this cause? In the words of my
Oncologist I will be given even drug to keep me comfortable until I die.
This causes me great
Spiritual pain, because I want the will of the most righteous God to be done,
in my life. Does this include dying
like a vegetable with a drug conscious? I really don’t know that includes, nor what
that it might contain. I don’t know what the hours, before death contain
either.
When it comes right down to
it, the only thing that I know for sure is the fact that, I am safe inside of
Jesus. I am really having this battle, of having the best thing happen to me. I
know that my home is in Heaven, and I realize, that the day that I go there,
Heaven will be there waiting for me. I am in no hurry, because for the first
time in my life I am enjoying serving, the Lord Jesus Christ.
Maybe I have got this all
wrong, but I am having the greatest time in relationship, and fellowship with
my Lord. If I am still here on this earth I have to opportunity to lead
somebody else, into this same great relationship, which I have found.
I will write again as soon as
I get better. I love you, and God loves you, and I love the Lord. Nothing worthwhile
will ever come apart from God. Ain’t
God Great?
……Much Love
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