Let the Complaints Rip!!

I really don’t understand, how the perfect folks can read this blog. I am assuming, that all of the readers never go through the stuff that I do.  Maybe you just read it to laugh, at all the struggles that I go through. I certainly never read of any of those that write, which are superior to me, revealing the things that I do!! It surely seems that they have passed from death to life, and now are instructing other how to follow. 

I know without any doubt, when Jesus told me to do this, the things which He said to me. The Lord told me to write about Him. Write about Him in my life, and make it personal to me. I must say that I ever-so-politely turned His offer down, on the qualifying basis, that I didn’t qualify to begin with. I really thought that I had a case, that would satisfy in any court, in the United States. The truth is that might have been very true, although, it didn’t amount to beans in the view of Jesus!!

I truly love Jesus!!  He is the Lord of my life, and I could not amount to squat, without His presence in my life. Everything about my life is so non-conventional. I live in an area of the city, and exactly in a place, that would qualify for an insane asylum. The only thing that is missing is the locked doors, and the good folks wearing the white coats. All the normal residents are here, and the truth is that I simply blend with the crowd.

I am an un-wealthy person, but all my needs are truly met by God. There is nothing that I lack in my life. There are truly things in my life, that I simply do not have.  However, there is nothing that I really need, which has not been provided for me. I ride an old bicycle that I could not even start to guess how many, that owned it before I got a hold of it. The truth is that riding that old bike, keeps my heart pumping correctly. It really is an answer to a prayer!!

This might sound strange to you, but I was lying in my bed last night, talking to my Lord. I was thinking Him for all the clothes, that I have hanging in the corner of my room. I don’t have any money invested, in one piece of these clothes. I got to thinking about my shoes. I have shoes in a box sealed up, and some still have the price tag hanging on them. I was thinking that I probably will not need to buy shoes, for at least the next three years. It isn’t like I paid for even one pair of those either!!

You might be saying that I should not be bragging and you’re right. There is just one problem with that though. I am not bragging, as much as I am giving glory, to the provider of these things. There was something strange, and highly unusual, that happened a few years ago. I gave up!!   I gave up on everything that I had known in my life. Actually, I tried to end my life, and had all the right ingredients, to be successful. 

What went wrong?    If I had all the right ingredients,….Then why wasn’t I a success?   It is true that I probably had taken more than enough drugs, to end my life that night.  There is one thing, which I did not factor in to the equation. That factor was the thought, that I had more power than God!!    You can tell, by the fact, that I am writing this, that I didn’t have quite that much power.      Ain’t God Good?

You might be thinking,…..Why does he keep telling this story?   There is a simple answer to that, because it is very important!!   We cannot afford to ever underestimate, the power of our Father!!!  There is good news that came from my mistaking His awesome power!! It actually will tie all this in together, so that it makes some sense.

The truth is after I got finished with all my cussing, and fussing about the fact that I didn’t die,….I did something that I feel was necessary.           I wish that I knew how to say this, as important as it has become.      I did something that I did not even realize, that I was doing.       I screamed out at Jesus!!      I rudely came before the throne, and started to scream!!          “I STILL GIVE UP!!     I CANNOT DO WHAT YOU REQUIRE OF ME!!”

The truth is that I couldn’t have been more accurate, in what I just said. The truth in my life, usually doesn’t come without, some kind of problem attached to it. Do you care to know what the problem was?    The problem was the fact that I had just hit rock bottom!!    I didn’t have a leg left to stand on, and I was at the end of the world, which I desperately hoped to jump off the edge!!     I simply chose death, and Jesus said,……NO!!

I realize pretty quickly, that I was not running this show. I told the Lord if anything good would come out of my life, He would have to produce the good. I cannot do it, and I don’t even care to try.    I give up, from anything that includes me, even being responsible, for the results. 

That is where that I am at today. Actually, that is where I have been at for the last two, and half years, of my life. I refuse to even try to take back over control of my life. If you can’t tell, when I started writing I was heading to an area, which I didn’t belong in. An area that we all visit, from time to time, but no real Christian fit well into this place. I am talking about the spirit of the poor ME’s!! I started to let the complaints rip!!

King David left us a good example, of what we should do when we get discouraged. Not that I am in the shape that he was in when he wrote this jewel. However, it will work on the little ones also.     Are there really any little ones?

1Samuel 30:6  And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.

I need an attitude adjustment, and nothing works as well as encouraging myself in the Lord!! Thank you readers for allowing me to vent, and get right back on track.      Ain’t God good?

       ….Much Love