Hey Y’all!! I know that it has been a few days, since
I last posted anything. I have been going through something’s, which I don’t
understand. It is almost like burnout. In my most Spiritual, almost
Pharisaical, frame of mind. I am trying to find what this problem is, and the
solution to repair this problem. The
truth is that I am scared of facing the truth!!
How can a
person…..No, No, No!! This is
personal!! How is it possible for ME,
to burnout, on the best thing, that has ever happened to me? I am serious about this, and I am worried.
The reason that I am worried is simple. Every time something that goes wrong in
my relationship with Jesus, I am the one who did something.
Then again, I might be making myself of a
martyr. Did Job do anything
wrong? Once again, I might be being
more than a little presumptuous. Can you tell that I am racking my brain for a
solution, to this utter madness? This
just might be the most nonsensical post, that I have ever made, when all is
said and done.
Let’s see if we can
come to a solution. I know from other good folk’s experience. If I am suffering
burnout, relating to God, then I am trying to do it on my own. The experience
of all the fallen Preachers, Sunday school teacher, Deacons, and lay-men alike,
tells us this fact. When you suffer burnout while working with/for God, you
have become a rogue operative!!
Maybe it is sin in
my life that has me in this predicament. I still haven’t found a local church
to attend, and be a part of on a regular basis. I have attended a bunch, and
some were better than others, and two I thought were really good. I find myself
in confusion, about the church I was a part of, and still a member.
I am a member of a Pentecostal
church. I have got really revved up in worship. I believe that the Spirit of
God has sat upon me once. You cannot convince me that it didn’t happen, because
I believe that it did!! The problem was that I never was able to speak in the
language of tongues. I sat through several services, where I was told that if I
wanted to speak, in that manner, then God would bless me with the language.
I decided that the
Good Lord had no use, for me to do that, after six to eight months of asking.
Now please don’t take me wrong on this. I truly and really wanted to pray in
tongues. I thought that it was a form of power, which I was missing out on. Now,
the bad thing is I am confused whether or not this was real. Worse than that if
it was real. Then why wasn’t it
for me?
I am a man that has
had several different complexes, in my life. I have been actually over-taken at
times in my life, with this complex, or that complex. Mostly about the fact
that I didn’t fit in the “norm.” I want lie to you while I am talking about
this. I really think that I share with the readers, just how sick that I can
be.
I actually thought
at time that Jesus was like the rest of them. I knew that I couldn’t fool Him,
and He knew that I wasn’t even worthy to speak, in His secret language!! I didn’t stay in this frame of thought long.
However, I just need to say that I thought this way. Satan loves to take a
person when they’re down, and fill their mind with sheer foolishness!!
I know that I have
got off the track, which I started. I do think this is where I should be
though. There might be somebody out there, and reading this, who might have
been close to the sickness that I have, from time to time.
I want to share
some scripture about Jesus, which lets me know that He was not Oster sizing me
in any way. Proverbs
18:24 A man that hath friends must shew
himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a
brother. I personally know
of two brothers, that live here in Jacksonville. I see them out, and about
often. The strange thing is that I never see either one alone, without the
other brother. This really lets me know just how close that Jesus is to me
.
If there is any
doubt about Who God is. Just read the writings of the apostle John. He walked
with Jesus, and knows Him intimately. 1John 4:16 And we have known and believed the love that God hath to
us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.
I reckon this is
going to get real good, and I can’t see any reason for it to not be now. I am looking forward to meeting the man who
said this about Jesus. I hope it is my fourth person to meet in Heaven. Acts
10:34 Then Peter opened his mouth, and
said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons:
I am one of those
people that believe every word of the Holy Bible. I do care what it says, I
believe it is true, whether I understand it or not. This was the verse that
changed my mind. If God, Jesus, or Holy Spirit is no respecter of persons, then
He should not withhold any good thing from me.
Luke 11:13 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?
Truthfully, Father
has filled my life with all kinds of good things. I am talking about Spiritual,
physical, and emotional things, which I know that, had to come from Him!! I
still am confused about the tongues, but then again, and one more time. 1Corinthians 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion, but of
peace, as in all churches of the saints.
Ain’t God good?
….Much Love
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