I Would Have Laughed

I believe that my relationship with Jesus gets stranger, and stranger, as the time goes on. Not that it is really strange, but beyond the norm, which I could have ever conceived. If somebody had prophesied in my life, my current relationship with Jesus today, I am sure that I would have laughed, in their face.  The problem would not have been with their prophesy. The problem would not been with Father, Jesus, or Holy Spirit, in any way either. However, the problem would have lied smack, dab, in the middle of my chest.

I had a severe heart problem, and just couldn’t get it. I realized that I needed Jesus Christ, in my life more, than I needed my next breath!! I would go along for week, days, and sometimes months, playing a very dangerous game of religion. Then I would get very tired, of playing these games, and go back to living like a heathen.

Some folks would say that I was never Saved. Actually, I don’t know when I got Saved for sure. Could it have been the first time I went down to the alter, at the age of seven?  Maybe it was one of those many times, which I begged, and pleaded for Salvation, over the next forty years. I really don’t have a clue when it happened. Today I am settled in my heart, and Spirit, that I am!!

Why in Heaven, would you tell these things, to the readers of this blog?      Are you ready?     Are you sure?      There is just one main reason, why I would tell this to the readers, and that is because it is absolutely true!!       I was really shy, about certain issues growing up. I had been taught, that there are certain things, that we shouldn’t share. Every question that I asked growing up, about the Bible, or God, I always got the same answer. Either, you don’t question God, or just because that is the way that it is.

I am not blaming anybody, for the things that happened in my life. That was just the way that it was in my house growing up. I’m sure that I asked too many questions, and they could be embarrassing, if the answers weren’t known. The other reason, that I would tell the readers this is because, if someone else has gone through this, or going through this presently, so that they will know that they are not alone.

The only thing that I know about God today has come directly, from the Word of God. The thing which I read, and come to understand, doesn’t always line up with the teaching, of the modern day church. Many of the churches today, are just trying to get the sanctuaries full, so the offering plates stay full. If they ever speak of this verse I bet that they do their best to explain it away.

Leviticus 11:44  For I am the LORD your God: ye shall therefore sanctify yourselves, and ye shall be holy; for I am holy: neither shall ye defile yourselves with any manner of creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

This is probably one of the main verses, which hung me up, on accepting that my Salvation was real. I am really not sure what that it is like to be Holy like God. I simply knew in my heart of hearts, that I didn’t even come close, to this impossibility. Another great mystery, that I could not grasp, was the fact, that Jesus had clothed me with His righteousness, and the part about being Holy had been covered.

My Spiritual schooling wasn’t much to be desired. My Mother was the only Christian that I had real contact with. If the truth be told she wasn’t any better off, than I was at the time. She didn’t have much formal education. I guess that it was different in the day, that she was raised. I know that she lost both her parents, at a very young age, and the fourth grade was as far as she went in school.

I was raised in a Southern Baptist Church, but I don’t recall hearing the phrase, “Discipleship Class” until I was thirty-six, and living in Florida.  That was one of the strangest things, which I ever heard of doing. Maybe I assumed that I should be getting all this attending two services on Sunday, and one on Wednesday night, along with a week-long revival, during the year.

I really don’t understand why things were that way, because there always have been really knowledgeable preachers in the world, before our country was even discovered. I am going back to the year 1970. That was the first time I went to the alter, to ask Jesus to Save me. I remember some vivid details of that experience also. The only thing that I don’t know was if it worked or not. After-all, what would a seven year old boy be burdened, for Jesus to Save his soul, and change his life?  I guess there are a lot of things, that I will simply have to wait to ask Jesus personally. By the time that comes, I probably won’t care anyway.

I have had a real struggle understanding my relationship with God, for most of my life. One of the worst times, that I had was when I was in the Alcohol anonymous program. I was led to believe, that I could choose, the god of my understanding, as my higher power. I thought that was great!! I had the right to make my god, to tell me anything, that I wanted to hear.  Do you know the great thing about that?  It made me like the most part, of this world, on the wrong road.

Matthew 7:13  Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat:

I do not believe, that my life has been without purpose. I believe, that my purpose is to share the strangeness of my life, because there is somebody else in this world, which can benefit from my honesty. I don’t believe that there are any mistakes in God’s creation. I believe that everything has a direct purpose.

The disciples questioned Jesus about the blind man since his birth. They asked him who’s sin it was that caused him to be born blind. This is what Jesus said:    John 9:3  Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.

I can only hope, that this is the same answer, to my life’s dilemma.   Ain’t Jesus simply Awesome?

….Much Love