I knew that the
day would eventually come when I would have to call it quits. The day
arrived today. For some strange reason I just couldn't take it any
longer. I slept in until after nine this morning, and so I missed the
Sunday service at my church. That is two Sunday's in a row . There is
no way that I will be able to survive with three misses in a row.
You know the rule. Three strikes, and your out!!
I guess that I
knew that the day would come where I would have just to say that
enough was finally enough. I reckon that I had pouted about living in
this almost unbearable living hell, and it is time to lighten the
load from off my shoulders. It was time to help the Lord by allowing
Him to bless me however He choose, and it what way that He chooses!!
I had been
sleeping in a little cramped up hole with people all around me. I
moved up in front of the room where I have only one person beside of
me, and twice as much space between us. I have far more room in my
locker space, so I am not all that cramped up in that aspect now. It
was like living out of a box before, and the problem with that is
that I never know which box that I am living inside of at the time!!
I really think
that I will enjoy my time better up here. The only door to the inside
is just mere feet from the head of my bed. I don't really see that
being a major problem. At least nothing that my earplugs, and night
visor can't handle!! Actually,.......This is the first day
that I have stayed inside since I moved up here. Normally I leave
before daylight, and don't come in til after dark.
The reason that I
think that I moved into a more comfortable resting place is the fact
that my major hiding spot will be closed three days for Christmas.
Yes,........The library has shut down for three days in a row!! I can
always go and hang out at Mickey D's, but only for so many hours. I
might run over there in a little while to post, but then
again,.......I just might not!!
Another thing
that I need to get in motion on is applying for my Disability check.
I should have already taken care of this, but I am still in denial
about the fact that I might be able to work. I sure would like to
have a job, because I know how it can make a mans self worth run at
an all time high. I am at the point in my life where I just want
enough money to take me on through while volunteering my time to help
others. My plan is to be a help to those whom can use my knowledge.
Those who are willing to accept help in which to improve their lives.
Hopefully,.....Helping those kind of like myself.....Except not as
hard headed!! Well,..........That is my plan anyway . All that I am
waiting on is confirmation from the boss!! What ever He wants for me
will be fine.
This holiday
season has been unusually hard on me. I am still sick as a dog, which
is highly unusual for me. I rarely ever get sick, but for some reason
I can barely hold my head up today. I almost need to be on my death
bed to go to the Dr., and I reckon that it is getting to that point.
I am thinking after Christmas I need to go ahead and set me an
appointment.
You know that
this is now several hours later, and all is well. I needed to pick up
my medications, and by the time I got them I was almost immobile. I
got sicker, and sicker as the day went on. I failed to realize that I
had gone several days without taking proper medication. I would
imagine that my blood pressure had been running high, and that was
the reason that I was feeling so bad. I had no pain meds of any kind.
I guess that my pulse was running well over into the 100's. It is
strange how this can creep up on a man that should know all the
warning sighs!!
All is well, and
God still sets on the throne of my life!! I am happy that I
didn't have to go any deeper in misery than I choose to go. I simply
don't know how that I missed all the warning signs?
…..........Much Love
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