The reason that I stayed in bed so late was because of a secret
sin. Actually, my secret sin kept me lying down until two-o’clock, this
afternoon. I still don’t feel really good, but I am forcing myself to stay up.
I need to do a few things, mostly regarding this blog. I have several posts,
which I haven’t even made it to the Internet yet. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah …I am going
to reveal my secret sin. Give me a minute!!
It is a little white pill called Hydrocodone. It is a cheap
imitation of a real pill given for major back pain. At least that is why that they
gave them to me. It has more acetaminophen
than a pain killing substance. I really have found that if I don’t take that
drug my back doesn’t really hurt all that much. I don’t understand how it can
make me feel more pain, but it does.
If my back is hurting greatly without taking then, then it helps
to take a few. The only problem is that a few can quickly turn into several
days. This time it turned into three days straight. I forget why I don’t take
them, but I was reminded today. The reason is that they make me very sick if I
don’t keep taking them.
Having taken them for three days is a miracle in itself. Once I
start I pretty much take all that I have and I am really sick for a few days.
The reason that I know that taking them is my secret sin is simple. I take them
like a junkie would, instead of how it says to on the bottle. More than likely
if my devotional for today had been about anything else, I would probably been
going on day four.
It is really a horrible mess when I get this way. It causes my
days to vanish quickly, and it does affect my relationship with Jesus. I missed
the Sunday service at my church. There is no telling the opportunities that I
don’t even know about, that could have been missed. I know that I didn’t miss
the Saturday night service. Because I missed that service was probably the
reason that I took then to begin with.
Now, I am bearing my secret sin for the whole world to know. You
might not think that there are people that read this blog, that actually know
me, However I beg to differ. What would make any one of my readers think, that
they have all the haters to themselves? Actually, a few must have slipped
through the cracks, because I have a couple of my very own!! Having my own set
of haters is really good for me. They help to keep me in line, and I can use
all the help that is available!!
I hope that y’all realize that Father is happy with me right
now. He might have been happier if I hadn’t got in this mess to begin with, but
it is too late for that thought now. Jesus has taken me too far to be playing
games anymore. If I fall, or fail, I plan to quickly run back into His arms,
with a Spirit of repentance. It is getting to the point that life is getting
shorter by the day.
A friend of mine told me that my buddy that was with me, though
out the program that I attended, has been missing for the past five days. That
will usually mean that he returned to the former life. The best case scenario
is that he is no longer employed. Either way, when he first told me, I
exclaimed that he should have known better than profess God, and screw people
over. Myself being the one that he did wrong.
Holy Spirit got on me quickly for that reply. A stern “James,”
rolled through my spirit, and I hit my knees. Father, forgive me of my bad
attitude, and help my friend get back on the right path. Please don’t let his
five little ones suffer, because of him.
All in all, it has been a magnificent week, for the chance for
me to repent. I believe that I have had the privilege to stay at the feet of
Jesus more than normal. Although, I don’t mind at all, because I have grown
quite comfortable in that position. As long as I am in that position, it keeps
me from being in trouble elsewhere.
………….Much Love
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