Death Comes Suddenly

I got word of the death of one of my roommates, when I was in the life builders program. I call my counselor, and he confirmed that it was true. This man had the same opportunity, that we all had, that has gone through that program. He did everything by the book. He completed every phase that was offered, and he went to every church service that was required to attend. Just because we were required to attend, a certain number of church services don’t mean, that they have all attended. They really never checked, because it was on the honor system.

He fell before he even left the program, because he had got this unreal paying job. He was making so much money that the thought of drinking alcohol took a priority in his life. The crazy thing was the Doctor’s had told him that if he ever started back drinking, that it would kill him.  In all reality he knew the consequences, but chooses to take that chance once again.

I ran into an old friend of mine the other day at the grocery store. He was checking out in front of me, and he turned to look at me. “Don’t I know you?” I replied in my slow southern dialect, “Maybe. Who are you?” I didn’t think that this guy knew me from Adam’s tom cat, but I was willing to humor him a bit. I had looked him from top to bottom, while frantically searching the archive of my mind. Nope. I was sure that he didn’t know me, as I didn’t know him.

He started telling me his name, and I finished it before he did. Yeah,…You bet that I knew him, but what the heck happened. The last time that I saw him he weighed nearly three hundred pounds. He was a big robust kinda fellow, and now he weighed less than two hundred pounds. A lot less!! The last time that I saw him was in 1998. I remember this because I was lying inside of a nursing home, a victim of a stroke.

The lifestyle that I have lived for most of my life, has allowed me a ring side seat, for death and disaster. The only reason that I have not been dead, a few times over, is the fact that it was not the will of Father. He has saved me even when I did not want to be alive. “This is the day that the Lord has made. We will rejoice, and be glad in it!!” (Psalms 118:24)

This is my philosophy on life today. I have got where the first words, out of my mouth upon waking, are these words.  I want the Devil to know where I stand, and who’s that I am!! Shortly after my feet hit the floor, if not immediately, I bow beside my bed to come before my Creator. I no longer own a television set, and this not an accident. I gave it away!! I live by great programing on Christian radio. I listen to mostly the preaching of the Word.

Why in the world are you telling us all this? There has be a hidden agenda!!     Actually, the agenda is not hidden, and it will be revealed right now. I am as happy as I can ever remember being, in my life. It did not come by accident either. I had to make a decision, a choice, get off the fence, and stick with my choice.  

All of my life, even during the highest level of sinning, there has always been this nagging, almost chewing on me, secret. Something inside of me kept saying that God is what I needed in my life. I knew that was not going to happen. I was under the illusion, that I would have to straighten my act up first, and that was not going to happen anytime soon. Oh….Did I tell you that I was saved, when I was seven years old?

I was being deceived, by the master of deception. My life was nothing more, than one disaster after the next. I decided in 2010 that this must all come to an end, so one night I took a handful of pills, which should have put an elephant to sleep for eternity!! I had even seen that bright white light, and then it was another morning. I was so furiously angry, and I knew the only reason, that I was still breathing!!

Ain’t God good?  No. He didn’t lovingly pick me up, and change my diaper, and set me on my way. I reckon that I was a hard case, and needed a bit more proof, that my life could be in a greater mess. I am not going into the detail right now. However, by the time that it ended, I was more than happy to surrender!!

Sometimes, when I am telling you the way that my life is today. I get nervous that I might be coming off, as a man that is, “Holier than thou.” That is not the case. I have been through a hellish lifestyle, and am grateful to my God, for ripping me out of the jaws of Satan, and giving me a life. I have a mission to fulfill, and a life to live!! “This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice, and be glad in it!!”

I love living my life under the blessing of Father. I go out in the world every day, speaking to almost everybody. Nothing is that serious now. Do you know what I find to be the least serious now? It is myself!! I have finally learned to give myself a break, and the way that is accomplished is the fact, that I am not the most serious issue, in my life today.

It is really a relief for me to live this way. To say that I was a drama king for most of my life was an understatement. Nobody ever had anything, done to them worse, that was done to me. Nobody had ever achieved on the same level, which I achieved. I was the greatest person that I had ever known, and certainly the smartest, in the crowd that I ran in. Can anybody say the word, deceived?  How can I person like this live up to their own expectations?  Worse than my own expectations, how about the expectations of God?         Yes Sir, I had a long way to go!!

          …….Much Love