why facebook?

i bet your wondering why a redneck from bama would care anything about face book? that's a good question, and if you figure it out, please let me know.
seriously, for the longest time i avoided face book, and denied any request to be a part of it. one day that changed. they had something that i needed, and the only way to access the information was to be a member myself.
i thought this is a no brainer!! I'll just contact this person then wipe face book out of my memory, and off my computer.
i need to go back to a really tough time in my life. yep,........that's right,.............it was a girl!! no just any girl though. that once in a lifetime event that you just piss off in the wind, and spend the rest of your life kickin' your butt, and asking a lot of what ifs.
i spent over three years with this one, and it should have been a lifetime. i was simply a hell cat with a fire cracker tied to his tale. in other words, i was too stupid for my own good.
anyway, i ran away to Florida, and had no contact with her in around 20 years. the last time i had talked with her she had got married. her husband didn't really appreciate the humor in me calling collect, and drunk at two o'clock in the morning either. he must have really had an impact on me that night, because that was the last time that i did that!!
i had spent several years trying to find her again. i had one minor problem. i didn't know her last name. often i would google her maiden name with no results. then one day something popped up on google. she had a face book page, and thus why face book.
i was as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs the first time that i wrote her. i knew that i had really screwed up with her. i didn't even know what her reaction would be to me contacting her. the only thing that i knew for sure was that i had to try. this girl was special. she was my first love.
she contacted me back really quick. i had sent her my e-mail address. i remember sitting there just looking at the letter for hours before i could even open it. this was the moment of truth.
i couldn't blame her for anything that she might would say though, but i had great fear to look. i kept thinking that maybe i shouldn't have contacted her at all. maybe i had put her through enough misery in my past, and should have just left it alone.
i finally opened the letter, and started to read her thoughts. to my surprise she had been looking for me also. she didn't hold any of that bad blood that happened at the end, against me. she wanted to know what I've been doing for all these years, and was telling me about her life.
we have been talking for several months now. i am relived that she doesn't hate me. i needed for that to happen so i could let go of my past, and start the long over due process of healing.
she is still married to that guy from years ago. one day i ask her if he still hated me as much as he did that night on the phone. she just replied.............yep,.............sure enough!!
oh well,...............you can't make everybody like you. even though i have no ill intentions toward this man, he does have something that i value very much. he has my first love, and i guess that he should have her, because he seems to make her happy. as long as he gives her what she needs in this life, i would never even try to come between them.
i had my shot, and i had an excellent Chance to have made it a lifetime event. i screwed up, and i paid my price. now all the what ifs that i wondered about for so long have turned into the reality of what is. there is no illusion of confusion with this girl anymore.