i was shocked to find out...

you know,...........i really was shocked to find out that my perception of life is still as distorted, and twisted as it ever was!!
i never really care to hear that folks from my past has moved alone. i have noticed that the older that you get the more death is all around you. sometimes,............i hate to admit this, but sometimes i hear about the death of a person, and i just think,  " oh,..........i knew him, or her."
I'm not always that cold and shallow. sometime a persons passing really has an effect on me. like the recent passing of Nan Monroe. from this point on i will refer to her as Mrs. Monroe. i need to show her the same respect as i did when i was a child.
i was raised in as small town in Alabama called Geraldine. we had one school where all grades attended.  Mrs. Monroe was a science teacher during my whole attendance at school, and for quiet a few years after. i believe that i was in the 9th grade before i ever really had any dealings with her.
i don't know why, but i had a problem with Mrs. Monroe before i ever got to her class. it could been as small, and probably was,............as her just calling my on my bad behavior one day.  i vowed in my heart to make that woman wish that she had never seen me before, and i went into her classes with exactly that attitude.
Mrs. Monroe had already been teaching for longer that i had been alive when i decided to butt heads with a seasoned professional. i had no idea what i was up against, but i knew that somehow she knew all about my type. this was not her first rodeo, and she had a few tricks up her sleeve.
i was just a general jackass in her classes. i was disruptive, and by the third week in school i had already got my very owned assigned seat in her class. all the way at the front laboratory in the Science class. trust me,..........this little accomplishment is not posted on my resume.
she saw something in me that i didn't even see. she knew that underneath that bullshit facade that was up front in my actions that i was really a smart person, and capable of learning on any level that i chose to learn from. she started calling on me for the answers to her questions. which in turn caused me to study more, so i wouldn't look like a fool not knowing the answers.
in time she told me that i could set anywhere in her class that i wanted, and i chose to stay right where i was, because i felt like i really was special to sit in the front of the class. plus,........i knew the temptation to set anywhere else would cause me to fall from grace in her eyes, and that was important to me.
Mrs. Monroe became my friend that year, and continued to be that way until i left school. when i heard of her death i surely thought that the flags would be flying at half-mast, and a parade thrown in her honor for the achievements that she had made in her life.                none of those things happened, and i really was shocked to figure out that she was an un-sung hero,............only in my eyes.

              ..........much love