the dark side

you know,.............i have this place that i mentally wind up in at times. i call it the dark side.  i am not really sure how to tell this story, but i believe that it's time to at least make an attempt to tell about this state of madness. I'm having difficulty pinpointing what causes me to do this, and i really don't do it often. the thing is while it's going on it can lead to total devastation if i don't snap out of it.
hey,...........i just had a thought.            it might be pressure from life, and i go into some kind of over-load status, stretching my  mentality to the extreme point of hearing the squeaking just before the snap.  do you know what i mean?           can anybody relate to what I'm saying?
the dark side is not all a living hell.            actually,..........it can be quite the pleasure at times. when you float off in the midnight moonlight heading toward the divine city full of everlasting peace, and there is not a care in the world can over-ride your heart of joy.
now,.........I'm serious!!                       when the pressures of life start to crack my skull open i just visit a land of deluxe harmony. a place, and time whose only source of location is deep in my mind. i have never dove this deep before, and I'm finding the results simply amazing!!
 the thing that i find the most amazing is " why me?"                  why am i going the total opposite way from most folks when the mentally trip out.           ..........,and i believe with all my heart that i am trippin' out,  but it's going in the right direction. 
the psyche ward is full of some of the un-happiest nuts cases in the world.     why should i be so blessed to lose my mind, and trade it in on a happy go lucky,.............24-7,..............all the time,..........state of mind?            yeah,..............that's right,.......................candy land is not as beautiful as this place, and monopoly can't afford to buy it.
the problem is that i just can't stay there s long as i would like to at times. i never really know when i might just wind up there, and most of the time i don't even seem to notice until i return to home base.  it's another one of those hind-sight is 20/20 torture test for me!!
the hellish part of the whole mystery of my exotic land is that i always come back,......................and life is good once again!! i see the pressures that almost sent me on over,........... in a total different light..

sound the horns!!            sound the horns!!               Mr. Illusion need to re-group, and seek a different battle plan, and a new strategy to pass through this phase in his life to the next level.          i am desperate to see what the next level of my life holds in store for me.
     
                 ...............much love