life is good!!

no,...............nothing has changed in my life today. if anything, it's got worse. the stone cold truth though is life is good no matter how bad it can seem at times. i believe this is what i call the illusion of confusion, and i am the self-proclaimed master of dealing with it!!
the really sad truth is that I'm deceiving myself,...........maybe.                    i believe that everyone of us deals with the same things in this life, but not all of us deal with it at the same time. actually, the only thing any different about me, and the rest of the people in this world is the fact that i write about it.
i have no fear of telling the world what I'm going through at the moment, and what I've already passed through. I'm thinking that each of us eventually become the hero's of our own stories in life, if we just sit back for a moment, and look at it honestly.

we are all born the same way,...............naked, and without anything what-so-ever!! the really good thing is that some of us were born into great families, and realize that early. we quickly take full advantage of this, and it effects the way we turn out...................but,......................does it really?
we never know but so much about a person, and that's exactly what they are willing to share with us. we all have secrets of our life well hidden. we only tell each other what we want them to know about ourselves.
sometimes the rich and famous let things that they really don't want to share loose, because of their lifestyle, and the simple event of getting caught in action.

my life has meant something to me. even though I've really screwed the biggest part of it up by my own bad decisions. if i could go back, and re-live it, knowing what i know now,..................would i really change a thing?           i could avoid a lot of pain if i did, but what would disappear along with that pain, and would a different type of pain appear in the absence of the pain that I've suffered? would just changing one thing cause catastrophic changes all across my entire life?

fortunate for me I'll never know the answers to those questions. i am well satisfied that my life has turned out, and will continue to turn out, as it was meant to be for me. i believe that so far I've crossed paths with everyone that i was supposed to interact with, in the way, and time that should have been. I'm not saying that I'm happy with everything that has been so far, but i am saying that it had to happen to make me who i am today.
I've had some really bad times in my life, and I've had some really great times in my life. I've shared love, and i believe it to be true love with some great people in my life. I'm talking about love shared with family, friends, and lovers. each one of these people have changed me in some kinda way, and for this i will ever be eternally grateful!!
isn't the love that we share with each other turn out to be the most important aspect at the end of our lives? who really thinks about anything else on our death beds? does that gold watch even enter our minds after 20-40 years of service to a company when it's all over? are we really upset about the bills that we haven't paid yet when were staring death square in the eyes?  what really matters to us then should matter to us all through this journey that we call life!!

i love music, and i love all kinds!! most of the music that I've ever listened to has something to do with love. most of the poetry ever written is about love also. it would be hard to read a book that was written without a love story concealed within it's pages. all the major plays ever written have some type of love story involved.

I'm not sure why I'm writing this, but i think it must be important to me. maybe i just want to let those that are in my life right now, and have been in my life in the past know that i truly love them. it don't really matter what separated us, if we have become separated. i still love each and everyone of you simply because you have made me what i am today!! the good, the bad, and the ugly of it!!

now,.........here is the big question:  do i think that my life is almost over, and why am i writing this?

the answer:  no, i surely don't think that it's over, but i know that I'm fixing to go through some major changes.........again. the reason that I'm writing this is just to reflect on what's really important in my life, and always has been, even when i didn't recognize it as being the only thing that should have mattered all along. I've been foolish, and if i can stop just one person from making the same mistakes that I've made, then it has to be worth it. I've thrown way too much of my life away from silliness, or was that just the way that it was supposed to be?  who really knows, but..........................