friends

one of Mr. illusion of confusion greatest sayings was, " friends........they are highly over-rated."  i couldn't have been more wrong!!! actually i was looking at the whole thing through a pair of self-centered spectacles.
i've always looked at it from a view of what am i getting from this friendship, and that's why i thought that they were over-rated.
when i became homeless i had a lot of time to think about everything. trust me when i say this that i thought about everything!! i had nothing but time to gather the thoughts that were scattered throughout my brain. as i started collecting them, and putting them in the same corral that they belonged in i started to see something forming. i truly know why people now say brain scattered, because i was living proof.
being a friend is far more important than having friends. wow!!...........what a concept!! of coarse i had to try this out for size, and i had the worlds toughest crowd at my disposal. if it worked with the homeless, then i figured that it would work for most people. the homeless are bitter people for the most part, because they have been abused for the most part. people just don't understand how they abuse them either. we tend to forget that people are just people. no matter where you are in the life cycle we all have basic needs.
love is the most basic need that we all have, and love comes in many different forms. fortunate for me i have a big ole' tender heart full of love, so i knew that was what i had to offer.
i learned several different ways that i could show this love to my comrades on the streets. most people have a story to tell, or something to say. i figured that if i could learn to patiently listen, and give an encouraging word that's what they needed. they needed a friend that they could trust to tell the stuff that was inside of them just bursting forth to come out.
what i learned from listening was that everyone one of them used to have a life. some of their stories were quite amazing in fact. they all had families and friends, and now they are just sitting on a park bench wasting away with dreams of their past.
i guess if your going to be homeless that jax is the place to be. at least you wont go hungry. however, i found an ice breaker that few could resist............chocolate!! almost everybody has a sweet tooth, and chocolate is a great motivator. just break out a bag of chocolate, and the hardest of hearts become tender again. before long you've made another friend that wants to talk. i think that being homeless causes most folks to withdrawl so deep that they hold so much inside, and it needs to escape. i have personally gone days without talking, and having a home, so you can imagine being sorrounded by folks that you don't even know.
let me say a word about the life of the party. there are a few that seemed to be over-joyed at all times, and they attract their own kind. the eat together, and play games together, and have their own social network. i've always avoided these types, and most people do. they don't seem to even grasp the concept that they are down and out. it's like there is not a thing wrong in the world that they live in, and they live in their own world. it's mostly a fantasy world made up of what they think that it should be. now,........i'm not saying that there is anything wrong with this, because i don't know for a fact. maybe it's just the way that they cope with a bad situation. to me being upbeat, and still realizing what the real deal is just fine. there are times that i live in a fantasy world. i've even written about it. i simply need to keep my feet planted on the ground, and strive toward a working solution to get me out of it while hopefully spreading joy.
let me say this, my plan of spreading love was an over-whelming success. not everybody was receptive to it, but i had the majority. i could continue on with what i have done, but i need to move on into a different kind of friendship, and a more serious degree of love.

why did i think that friends were highly over-rated? now that is simple,.........i was blind. it wasn't about what they could do for me, as much as what i could do for them. i never really thought that my value of being a friend was much. i never figured that what i did really mattered a lot. i couldn't see how i was important in our relationship.
it takes two people to have a friendship, and it grows over time. it just doesn't happen over night. a bond has to form, and gets tighter as the days pass. you know a true friendship evolves to a point that is unreal. you know that we do things to hurt people, and they do also. a true friend expects this to happen, and is ok with it. we over-look each others faults, and grow used to them, because it is truly who a person is. we accept each other for what we are, and don't try to change each other. a true friend is a person that loves you in spite of your faults, and you return that love in spite of theirs. every now and then one of us gets angry because of something that we've done, but a real friend finds it hard to hold a grudge for any amount of time.
if i didn't learn but one thing while i was living on the streets. it has to be the fact that i desperately need friends in my life. i need to share whatever is going on with me at the time. the best way that i know how to get friends is be a friend first.
i have a new saying now.  friends,..............the are highly under-rated, and much needed!!!

                                                ....................much love