Test?......We no need no Stinkin' test man!!

Why me Oh Lord?        Do y'all ever feel like that in a situation?      What now Father!?     What else can go wrong!?        Why me Jesus?         What have I done wrong now?

Honestly, when I get this way I should realize that a major test is in progress.    I sure enough went through one this weekend.      It consisted of my move out plan being smashed to bits!!

My buddy had told me, that he was going to bless me, with a few things to make my move smoother. I was very naive concerning this situation, and gladly accepted his offer. This plan was made a couple months ago. I was expecting a microwave oven, and a mini refrigerator. Plus, I had done some work for him, and told him just to hold on to the money. I planned to pay my deposit, and firsts month with that cash.

We talked last Friday about the cash situation, because the time was here to pay the bills. He told me that he would get the money from the bank, and give it to me later in the day. A couple hours later he was saying that it would need to be Saturday morning, because of difficulties unforeseen. I confessed that I really didn't have to have it in my hand until Monday morning. I told my friend that it had to happen by then, and he assured me there would be no problem.

I went over to McDuff Monday morning at six A.M. He stated acting funny when he first saw me. He immediately pulled me to the side, and was explaining the fact that his wife had wrote a check that he was unaware of, and it needed to clear. He promised me that the money would be in my hand by noon at the latest.

He could tell by the look that I gave him that it was over. There wasn't a word that he could say, that I would believe now. He said that he needed to run home, and see if he could speed the process up any, when I told him that I was swapping my give back day to this day. I wasn't dressed for this, but I was not going to let his dishonest behavior deter myself.

He stayed gone for two hours, and move the time on up until three. I tried to stay, and act like I wasn't affected by what was going on. I was simply not man enough to act like everything was alright, but for an hour later. I had reached my boiling point, and need to get out from his presence. He had known that my new place to live, and my security had been placed in his hands. My dreams had just crashed before both of our eyes!!

He was trying his best to avoid me, for that other hour. I was boiling mad, and everything that I touched turn south on me. I had gotten mud on me from head to toe, and my new white Adidas’s were also covered with mud. I went and picked up my bag as I was heading for the door. It was way early to leave, but I simply had to go. He was on the far end of the dining room, when I was walking out of the kitchen.

He motioned a goodbye wave at me with the look of relief all over his face. I yelled for him to call me when we were straight once again. He silently nodded, and I walked out the door. All I could see was me living on the street, when I was so close.       You ever get shaking mad?      You know you are the product of needing anger management, when a person gets like that!!

I was on the phone with another of my buddies that I attend church with asking for a loan. I told him if he had it to spare, and trusted me enough to loan the money to me, that I would really appreciate him doing it for me. His answer was a great one. I need to pray about it he said. Although, I had no idea what his answer would be, I appreciated him bring what was our issue now, before the throne.

I really can't tell you how many hours that I was purely miserable with a sickness yesterday, from worry and grief.      Every emotion surfaced inside my body, and mind.      Everything I touched, became a complete mess.   The worst thing was the fact that I was no longer comfortable in my own skin.      I couldn't stay in one place long enough to calm down.     I was a mess!!

I finally reached the crossroads of sanity, and insane behavior.     I had to make a choice quickly.  I went to talking to Father.     I said, if You want me on the streets just tell me.     I will go right now. I can stand being like this anymore.      I put you in charge of this move, and my buddy was going to make it easier for me to do it.        You are still in charge, and I just surrender!!     I can not be a weapon of harvesting hatred toward my friend.      No matter what he is doing wrong, or not doing wrong.         I am going to love him like nothing has happened, because it is not that big of a deal.            You are my God, and in total control of my life!!

Wham!!             That is all that it took.             My heart expanded, as the peace that passes all understanding filled it back up once again.      I was no longer angry about anything that the day had dumped on my doorstep.       I went back around to my other comrades that I had been bad mouthing to about the situation.        I told them that it really didn't matter.       That I had forgave him of any wrong that I had considered that he was guilty of doing.

Less than an hour later my other friend called back to say that he was less than ten minutes away. He was bringing my loan to me.     He told me not to get in a hurry to pay it back.     Wait until I could afford to pay it back.

I went and paid my deposit, and first months rent this morning.     The power of forgiveness is awesome both ways.      I forgave my buddy, and those folks where I am moving, forgave me for not making the time that we had agreed on.      I learned a great lesson yesterday about Father. When a person places something of great importance in His hands, He never drops it.       That is why we walk by faith, and not by sight....

…....Much Love