I know what you're thinking...

I never cease,to be amazed, at the goodness of God, in my life today. Often I wonder why, this is not happening, and why that is not happening either. I knew that the Good Lord's timing is perfect but, I still can't help to wish, that it would be more, on my time schedule. I currently am living, in a high stress environment, and I really think that a lot of the stress, is coming from myself. I won't say that there is not a fair share already, in place here, and I am just not handling it properly.

Part of this might be the fact, that all of a sudden, can't remember details, like I once could. Most of this is useless information, that I no longer need to hold on to, like who played, what part, in which movie. Just general stuff like, where I have no real need, to recall anymore. I tend to be reprogramming my mind, with useful things like scripture.

I can't even start to tell you how long I have been in ninth place, on the waiting list, for my place. I think today, was the second week, in a row. It has really not been, that long of a wait. Monday will be three months exactly. More than this time not speeding up, I am starting to have a problem comprehending, that I have dedicated two years, of my life, to this program.

Honestly, I came with the end in mind. It was not, to have a place to live. It was not, to get a better job or, even a job. It was not, to become religious. It was not about, a lot of things, that It could have been about. However, the end in mind, was to grasp hold, of the real living God!! With this mission in mind, I am here to tell you, that I have finished this program with honors. I have found much more, than I have bargained, or could have hoped to find.

It tickles me sometimes, when folks tell me, that they really don't understand me. I just laugh, and say that is alright. I really don't understand myself at times, because I am still a work in progress. I am learning daily, as I go along. I am looking so forward, to getting my own place once again.

I was trying to think of the last time, that I lived in my own place without roommates. The best that I could come up with was a brief time, maybe nine months in 2003, before that, we will have to go back into the middle, of the ninety's. That lasted approximately three years. It has been a solid decade, since I have had the pleasure, of living by myself.

That just goes to show that there is nothing impossible with God!! I give Him all the praise, honor, and glory, for every good thing, in my life today. I have found a friend, like no other, that I have ever had before.

I need to break it off right here, and share a little nugget, that a friend of mine shared with me, the other day. I hadn't seen him in quite some time, and were were walking different directions, on the same street. He recognized me before I did him, and I could tell, by the smile on his face. We met and gave each other a Christian hug. We stood on the sidewalk, and talked about the only thing, that really matters to either of us: God.

Before he walked away he shared a scripture with me. It can be found in the book of Proverbs, chapter 3, verse 6. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Hold on just a minute here!! What do you really think that means? Could it possibly be speaking, of our attitude? Naw!! The good Lord don't care nuthin' bout, my worst attitudes. He don't want to hear nothing come, out of my mouth except praise!!

Honestly, that was how I used to think. I never even considered, coming before God, with a messed up attitude, or a bunch of mixed emotions. I always thought that He would not accept nothing less ,than my A game. Then I found another scripture to back this one up. This one may be a little alarming. This is found in the book of Ezekiel 11:5, And the Spirit of the Lord fell upon me, and said unto me, Speak; Thus saith the Lord; Thus have ye said, O house of Israel: for I know the things that come into your mind, every one of them.

I believe with all that inside of me, that if we will simply, approach the Lord, as we really are, that He will do a great work in us!! Can anybody, really see the benefit, in trying to fake a move with Father? He knows our every thought!! The first step to solving any problem, is to admit that there is a problem, to begin with. I can't say about nobody else, but I am still a mess!! I was a much worse mess when I came to Jesus. None the less, I am still a great big ole mess, than needs more work in my life. I require major surgery from the great physician.

The real deal for myself, is the more that I know Jesus, the more that I love and trust Him, in my life. I am amazed, at the fact, of how I ever made a move without Him.

…......Much Love