I Remember

The Lord has been good to me, these last couple years. He really has taken excellent care of me. I have got every thing that I need. I sometimes think, that I need something different, but I have suffered no lack. My clothes are really not all that nice, and I am believing God, for new ones. I certainly believe that He will meet, that need also. Some of my socks have holes in them, and some of my underwear are in the same boat. Some of my shirts have more color, when I turn them inside out.

As far as my moving out, of this mission goes; I really have an idea set up, waiting on me. I have never saw the inside of my room, but I don't have to see it. I ask Father for it, and it will be just what I need. Much more than this, the timing of my move will be prefect. Father is in charge of all these things!!

I can't wait until they hand me the key, and tell me where to find my place. I will go straight, to my place, thanking the Lord, every step that I take. Before I even slip a key inside the lock. I plan to anoint that key, and my doorknob with oil. I will dedicate this new home to Jesus. I will sprinkle oil, all around my new surroundings. I want to add the blessings of the Lord, not only on my life, but also in my home.

I remember where I came from, and what I was doing, at the time, before I came into the mission. I know the misery, that I was living. I remember trying, to end my life, because I was convinced, that I was totally worthless. I knew that I was failing, at my feeble attempt, to have a life. I realized that I was deep in sin. I knew that I would die in sin, and split the pits of hell wide open. I had been deceived, into thinking that hell, would be better, than the life, that I was living. I was a man, of self-made misery.

I remember that my closest friend was driving me slap mad. We were both battling, our own set of demons, with no success. We both realized, that we had to do something, to change our style of living. I ran as quick as could run, to seek my relief from God. At this time, I wasn't even sure that He really existed. However, I was willing, to follow the direction, from someone that assured me, that He was real.

I remember all these things. I remember laying in my bunk, at various times, trying to hide my tears. I was hurting from every thing, that I needed to give up, or in the process, of giving up. Smoking, was the hardest addiction, that I have ever encountered, with giving up. Somehow down deep inside, I knew that if I didn't stop smoking, that God could not bless me, the way that He wanted to bless me.

I so longed for the love of Father to wrap Himself around me. I need His protection, in my life. Not protection from the devil, but protection from myself. I realized that my biggest enemy, had been myself, for a long time. Satan was having a hard time beating me up, because I was doing, all the work for him.

This Come to Jesus program, at the mission, has been very chaotic. Although, Jesus is here. The only way to find Him, is the fact that I needed, to be looking for Him. There has been several days, that I though that this, is not worth the hassle. That I should just pack my bags, and go live back on the streets. I was very eager to give up. All praise goes to the Prince of peace, that was not willing, to turn me loose.

For these things, I am very grateful. The other fellows, at the mission can't understand, why I do the things that I do. Why I don't cuss much at all any more, and why I get out of bed, at six-thirty, on Sunday mornings? Why don't I complain, as much as the rest of them do? Why do I stay to myself most of the time, and what good is that Bible reading, all the time? Why do I pray on my knees, every morning, and every night? Why do I have to act so much different?

They simply don't realize that it is not an act. It is a choice, that I make each day, of my life, upon waking up. It seems that sometimes I just wake up early, to confirm that choice, before rolling over, and going back to sleep. I don't know anymore about God, than what has been revealed to me, by the Word, and revelation. That has been enough to keep me intrigued.

The answer to why, do I do, the things, that I do, is simple. It is because,........

                                      I Remember!!

…........Much Love