but wait,............ there is still more.

I don't know what is really going on with the things that my life is made up of these days. Some days my blog just flops, and that is no concern of mine. I really do wish that a lot more people would read it, simply for the value that is contained inside the post. I told the Lord when He was nudging me to change the format that I would, and if it was successful that He got all the credit. If it happened to flop He still gets all the credit.

Somehow, I feel responsible when it flops. It is like I don't mind it being a complete failure if I am in charge of it. I don't like it when my God is looking bad. Especially, since I can't find not fault at all in Him. I know that He don't need my help in any way at all. He will work through me if I will allow it to happen. All I have to do is say no then He will find somebody else willing.
There is something going on with my writing also. I get all fired up to write something, and that fire dwindles very quickly. I just lose interest in the middle of what I am writing. I don't understand because I am on fire before I get to my computer. I am like one of Pablo’s dogs. I get a thought, and I start slobbering my face off. I just can't wait to start writing!!     I have a few unfinished stories that I either need to finish, or tie them in together.

I called about my position in the line of folks waiting on a place to live. They said that I was still in the same place that I was last week. I don't believe that they actually checked, and saw where I was located. Something down in my Spirit just told me that was what happened. I don't really care if they tell me the truth of what is going on, because I know when the time is right they will call me. I not really sure why they would want us to call them to begin with. There must be some hidden agenda behind the fact, because I think I could do without all that extra ringing of the phone all day.

I went to the Doctor yesterday.      Oh what a joy that was!!      Every time you go on the poor man's system, you never see the same one.       It seems that it works in their court most of the time, because they fail in bedside manners.     They all seem to be very cranky, and over worked.     It like entering into the great area.    I am in the middle.          Your doctor walks up to you, and at the same time they release the lions.            You have until the hungry loins get to you to state your case.    I could write a full page on what a travesty this is becoming.

However, I can say on this positive about this doctor situation.    It will make a person snuggle up a little closer to Jesus.    If a hard headed person as I am can figure out this situation as quickly as I have, then it must be a breeze for most folks.       It is enough to make a person just throw your hands into the air in complete surrender.       Honestly, that sounds good to me!!         That was just another test that I passed.

While I am at it Lord you can have total control over what I write, but wait,............ there is still more.                Not only can you have total control over what I write, you can have total control over when I write!!           Since you almost have total control over what, and when I write.             You can have whether I post it or simply trash what was written. i do trash a lot of the stuff that i write. It is not that it is pure garbage, it is simply not the right time for it now.

This is what my life has come down to.      This internal battle is going on because I still am in the process of doing a total surrender.       The more ground that I actually give up, causes a flip screen to roll over with something else that needs to be let go of.       I am wondering something.     Am I not doing this the right way, or what is really going on here?      Things seem to be moving much faster than they were before.

I am being taken to school everyday of my life since I have had my encounter with God last week. There is always something rumbling, and growling inside of me that I can't explain.    It is like something is forming on the inside that I can expect to manifest without any warning, at any given time!!     Everything in, and about my Spirit has been raised to a new,and different level.

I know that I must sound like a true babbling idiot, but then again I do most of the time.    I am not the most influential writer of my time, or of any time recorded in history.    I often wonder what am I doing about anything.      The only thing that I can tell you for sure about what I am doing is this.........

…..........Much Love