I guess it is what that it is.

I am experiencing an all new form of anger. I am so angry right now at the way that the mission is doing the guys that are there. I found out last night that at least one out of the three guys in the work program was given the same letter to get on welfare, and leave the mission!! If everything simply goes in the way that it usually goes then all three of them got the letter.

Rumors are flying around at an all time high. Some think that they are going to put families up here. That's why they spent all that money at McDuff to house women and children. Some think that they are bring more men from McDuff. Then why are 75% of the beds here still open, and what is the rush to get us out of the way? The most reasonable rumor that I have heard so far is the fact that they might be clearing the way out for more women. Still that is unreal, because of McDuff. There is really not a valid answer than can come from a rumor. Whatever they are planning to do the cold hard truth of the matter is that they don't want us living their in their way!!

A lot of the sympathy that I have inside of me goes out to the guys caught in their crossfire.          The ones that had made plans, and can't see them to completion the way that they thought.     Even for the guys that had made no plans, because of lack of something that I really can't understand.    I know that this just came about this week, because they put another man on the work program last week.

Oh well,.......After the experience that I had at the beginning of this week, the person that I feel pity for is the one, or the group that made this drastic decision.      The Lord does say in His Word that He will hold Double accountable those that teach His Word, and live like they want to live!!     Out of that group that came to this conclusion Holy Spirit must have been warning some of those men about what they are doing.       Maybe I am wrong.       I am simply assuming that there was a real Christian in the group.        I have never known of Holy Spirit speaking to those whom are not of God. However, He does lay down a serious case of conviction for the lost.

You know,..............After my experience at my church last week, everything is different now.      I fear God in a totally different way now.        I know what He revealed Himself to be to me, and it is not like I am scared.      I was at first but not now.       If I am scared of anything it is the fact that if I don't do the best that I can by Him that He might,.....                      Wow!!                I don't even know what to write.

The bottom line is that I don't want to do anything to upset Father, because I am trying to draw Him nearer to me, by doing what He says to do.          I cannot possibly put in to words the way I feel about the entire Trinity.              I know things now, that I can't explain.                 I can't even allow them to bubble up in my Spirit, and come forth in a way that makes sense.               I am full of joy most of the time now that I can't even explain.

If my reward is something stirring up my Spirit that I possibly will never be able to explain.              Then all I have got to say is, “Can I have a little bit more!!”         I don't care if I ever can make any sense again is long as I can keep my hand inside the hand of Jesus!!       This is the most awesome thing that I have ever had the pleasure of experiencing, and I know that I am just at the second level. I don't have a clue how many more levels that they are, but from where that I am at the appear to be endless!!

I imagine that people think that I am a fool, because I walk down the street speaking to people. I don't care how old you are, are how bad to the bone that you appear to be.      There is something down in me that just bubbles out, and I can't control it!!       I have seen those that act like I do, and they sure enough went on my crazy list!!        City folks just aren't friendly like that, but maybe they should be.        Maybe a few of us can't start a new trend.

The best new thing that ever came out for people in the city is the bluetooth.      Now it looks like everybody is normal when they are walking down the street talking to themselves.      It is real hard to separate the challenger from the challenged.         They all look like a bunch of fruit loops walking around.              The truth is that I feel more at home that way.

I don't know if i made a lot of sense in this post.             I guess it is what that it is.

…..........Much Love