I set my suitcase full of masks on fire

I went over to McDuff today to do one of my give back days. Everything was at the norm for being there. The only difference I see in being there now, and having been there before, is totally me. It pretty much causes a feeling of being completely miserable to fall on me. It never used to do that, and like I say the only thing that has changed is myself. I used to not look around at what was going on if it didn't directly concern me in a personal type of way.

I knew that I was on a mission, and I wasn't gonna let anything interfere with me achieving what I set out to do. I am now stuck in a waiting mode to get out. I really don't care for the new attitude coming from a staff member now.             Once you give me the notice to abandon your program for welfare, and H.U.D. Housing that sounds off in volumes to me.          Your saying that you have given up on my case, and the sooner that I leave the better off that you will be.       That is the way that I perceive the situation at hand.       If I am looking at this in the wrong way, would somebody please, tell me a different way to look at the situation.

I was told that the staff member in question was wondering why none of us attended her weekly meeting last night.             I can only speak for me personally.         I am not the leader of a group of rejectees.              I am not mad about anything that has happened.              I still pray for you that the Lord will bless you, but for me personally.               I don't really reckon that you have anything further to be teaching me.                Nothing that Jesus would approve of you teaching anyway.

As far as forcing your students to attend an Alumni meeting on Tuesday orWednesday nights, instead of going to the church of their choice.........let me back up. The Alumni meeting that you are speaking of should be an A.A. Meeting, because of all the people that has already relapsed. I don't recall going to any A.A. Meetings the entire time that I have been there.             I do recall being set free of several forms of bondage, by the blood of Jesus!!           You can't straddle the fence.         You are going to have to make up your mind, and stick with a program.                The program of the cross worked wonderfully for me!!

I really don't understand which version of the Bible that you are getting your information from. You can't expect to have any kind of success rate going against God's word.               My friend you need to repent of your sins, and come back into the glorious light!!

I am sorry if I hurt you feeling with my truthful words.      All I can say is that the organization that you work for got started the product that you see before you now.               Actually, they didn't start anything.                   They just supplied the place for it to take place.             Jesus is the Author and Finisher of my faith!!

There ain't no wonder that I am being attacked by the demon of depression.     I am wasting my precious time, and talents trying to teach those that should have been teaching me!!     I know that everything happens in my world for a reason.       I don't know what the reason is a lot of times, but still I know it is for a good reason.

These past two weeks have been especially trying for me.      Most of the time I can isolate myself from the chaos.       However, it seems that I stay in the middle of something when I am on certain property.        I have been a performer for most of my life.       I know how to jump through the hoops.            I even know how to jump through the hoop set on fire!!             I know how to perform cute little tricks that make people wanna pitch Twinkies in my direction.          I am an awesome performer!!              One that can wear a whole suitcase full of mask.              I have the right mask to put on at the right time, to make you feel like you need to feel, and most of all to like me!!

I QUIT!!            Guess what?                              I STILL QUIT!!                 I am not performing for anybody anymore.           I set my suitcase full of masks on fire, and you are welcome to jump in it if you really want to!!                  I have a new Plan,............... a new Employer, a new Provider,............... a new way to live, …............and guess what?               I have a new Lord, Master, Friend, Father, and Spirit that don't require any performance from me!!

….........Much Love