i have a lot to say, and sometimes i look at most everything on the lighter side. most of the subjects that i deal with on a daily basis are true life threatening situations that most of have encountered in our lives, or the life's of others. nothing that i ever speak about are not life threatening situations. everyone can kill, and do everyday.
i'm a true walking, talking, breathing miracle child. it's only by God's wonderful grace that i've not died yet. i started drinking alcoholically at the age of 16. soon after i started experimenting with drugs, and i stayed at the party way too long. I've had two strokes back to back, because of smoking crack cocaine, and five years ago i wound up flat on my back having a heart attack. this year I've came down with degenerative bone disease of my spine. i'm a mental nutcase that suffers with a milder form of depression. i don't think that i could handle the full blown extreme cases that so many suffer from. my heart truly goes out to them.
the only way that i deal with these situations in my life is through humor. i'm not near the fool to believe that there is anything funny about any of these things that i talk about, including being homeless. i've just encounter every one at one time in my life, or another, and i've lived through it all, so today i'm a winner. i choose to tell this simply stories of my live with a grateful heart of knowing that i am a survivor of every one of them, and i choose it tell it as light-hearted as i can.
there is nothing funny about a person that is suffering from alcoholism. it's not even a pretty word to begin with, and it gains no respect.
there is nothing funny about a person that steals from his family to get another hit of crack cocaine. surely not knowing if your next hit will be your last, and praying to God that it will, because you can't figure out why you keep doing this to yourself.
there is nothing funny about a person that suffers from clinical depression. it's one of the rudest form of mental anguish that a person can suffer from, and it always shows up at the wrong time. it twist your soul to the point where nothing has any value left from it in your life. i've even tried to commit suicide not that long ago, and for the life of me i can't see why i would even want to? what could possible be so wrong in a man's life to make him think there is nothing worth living for anymore? now that is crazy!! thank you Lord that you didn't let me have my own way, one more time, and think you for the birds that you placed beside of my window just to sing a special song for me this morning!!
there is certainly nothing funny about being homeless. it's rare that a person chooses to live this way, but they are some that do choose this lifestyle. do you realize how many people become homeless and simply vanish of the face of this earth each year. never to be heard from again, and those that loved them are forced with the issue of not knowing? the police here in jax can only see the value in them when they lock them up, because there is government funding to help pay for that new 350,000,000 court house that the city is building. can you really see anything funny about that?
this is why i don't choose to write about this side of life. oh,........it's real alright,.........real depressing!! i had rather speak about the humorous events that have taken place in my life with coming to grips with all these deadly situation. i had rather try to spread a message of hope, and love in this cynical world that we live in today. i don't even watch the news anymore, because it's all doom and gloom. the media in this world spreads the most trash of anybody. they will take 28 minutes blowing something way out of proportion to show it in the worst way possible, and only two minutes to tell a story that warms your heart!! can you see anything wrong with this picture?
maybe my heart has become way too tender in my older years. maybe i'm trying to see a side of life that doesn't even exist. maybe i've become the man that that grandpa was. granny simple called him an old fool!! then again, maybe i enjoy being an old fool with foolish dreams of a better tomorrow in this world? yep,.........that's it,...........it's my dreams, and my hopes,............i kinda like being an old fool. hey,........why don't you try it,.............it can only make you feel better!!!
....................much love
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