It's that easy!!

It was Sunday, and I took my laptop outside to write, and comment on the beautiful fall weather that we are having in Florida. Then Monday came, and so did the coldness in the mornings. Then Tuesday hit, and hurricane Sandy did also in the extreme North East section of our country.

Meanwhile,........an earthquake struck on the west coast of Canada, and Hawaii came under a tsunami warning. Fortunately,...... it new came to fruition, but elsewhere in the world the general chaos continues to take place, on a daily basis.

Is something really going on with all this madness knocking on our very own doors? I am just a smidgen from being fifty years old, and my entire life I’ve saw people sporting signs that the end is near!!         Repent or burn!!           Jesus is coming soon!!

Honestly,......I think that people have been saying that so long now that the general population has grown cold to any effect from it. Yeah,............But,...............there is another issue at hand here,............That I would really like to address......................

What if it is coming true? What if there really is a God? What if the Bible really is the true word of God? What if He has given us plenty warning of what's going to happen? Could there really be a Heaven? If there is,.....Then I guess there could also be a real Hell,..... other than the one that we’ve made on this earth for ourselves,......Don't you think?

A lot of people don't think that that have time to fit their Creator in their lives right now. Oh no,.....He will want me to change things that I’m not willing to give up now!! I surely can't ask my baby daddy to move out of my house right now!! He will wreck my very plans for the success of my life!!

Now,......I need to be honest with y'all for a bit,........and I really need you to listen to the words that I am going to say with an open mind, and a heart that willing to accept those words if you find any value in them. OK?

Right now the One that created you is full of love, and compassion toward you. That will not always be true,.....so let's simply focus on the time at hand. Do you know that the One that created you is the wisest being that you will ever know? He is so rich that the streets of His homeland are paved with gold!! Even still with all this going on, and all the people in the world today that He really cares for,................He has singled you out to have a relationship with!!

Now,....i think that it would be an honor, and a privilege for anybody to have a relationship with a person like this......Don't you? To be called a Son, or a Daughter of royalty. How's that for a title? A Prince, or a Princess!!

I guess y'all are getting the point, so I can move on...............The great thing about this relationship is that you don't have to give up anything, or change anything to get this started. All you have to do is seek His help in your life, and ask Jesus to come into your heart, and life,............because your way ain't working to good.

Wow!!.................is that it? There has got to be more to it than this? What are you holding back on telling me?

That is my part,..........I've not held anything back from you. It really is that simple. The rest of it is between Jesus and yourself. He will ask you to give up some things. The good thing is that He never ask without having something in mind that's better to replace it with. He will ask you to do some things, but He will never send you alone. He will ask you to read the Bible, and the Holy Spirit will give you knowledge of what it means. He will also ask you to find a house that you can worship inside, and feel comfortable.

Oh,........have you noticed that I have said that He will ask you things? Do you realize that He will talk with you? It can't be a real relationship if y'all don't talk with each other. The more that you talk,......The more that He talks!!

Don't be scared, because you really don't have anything to loose, and everything that you give up will be replaced with much better!!

…..................Much Love

My Church!!

I did something in the month of June that I must say has just tickled me. I joined a church, and just not any church either. It is a pentecostal church!! I guess that I need to back up here for a minute, and add some details to make this a bona fide story. If I stop right here I’ve only shared with y'all a statement.

I guess I’ll give you the quick version, because I would rather spend your time wisely telling you about my church today. However, I must take y'all back first to a time long,....long,....long ago, to a land far,.....far,....far away.

I was seventeen years old in North Alabama. Actually,...........it was Sand Mountain where I lived, and grew up. Yep,.....that's right,.........that's where I got my training!! Hey,..........wait a minute,.........that's a different story!! back to this story!!

Honestly,....I’m having a good time telling you a tragic story that set my life on a downward spiral that I only recovered from by the grace of God, and nothing more.

I was in church one morning when the preacher gave the alter call. He kept begging, and pleading that this might be someone's last chance to get it right. That the person might be killed before the next opportunity would arise. Then finally he called out my name!!

I was shocked because I felt in my heart that me, and God was alright with our relationship. I figured that he might know something that I didn't, so I went down front. I knelt down to the alter to pray, and I felt this hand on my back. Immediately,...........cold chills shot through my body, and a great fear set upon me to the point that it took my breath!! I jumped to my feet, and ran out the back door of the church. I don't know what really happened that day, but I didn't walk into another church for five years. Once I did walk in one I was so cold that they couldn't touch me, and they didn't want to either!!

That's just the brief story,................Now on to greater day's!!

Like I said before, in June I joined Evangel Temple Assembly of God. Now,....is that a mouthful,....or what? I love this church!! I love everything about it!! Do you know what is really cool about this church? Nothing that they do flips me out, or scares me,..............and that's really saying something for me!!

Now you must remember that I said that it was a Pentecostal church. They are well known for being different. If I’m going to be honest about what I am saying, and I plan to be brutally honest. Then I must say that this church is not for everybody. The reason that I say that is because God visits us every time that the doors are open, and some folks can't handle that kind of presence.

I'm not saying anything new here. The Israelite people had a fear of the presence of God when Moses was dealing with Him on Mt. Sinai. They sent him up the mountain, and said that they would wait there until Moses returned to tell them what God had said.

We believe in healing, and have people testify all the time of being healed. They speak in tongues. I say that they do, because so far I haven’t even mumbled a word of it, but I really expect to one day. Sunday was the first time that I saw somebody “ slain in the Spirit ” in my church. Actually, I saw two people go out while the preacher had his hands on them praying.

We have an Awesome praise and worship team that leads us in singing praises. Most people in my church participate in worship, but there are those that just spectate. That was one of my prayers so I could be a part of the ones that participate. I had to get over my extreme shyness, but it was well worth it!!

We are kinda big, and support over 130 missionaries in countries all over the world. We have a Television, and internet ministry. We support a great prison ministry, and build a church every month in a foreign country. We have programs for people of all ages, inside and outside the church.

I would like to invite you to attend a church that really loves people, and supports their children. If you can't be here in Jacksonville in person then please check us out on the internet live. Maybe some of the archived sermons on the web site that I have on the top right side of my blog would lift your spirits!!

now,............i gotta go!! I just can't tell you what a difference this church is making in my life today. The real difference is God,................and He attends at the temple!!

…..........Much Love

Avenger of the ill......Were all ill

I’ve spent the last 17 months of my life in CRM ( City Rescue Mission ) in a time of healing, and reflection. Simply put,.......getting a strong hold on my Spiritual life!!

I’ve learned many things while I’ve been there. I have learned a better way to deal with people in general. How to treat them, and respect the value of their opinions. Not to discount anybody because of differences that may exist. Just because society has deemed a class called worthless, does not give me the right to lower my standards to agree with those that simply do not understand.

They call those who do not actually fit in their class misfits. They call those that do not own their own place a stain on their society............a blotch,............a spot,.................or use some other form of character assassination, because.............they simply do not understand.

They say, ( once again,........who is this.....THEY?) that most homeless people suffer from some form of mental illness. I can't help but wonder how long that the homeless have to be kicked around,....before that conclusion becomes a reality? How much does a person have to endure to set this illness in motion, or is that just the reason that they are in that shape? This is the honest truth that I’ve seen personally. Some of these folks have been so abused that they turn on each other with more verbal abuse.

Now,............I think that we have a problem here. We have one group that simply do not understand, because they have not experienced this problems first hand. They might have family, or former friends that suffer with a negative affliction, but after a while wrote those folks off because their words seem to fall on deaf ears. They can't understand why they don't make the changes that are necessary to save them the pain that they are going through.

Now, ….....there is a double problem with the other group. Once you reach out to those people with a real, working solution they do turn deaf ears toward those trying to help. They have been so abused by themselves, and others that they have drawn cold. Even the dream of ever having a real life once again puts a fear inside of them of just another let down.

The same real working solution that worked for me will work in their case as well. Actually, ….our country could use a good dose of the same medicine. We all need to look to our creator if we are ever going to have any true success. God doesn’t see things quite the way that most of us see them.

There are some of us that just do not believe in the whole God-Creator way of thinking. They think that we simply evolved in various ways, and that we are pretty much on our own. Once we die.......that's it.......over,............kurpunk,.......nothing more.

Then there are those poor souls like me that are hopeless romantic types where there has to be more to everything. We feel the need to seek out our creator in hope of finding help in a cold cruel world, because we realize our need, and great affliction to not make it by ourselves.

Can I put it as simple as I can at this time? Y'all know that empty spot that's on the inside of us? Yeah,............the one that we try to fill with all different kinds of people, drugs, alcohol, events, food, sweets,...etc. Nothing seems to satisfy that empty craving for long. We double, or triple the portion size in a vague attempt to satisfy that craving, but nothing works.

Are y'all still with me? Well,.......we have done well in realizing that something is missing from our lives, and were not complete, or whole without that missing part. Now,......i don't reckon that I’m a genus,........nor do y'all,...........but I have me a working theory on that massive hole that the wind blows through. I believe with all my heart that when were created that our Creator installed that wind tunnel inside of us. I believe He did that so that we would seek Him out, because He has the right filler to stop that cold air flow.

Now,..........that's just a little something to think about.........

…............Much Love

Epiphany?

a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something (2): an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking (3): an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure

                        What I've learned...............finally!!

If something appears to be one way,..............................and it stays that same exact way, or get's better over time........in the background is God at work.

I'm totally amazed to see God working out a thing in the lives of His people. Knowing if He wanted to,... a matter could change in an instant. Being who the Father is just naturally makes His workings very impressive. No one is capable of the style and charm of our Father!!

I'm sure that you can say that I'm severely biased, and I will simply agree with you with a smile a crossed my face. A smile as wide as a country mile!! Something has changed in my life that brings great joy to my heart. I really can't remember a time in my life when I didn't claim to know Jesus Christ,......... but there is a difference between knowing about,...................and having a relationship with!! The latter is an awesome way to live.

I am amazed at the way people rebel at the very thought that there might be a God. However, I spent years living in total rebellion to a fact that I knew deep down in my heart existed. I was sure and quite convinced that God did exist, and is in control. I know that in these times it seems that nothing, nor nobody is in control. The entire world is in utter chaos, and every day we hear of another senseless tragedy that has taken place.

We hear the common phrase, ( where is God while this was going on? ) the glorious reality is the fact that God is in the same place that He was when His Son,..............Jesus Christ was hung on a cross.

You know,...................I will not act like I know everything about the Father. I surely don't know why He set up everything the way that it is. I've thought quite often, and wondered,...............why? Why is this a certain way, and not the way that I would have chosen for it to be? Didn't God realize that my way would be a much easier, and simple plan for life?

Yeah,.................that's right,..............I have even in my foolish state of being thought that I could have done somethings better than God!! Now,..........How ridiculous is that? I was in a serious need to discover who God is, and I needed to do it quick!!

I know that I might sound like a fool to some folks, but I’m doing something that I've never did before in my life. I'm having a real, honest to goodness relationship with my Creator!! I'm getting to know the person of Jesus Christ, and God the Father. To my surprise there is another in the mix, and His name is Holy Spirit!!

Yeah,..............Yeah,.................Yeah,..............I can imagine what you are thinking,................but do you really know Him for who He really is? Most of my life I've been guilty of a travesty. I seen Holy Spirit not as the person that He is,...... but,......... as a thing, or just another fact. Maybe I've saw Him as,....just the way that it is. I'm not sure how I really saw Holy Spirit, but I do know this,................I saw Him all wrong.

…...................Much Love

one step forward........then turn and run!!

I really want to thank my friend Bubba. He went to bat for me, and gave me a place to stay when I didn't have one. The fact that we were battling our own set of different demons didn't help matters one bit!! I must admit that there were some really strange phenomenon going on in both our lives. I wrote about the events as they were happening. If your not familiar with what I am saying; I would like to invite you to go back and read up on it. Then you will see what I am talking about.

Here is the strange thing: I believed in God...............i believed that He did exist,.......................i believed that He was the creator of everything in this world, and beyond,......................and strangely,...............i some how knew that He was calling me out to get to know Him.............which I had no idea who He really was. I had spent my life thinking that I knew who He was, but that was only who others thought that He was.

My life had become maddening in the most chaotic form possible. I was truly standing in a crossroad with every path blocked but one. I had learned that my life didn't belong to me, so I couldn't take it. I was out of the options that I desired, and scared,.............really scared,.............really, really, scared,.........i was scared to go either direction!!

When Bubba had ask me to come and stay with him.............i had already made my mind up to check into the city rescue mission. They have a program where they teach the men about Father God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit. I knew that I needed to go into this thing with an open mind, because I need to find out who this God was, and what He was about.

Instead I went the other direction,................and reaped the hell for doing so!!

It was the month of October, and I lasted in total madness until May. Life had become far too miserable for me to tolerate living this way any longer. I explained to Bubba what my plan was, and gave him an open invitation to come with me. Neither one of us had any hope left of living a productive life, as far as I could see. Bubba declined my offer, and I didn't press the issue.

I was a dead man on the inside. I had no reason left to live, and I certainty didn't care to stay in a mission, little lone live there. I was heading into the unknown................a place that I had never been before,..................a tear actually rolled down my face, as I waited on the bus. Somehow,...........i knew that my life would never be the same,...............................but I wasn't sure how?

….........much love

The ugly truth.......life in the sewer!!

Man,................I’m telling you that coming clean with myself can be a painful event. Little lone coming clean in front of the entire world. I reckon now is as good a time as any, and right now I really have no fear of being honest. Now,.........it has been said that the truth will set me free, and this is nothing but the truth.

Downward Spiral....

Do y'all know what a downward spiral is? It's kinda like the snowball effect except this takes place in the toilet. All it takes to push the proverbial handle is any act of dishonesty, and if not stopped it builds up speed going down until it reaches the sewer. The really sad part is that it doesn't end when you reach the sewer. Some of us has grown fond of the sewer life, and adapted to it quite well,...............or think we have!! Anyway this is where I have been, and I got there by deceiving myself, or rather allowing myself to be deceived. Actually, both fit well. Either way that you look at it doesn’t change the smell one bit. It stinks, and is rotten to the core!

The most amazing thing about my story is that it started a few years ago. The deeper I got into it, the more rebellious I became, and tried to enjoy my sewer life. I can't give you expletive details, because it would cause harm to others. I do not, and will not ever have the right to share when I know that others will be affected by my choice.

The ugly truth is that I had an adulterous affair with a friend. I have no excuse for doing it. I knew better to begin with. You know that little voice in your head that cautions you when your about to do wrong......................i heard it loud and clear, and as it was getting louder..................i yelled out, “ I got this!!”

Everything got Silent........

This feeling that came upon me was like one I have never felt before. It seemed like a dark cloud was hovering above my head. There was utter silence in my head where the chaotic chatter was just seconds ago. I knew that I had really screwed up to the point that my heart was just breaking, but my pride had me so that I couldn't do the right thing.....................I was in trouble,.............real trouble!!

That was just the beginning of sorrows. Before long my back became unbearably painful when I moved. I lost my job, because I couldn't work. After I had begged every agency in town to pay my rent I ran out of options, and became homeless again.

I packed two bags, and left riding on my bicycle. I walked out leaving everything else behind. With in a few days,...............all I had left were a few clothes.

I saw the bright white light........

Then my failed attempt to commit suicide was over-whelming for me. I was very angry when I woke up the next morning. I had gone as far as seeing the bright white light that so many have claimed to have seen at the point of death. I knew what had went wrong the second that I woke up..............my creator would not release His grip on me, and I was furious!!

to be continued...................

…...........much love

What in the heck............

Do y'all ever just simply amaze yourselves? That's what I’m doing right now, and I’m not sure why. I have the greatest story of my life,.........so far,........to tell you, and I’m lolly-gagging around trying to make it perfect. The truth is that this story is perfect all by itself. The only thing that it needs is to be told.

I've have been writing stories for a few weeks now, and the problem is that I’ve not finished one of them yet!! I must admit that they seem like they would be very good, interesting stories, but,................(Why is there always a but in the way of progress?)..............everyone of them take away from the effect that I hope to achieve.

I have decided the best approach would be just to start back at the beginning, and work my way forward a little at a time. That way I can take my time, and not lose any effect.

This little blog has always been about my life, and trying to warn my readers not to take the same route that I have taken. I've even tried to convince myself while smoking pot that it was good for me, and that God was certainly alright with it. After all it was a natural plant............right?

Er,...........(cough, cough)..........yep,............that's right,.................i will address that in greater detail at a latter time. Now,.......I’m not saying that anything is bad for y'all. All I’m saying is that I’ve done a lot of things that was really bad for me, and I’m preparing to tell my story the exact way that it unfolded. I'm not fit to judge anybody, because I am guilty of way too much to sort out the difference.

Well,................i reckon that we need to get started soon. Before we do,..............you might want to fix you a glass of coke,( a glass of coke in Bama is any kind of carbonated soda, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Etc) or a cup of coffee, or what ever your choice of drink might be.

….....................Much Love

coming soon!!!

Yep,..............That's right,.........................Mr. Illusion of Confusion will be making his way back to an internet provider near you, and world wide!!

Now,...............I reckon that I need to do a few things before I actually get back into the swing of fill'n y'alls head with my country way of seeing things.

I'm really excited about what has been going on in my life since I disappeared a little under two years ago. I will explain what has “really been going on,” and give you some detailed information.

I figure it might take me two, or three weeks more to change some of the layout of my blog page. Which during this time you are welcome to view the changes as they take place. This blog has been my heart. The good thing is that my heart has changed for the better. I really need to change out some pictures that some might find racy or offensive. I believe that the whole Obama pictures, and my hatred for him was totally uncalled for, and shows bad character on my part. I need to apologize to anybody that might have been offended.

Now,..............that being said,................i still don't really care for the man, or his brand of politics any more than I did his first year in office. Although,..............I am an American, and he was voted in office by the American People of this country..................nuff said!!

…....................Much Love