Lil' bout Father

As Christians we know, or should know, that the only acceptable sacrifice for our sin, was a blood offering. This is the way Father designed, and required that a plan of redemption, could take place. I have often battled with the idea of, couldn't He have made it different, or easier?     Why the idea of blood?        You know,.....That seems to be kind of a gross way to be acting....Why the blood?

Since we were born into sin, our blood was not even fit, for any sacrifice. It had to be pure, sinless blood. Father is not a half-stepper, on anything that He does.    He is perfection, at it's finest, and He demands perfection, in a sacrifice.       Father is Holy, in every form of the word.     I can't ever stress how perfect, and Holy, and Wonderful, that Father really is!!

His love for us is so enduring, unlike any form of love, that we have ever experienced, outside of His realm.       All that He really wants is for us to love Him, and have a relationship with Him. Father gets great joy every time that we come to Him.      It doesn't matter if it's to praise Him, or ask something of Him.      Father wants us to realize who He really is, and allow Him the privilege, of being our Father!!

Time, and time, after time, in the Word of God, Father is relaying that message to His children. That is why He created us.      We were created to worship Father, and because we do worship Him; He steps in His rightful place as our Father!!      We will never be able to out give Father.    When we offer a sacrifice to Him, whether it be praise, or a song, or a prayer, or any other small sacrifice. Father takes note of our actions towards Himself, and rewards us in the way that He chooses.

All that we are required to do, in this relationship, is put Father first, in all we do.    The times haven't changed all that much.    Father has not changed at all!!     We are to stay as little children, in our relationship with Father.     We are to stay dependent on Him.     We are to offer Him our absolute best, as children offer their best to their parents.

Have you ever saw a child, take a picture that they have drawn to their mother. It might not be anything that mom can recognize, as being anything, that she has ever saw before. The child is simply thrilled to pass this work of art, on to the mother. Most of the time mother picks the child up, and places them on her lap. They talk about what the picture is, while sharing their love for each other. They hug, and kiss, and tell each other how great that they are, as their bond has grown a little closer!!

Do you have any idea, where that love that a mother has for her child came from?    Father put that type of love in the mother, when she herself, was a little girl.    You should know that, if a mother, can love her babies, in that kind of way, then Father loves us so much more!!     That is why He sent Jesus.

Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of the Father, was sent as the perfect sacrifice, for our sins. Father sent us the best that He possessed. There was no other option, beside wiping all creation out, and starting fresh once again.      Don't you realize ,why this was not a valid option, to Father, at the time?      We were not strangers, in the beginning.     Father knew us before the foundation of the world.         He created all this, just for His children to learn how, to love Father!!

Do you realize what a waste of life, it would be, not to accept the more than gracious offer, that is before us?      Father created us, and we can't change the rules, that He provided already for us. He has even given us the opportunity to choose between two options.      They really are simple choices,but often difficult to make, at certain times in our lives.

Father ever told us that the right choice, was to choose, the way of life.     Some people think that, if they choose death, then that is all that they will get.     They will simply be gone, as if they never were to begin with.      There is a slight problem with that theory.     We are created to be eternal beings.        We are going to being living in some form forever, in some place.

Hell was not even created for human beings.       It was created for Satan, and the fallen angels to occupy.        Father would never send us to hell.        He leaves that choice up to us......

I will write on what I started to write later. “Why the blood?” Something more pressing came up instead.

…..........Much Love

Good Friday

They call today, Good Friday. The only thing good about this day, is the fact that Jesus paid the price, for our redemption. Jesus done for us, the very act, that we could not do, for ourselves!! Actually, our Savior, allowed Himself to endure, the utter chaotic treatment, that He received, even before going to the cross!!

The King of Heaven. The King of Glory. The King of all Hope, and the Deliverer of our Salvation. Standing before the mere mortal men, that He had Created, being judged before them, for false accusations. Yet, He chose to stand in almost complete silence. He at one time gave glory to Father, during His conversation with Pontius Pilate. He quickly let Pilate know that the only power that he actually possessed, had been granted to him by Father!!

I believe all Heaven had gathered around Father, while the trial of Jesus was taking place. Jesus had been in Heaven, this entire time, before He left for earth, on The mission to redeem Father's children. The way that they spoke to Jesus was alarming, to the residence of heaven. I can't say for sure, but I will assume this; The moment a mortal man laid his hands, on the Prince of Peace, all eyes were on Father. They were awaiting a Word to come to the rescue of Jesus!!

All of heaven, had never even considered the possibility, of such a thing happening, little lone actually viewing such a horrific ordeal!! They were simply appalled, beyond all belief. They had always known the Son of God, up close, and very personal. They would have given their own life's, in the defense of Jesus. Father sit there showing no emotion as the abuse started, and the Angels were confused.

The Lamb of God suffered severe humiliation, in His treatment from the humans this day. He was slapped in the face repeatedly, and spat on relentlessly. He had a crown of thorns placed on His head, and was shoved around between the guards, while they took turns punching Him. They took a cat of nine tails, and beat Jesus almost to death.

Jesus more resembled a pile of ground beef, than that of a man. His body was swollen, from all the abuse that He had endured. The cat of nine left Him nothing more, than a bloody pulp, of unrecognizable flesh at best. Jesus' friends, family, and disciples, stood by from a distance watching, as this scene unfolded, before their eyes. They were astonished, at the act of violence, that was placed on the man, that they had grown to love, with their whole heart.

The worst was yet to come. Jesus Christ was about to make His last journey, on this day, under His own power. They strapped the cross to His body, and was forcing Him to carry it to the point that it would be His demise. They had beaten Jesus to the point, that He fell several times on the way. They finally realized that He was not going to make it to the hill of Golgotha on His own. They appointed another man to help carry the cross of Calvary.

Once Jesus arrived at the place, that He knew that His life would be freely given, as the sacrifice of the sins of the world. They drove spikes into His hands, and feet, securing Jesus to the cross. Then they raised His badly tortured body, in the air for all to see. During this time He was taunted, railed, cussed, blasphemed, laughed at, spat upon, while hanging stripped naked of clothes. Wearing nothing but humiliation.

I posted what it was like for Jesus to be crucified yesterday. At least, the medical aspect side of crucifixion. This was one of the most horrible ways, that a person could ever suffer death. Knowing this from the beginning, why did Jesus take on this mission? I have thought many times, that there had to be an easier softer way, to accomplish this task. Why wasn't the road to our redemption paved a lot smoother, with much less pain involved?

The answer to these questions is fairly simple. It was all about Father. Father created this world to house us. We are what Father considers the greatest creation that He ever created!! He loves us so much, that He not only allowed, Jesus to sacrifice His sinless, pure, blood for the atonement for our sins. In the book of Isaiah it says that it pleased Father to bruise, and put Jesus to grief!!

God is love!! Love requires a sacrifice!! Jesus made the sacrifice for us!! The only requirement that we need to make now, is simply accept the Grace that Jesus Christ has provided for us. If we choose not to accept what has already been done for us..........

 

            ......Much Love

Medical Aspects of the Crucifixion by R. P. Kloepper II, M.D.

Posted by JN Anderson at Thursday, September 29, 2011

The Romans copied the art of crucifixion from Carthage. The cross was not as we usually see depicted in drawings and paintings. It was composed of two separate pieces. The stipes, the vertical portion, was permanently affixed in the ground and was used many times. It was about six feet in height which allowed the wild animals to devour the corpses of the crucified men. The horizontal portion, named patibulum, was the beam the condemned man carried. There were two common types of crosses. There was the kind which we usually envision (+) and another where the patibulum could fit into a mortis atop the stipes to form a cross in the shape of the Greek capital letter Tau (T).

This form of Capital punishment was meant to deter crime. A sign was carried before the condemned man and placed on his cross. Jesus' inscription, written in Greek, Latin, and Hebrew, read, "Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews." After Jesus' appearances before Pilate and Herod, He and two other prisoners were readied for the journey to Golgotha. In deference to Jewish custom, Jesus was allowed to be clothed. The patibulum was of rough cypress wood, approximately six feet in length, and weighed twenty five to thirty pounds. The method of carrying it was fairly constant.

Jesus' hands were bound, the patibulum placed on His right shoulder, and the bound hands draped over the anterior portion of the beam with the shoulder serving as the fulcrum. The centurion was worried about Jesus' obviously weakened condition. Christ stumbled several times. As He fell forward, the end of the patibulum struck the ground first, then His knees and elbows. Blood flowed. The rough cypress wood tore at His face. The piece of wood balanced momentarily and then fell across His back reopening the wounds of His scourging. The centurion was displeased. This was to be an orderly Roman execution. The condemned men should be dead by the sabbath. However, He should die on the cross, not on the way to His crucifixion. A North African, Simon of Cyrene, was commanded to carry the cross of Jesus. The pathetic parade moved forward. It was six hundred and fifty yards from Antonio, Pilate's residence, to Golgotha.

The society of charitable women were present when they arrived at the hill. These women assisted poor families in Jerusalem during death,gave gifts at weddings, etc. They offered those about to be executed a drink of wine mixed with myrrh or incense. Some question the analgesic properties of the mixture; however, this was its intended use, to dull the pain. Christ would not drink. He desired to feel the fullness of His suffering, He flinched when His robe was removed for the blood from His beating had caused it to be "scabbed" to his back. The feeling was that of ripping a dressing from a tender wound.

Dr. Pierre Barbet studied crucifixion and did a lot of experimental work with amputated arms and bodies of deceased. As a result of his research, He clearly demonstrated that nails in the palms of the hands will not support the weight of a man when he is suspended. There is adequate anatomical explanation for this since there are no strong horizontal structures in the hands. This of course, would be unsatisfactory for crucifixion. Yet, He was consistently able to drive large nails between the carpal bones of the wrist with radiographic proof of no resulting fractures. There is a natural passageway there between the bones. (See Psalms 34:20, John 19:31-36.) This location is considered to be a part of the hand and for it to be used brought no contradiction of scripture. This placements of nails will adequately suspend a man's weight. So, it was probably this spot that was used by the Roman executioner.

It was about 9:00 a.m. when Simon placed the patibulum on the ground. Jesus was thrown down on top of it striking His head and driving the thorns still deeper. The Roman executioner wore a leather apron which carried five inch spikes. He was adept at his work and soon Jesus was nailed to the patibulum. The wooden beam with the full weight of Christ's body suspended from the nails was lifted by the soldiers and dropped into place in the mortis atop the standing vertical portion of the cross. His knees were flexed and His right foot placed over His left. A spike was driven into the soft tissues between the metatarsal bones of His feet.

He was now suspended on the cross. His arms formed a "V" as His body sagged, and His entire body weight was supported by the nails. He soon became aware of excruciating pain in His arms. The median nerve, which supplies motor function to the flexor muscles of the hand, was stretched tautly over the nails in His wrists. It was partially severed. Each time he moved it was like a bow being dragged across the string of a violin pouring forth a strong chord of agonizing pain.

Think about it, raw nerve against rough steel! Tetanic spasms developed in the muscles of His hands and marched up His arms to the pectoralis muscles of His chest. These muscles of the anterior chest wall are accessory muscles of respiration. They assist forceful inspiration by elevating the rib cage. When these muscles contracted in spasm, it was impossible to exhale. Only small volumes of air could be inhaled. There was inadequate oxygenation, and the carbon dioxide level in the blood increased fairly rapidly. To relieve the muscle spasm and the panicky feeling of shortness of breath, Jesus pushed Himself up the cross and transferred His weight to the nail in His feet. The spasm disappeared, and He was able to breathe more easily.

However, After a short while, leg muscle spasms and the unbearable pain of supporting His full weight on the nail in His feet forced Him to slide back down the cross and once again suspend himself from the nails in His hands. The rough cypress wood clawed at the open wounds on His back as He moved up and down the cross. In the darkness, the insects buzzed around His matted beard and settled on His blood smeared face. They laid their eggs in puss filled wounds. He was helpless to ward them off. Yes, there was nothing pretty about Calvary. The agonizing cycle was repeated again and again as the soldiers beneath Him gambled for His robe. Finally, about 3:00 p.m. He commended His spirit. The earth trembled, and the veil in the temple was rent in twain.

Some crucified men lived as long as two days. Since it was meant to deter crime, the spectacle was no longer useful when the crowds dispersed after several hours. The usual method of death after crucifixion was asphyxiation. When the condemned man no longer had the strength to raise himself on the cross, he soon died from inadequate respiration produced by the chest muscle spasms. The Romans broke the femurs, the large thigh bones, to hasten death. With the broken legs, a man could no longer raise himself on the cross. He soon asphyxiated.

Jesus lived only six hours on the cross. Why? John gave us a clue when he recorded that after the Roman soldier pierced Jesus' side to insure death, blood and water came forth. The cross was six feet in height, A raised spear would enter the chest cavity; only blood from the heart should exit the wound. What was the water? The pericardium is a membrane that surrounds the heart. It is known that fluid can collect in the space between the heart and the pericardium after a non-penetrating blow to the chest (postcardiac-injury syndrome). If this effusion is large enough, cardiac tamponade can occur. This means the heart is constricted and is no longer an effective pumper of blood.

Congestive heart failure and pulmonary edema develop. One's breathing becomes labored as the lungs fill with fluid. Jesus' breathing difficulty described previously was compounded by this condition. This helps to explain His short time on the cross. The pain associated with traumatic pericarditis is torturous. After His death, we have another insight into a segment of His suffering. His heart was broken for me.

That is how Jesus purchased our salvation.

A huge chasm existed at Calvary between the benevolence of God and the gratitude of mankind. God had no guarantee there would be any human response to this supreme act, The Roman centurion may grasp a small segment of the magnitude of the situation and exclaim, "Truly this was the Son of God." Joseph of Arimathea may feel a twinge of guilt and beg for the body of Christ, but what would be the reaction of the human race? God could only hope that in the future someone would catch a glimpse of the unprecedented love exhibited at Calvary and return that love with the devotion of his life. I hope this article helps to bridge the gulf between God's benevolence and each reader's gratitude. I trust it produces a large increase in gratefulness for what was accomplished on a hill called Golgotha.

 

          ...........Much Love

THE RESURRECTION

THE RESURRECTION

We hold so close to our hearts
The cross where Jesus died
But so much more than the blood-stained cross
Is that Jesus came back to life

The stone's been rolled away
The tomb lay open and bare
They looked for Him, and then the angel said
That He is no longer here

Oh what joy they must have felt
To see Him just once more
To eat with Him, to drink with Him
To receive Him back as Lord

So much did He accomplish
Through His death upon the cross
And in His rising from the dead
He reconciled us back to God

Nothing else could bridge the gap
That sin had wrenched apart
Now we can freely go to God
And receive Christ in our hearts

© By M.S.Lowndes

 

Was Jesus guilty of partying?

Have you ever just took the time to see, who the person of Jesus Christ, really was?    Maybe you like myself, and simply take at face value that He was, and that is good enough at the time. Jesus had His ministry for only three short years. In that time, He brought with life, a radical change, and a radically new way of thinking, and seeing the life that we have been given. He was quite bold in His approach. He introduced us to the Father, and the true ways of the Father.     He even stated that the Father, and Himself was one!!      That cause much more than a stink with the current leaders.

Jesus knew, that He was about to give His life, as a ransom for our sins. He knew of the beating that He would get, before they nailed His body on the cross. He was in human form. Jesus could feel all the pain that He would receive, because of the severe cruelty of the Romans, and the cross. This had to be a very stressful time for Jesus. The time was drawing nearer and nearer, as each day passed.

Six days before the start of the Jewish celebration of Passover, Jesus went to the town of Bethany. I don't know much about the Jewish culture, but the Passover was a celebration of the Exodus of Egypt. God had freed them from the control of the Egyptian Pharaohs, after being in bondage to them, for roughly four hundred years. The Passover celebration would be held in Jerusalem, so why do you think that Jesus went to Bethany six days prior to the celebration?

This is very cool, and can be verified in the book of John, chapter 12.    He wanted to spend time, with the ones in which was His closest friends. Lazarus was a resident of Bethany. Lazarus and Jesus had a very special relationship, and it grew even stronger after he died, and Jesus gave him life again. Lazarus had actually been in the tomb three days, when Jesus called him out. I don't know if he hopped out, or floated out, because he was still all wrapped up in linen. I do know that once Jesus called him out, that was the turning point.           Death had to release it hold on Lazarus, and Lazarus had to come out of that tomb somehow!!

That is where Jesus went to stay, was at the home of Lazarus. Mary, and Martha was also living there, because they were the sisters of Lazarus. These were Jesus' closest friend, and He choose to spend time with them, because He loved them. By reading the Word, it sounded like they had a little celebration party, and the guest of honor was Jesus.

A supper meal was prepare in Jesus' honor, and of coarse Martha served the food. I believe Martha was having a time breaking the old habits, of being busy, in the presence of Jesus. Mary is still doing the same also. She is sitting at the feet of Jesus. She has broke out some very fragrant oil, and costly as well. She is anointing the feet of Jesus with the oil, and drying Jesus' feet off with her hair!!

I need to interject here. I can't see no greater way, that these two women could show love, and worship Jesus. Martha is making sure that his food is just the way that Jesus liked to eat it. Her mission is to make sure that he has the proper utensils to eat with, and His cup doesn't run dry. As far as I can tell there are thirteen men sitting at this table with Jesus. Twelve disciples, and Lazarus, so Martha really had her hands full.

Mary was doing what I would call a supreme service of worship. She is humbled herself at the feet of Jesus. She is pouring the expensive oil, on the feet of Jesus, and working it in His feet, with her hands. Then as the air has been filled with the essence of aroma from the ointment, Mary does something radical. She dries the excess of oil, from the feet of Jesus, with her hair! 

We have all this going on, and a killjoy is about to speak up. Judas has been sitting in silence watching this take place, till he could no longer contain his words. He started ragging on Mary, for not selling the oil, to give to the poor. We all know that Judas didn't care anything about the poor. All he cared about was getting that money, in the bag that he was holding.

Jesus rebuked him sharply, “ Leave her alone!! Mary has had that oil prepared for me, for the event of my death.” I love Jesus, and the way that He really is. I can't wait until the day that I can see Him face to face!!

I believe the massage here should be, that we need our friends.     We need to have relationships, with each other.      Sharing, and loving, and spending time with each other.     We need to learn to love.      Some of us need to learn to receive love also.     The real deal is when we go to the point of our final destination.    No matter which direction that we go.     None of us, are going to take anything, that we have required on this earth with us. I     f we are planning to make heaven our home, we might as well start learning how to love right now.       Once that we are living with Jesus, there will be no hatred or strife.       Only peace, love, and harmony!!

….......Much Love

Test?......We no need no Stinkin' test man!!

Why me Oh Lord?        Do y'all ever feel like that in a situation?      What now Father!?     What else can go wrong!?        Why me Jesus?         What have I done wrong now?

Honestly, when I get this way I should realize that a major test is in progress.    I sure enough went through one this weekend.      It consisted of my move out plan being smashed to bits!!

My buddy had told me, that he was going to bless me, with a few things to make my move smoother. I was very naive concerning this situation, and gladly accepted his offer. This plan was made a couple months ago. I was expecting a microwave oven, and a mini refrigerator. Plus, I had done some work for him, and told him just to hold on to the money. I planned to pay my deposit, and firsts month with that cash.

We talked last Friday about the cash situation, because the time was here to pay the bills. He told me that he would get the money from the bank, and give it to me later in the day. A couple hours later he was saying that it would need to be Saturday morning, because of difficulties unforeseen. I confessed that I really didn't have to have it in my hand until Monday morning. I told my friend that it had to happen by then, and he assured me there would be no problem.

I went over to McDuff Monday morning at six A.M. He stated acting funny when he first saw me. He immediately pulled me to the side, and was explaining the fact that his wife had wrote a check that he was unaware of, and it needed to clear. He promised me that the money would be in my hand by noon at the latest.

He could tell by the look that I gave him that it was over. There wasn't a word that he could say, that I would believe now. He said that he needed to run home, and see if he could speed the process up any, when I told him that I was swapping my give back day to this day. I wasn't dressed for this, but I was not going to let his dishonest behavior deter myself.

He stayed gone for two hours, and move the time on up until three. I tried to stay, and act like I wasn't affected by what was going on. I was simply not man enough to act like everything was alright, but for an hour later. I had reached my boiling point, and need to get out from his presence. He had known that my new place to live, and my security had been placed in his hands. My dreams had just crashed before both of our eyes!!

He was trying his best to avoid me, for that other hour. I was boiling mad, and everything that I touched turn south on me. I had gotten mud on me from head to toe, and my new white Adidas’s were also covered with mud. I went and picked up my bag as I was heading for the door. It was way early to leave, but I simply had to go. He was on the far end of the dining room, when I was walking out of the kitchen.

He motioned a goodbye wave at me with the look of relief all over his face. I yelled for him to call me when we were straight once again. He silently nodded, and I walked out the door. All I could see was me living on the street, when I was so close.       You ever get shaking mad?      You know you are the product of needing anger management, when a person gets like that!!

I was on the phone with another of my buddies that I attend church with asking for a loan. I told him if he had it to spare, and trusted me enough to loan the money to me, that I would really appreciate him doing it for me. His answer was a great one. I need to pray about it he said. Although, I had no idea what his answer would be, I appreciated him bring what was our issue now, before the throne.

I really can't tell you how many hours that I was purely miserable with a sickness yesterday, from worry and grief.      Every emotion surfaced inside my body, and mind.      Everything I touched, became a complete mess.   The worst thing was the fact that I was no longer comfortable in my own skin.      I couldn't stay in one place long enough to calm down.     I was a mess!!

I finally reached the crossroads of sanity, and insane behavior.     I had to make a choice quickly.  I went to talking to Father.     I said, if You want me on the streets just tell me.     I will go right now. I can stand being like this anymore.      I put you in charge of this move, and my buddy was going to make it easier for me to do it.        You are still in charge, and I just surrender!!     I can not be a weapon of harvesting hatred toward my friend.      No matter what he is doing wrong, or not doing wrong.         I am going to love him like nothing has happened, because it is not that big of a deal.            You are my God, and in total control of my life!!

Wham!!             That is all that it took.             My heart expanded, as the peace that passes all understanding filled it back up once again.      I was no longer angry about anything that the day had dumped on my doorstep.       I went back around to my other comrades that I had been bad mouthing to about the situation.        I told them that it really didn't matter.       That I had forgave him of any wrong that I had considered that he was guilty of doing.

Less than an hour later my other friend called back to say that he was less than ten minutes away. He was bringing my loan to me.     He told me not to get in a hurry to pay it back.     Wait until I could afford to pay it back.

I went and paid my deposit, and first months rent this morning.     The power of forgiveness is awesome both ways.      I forgave my buddy, and those folks where I am moving, forgave me for not making the time that we had agreed on.      I learned a great lesson yesterday about Father. When a person places something of great importance in His hands, He never drops it.       That is why we walk by faith, and not by sight....

…....Much Love

Just how great is our God?

I am always amazed at how good God is to me!! I often wonder why, He let's me go through the tough stuff. I think that He wants to hear me ask for His help. I always do ask to, and you can be guaranteed of that little fact. I need to simply, give a report of praise, on how good Father is to me!!

Well,........Remember the other day, when I ask for prayer, on an unfavorable report from the Doctor? I received two letters, in two consecutive days, from the department of health last week. The same woman was asking me to contact her, as soon as possible, of an urgent matter concerning myself. I tried to think of the last time that I had any dealing with them, to get a clue to what the problem might be.

I was confused, because the last time that they administered a tuberculous test on me had been several months prior to receiving the letters. I really could not pinpoint the actual time, because it had been so long. I called this lady a few times, and all I got was an answering machine. I don't do well with machines, so I didn't leave a message. I kept trying though, and I finally talked with her in person.

She ever so calmly told me that my last test that I had taken, had returned positive. She also said, that I need to come in to the department in person, and get checked out really good, so they could set me up on a treatment plan. I am not a Doctor, but I knew that I didn't have tuberculous. I knew that Father hadn't brought me all this way, to drop me on my head. I rebuked that thought in the name of Jesus!!

She acted like it was a big pressing deal, and even offered to send a ride to my residence. I told her that I would get my own way there, without a hassle. I questioned why it took them at least six months to tell me, if I was positive. He first reply was, that they had been short handed. The second was the fact that they have a hard time finding, those that are positive.

The day that I agreed on was this morning. When I got there the treatment that I received was less than comfortable. They would look at me, and whisper among themselves. Every now, and then, I could pull a he, or him, out of their whispering. I felt like I had this killer disease like the one in the movie breakout!!

They finally escorted me over the the other building. There they proceeded to drill me with questions. I really must have been doing such an excellent job on the questions, because my little sweet questioner was acting uneasy. She said that if I would walk back into the waiting room, that I would be next to see the Doctor, after I had received my chest x ray.

I knew that I was playing the part of a puppet, and they were holding the strings!! I barely got my rear end settled in the chair, when they called me back in the little room. They said that they had a few more questions. This other lady stated that the last record that they had of me, was back in August 2012. I think that was right, but I could say for sure. It sounds good to me I said. That was the last time that I was tested.

She said, that they are trying to figure out why, that I had been summoned there, under these pretenses. Then she started questioning who, what, when, and how the details got to me. I explained to her what I knew, and she thanked me for coming in today. She gave me a new tuberculous test, while explaining to me, about the fact that my last test was negative. She said that I had been called out under false evidence, and they need to know where it had stemmed from.

She apologized for the whole departments wrong, while I was sitting there grinning from ear to ear!! I was excited because it didn't matter to me what she was saying. Nor what wrong that they think that they have done to me. In my heart, I knew that Father had been in that situation, protecting me, from yet another attack, from Satan, on my livelihood.

….......Much Love

Stop slapping the face of God!!

OK....I am not playing, or fiddling around here on this one. I am going simply going to cut to the chase. I love this county that I live in. It is called America the beautiful. It is also called, One nation under God!! On every amount of United States currency, that we have in this nation. Coin and bills alike, are stamped with the phrase, “In God we trust.”

I am really sad to say that we have become a nation of lairs. We are trying our best to wiggle, out from under the protection of God. We no longer trust in Him, because His ways are no longer fun, in this fast paced world that we live in today. We no longer need His way as our base, because we really don't need Him any longer. We can do almost everything that He ever did without Him!!

He is no longer welcome in our public school system. We can no longer pray to Him at school, or sporting events. He is no longer welcome in our judicial systems. The truth of the matter is that there are churches in America, that Father isn't even welcome in. I feel silly just saying that. I wonder how He feels?

This country was founded on the mighty principals of God. Our heritage came from England. Our ancestors fled to a new land to worship their God, and founded this country, on religious freedoms. God has blessed, and highly favored the United States of America, from our obedience toward Him. Still now, we as a nation, are rearing back our hands toward Father, to slap His face, yet another time!!

It is called Proposition 8, and if it is passed it will allow gay people to be bound legally in marriage. Several of our states already recognize gay marriage, and this would push it nation wide. I for one still cares about what Father thinks, and has said, in His word. A homosexual is nothing more that being in totally rebellion against God. Father didn't have anything good to say about this situation at all!!

As far as I can tell, they are a bunch of radicals, that want everybody else to be like them. Let me pose this question to anybody that would like to answer. If we were all homosexual, how would the earth got populated?                        Case closed!!

If you are a citizen of this nation, please make some noise about this notorious ordeal. If you are one of my readers from another country: Please pray that we honor God with our decision.          It's really time to stop slapping God in His face, because there will be a time, that He will start slapping back!!

….........Much Love

Hosanna....

Good morning!!     I mean that literally.     I have been awake a little before one A.M. this morning. There is a lot of excitement stored up on the of inside of me this week.     There is a change coming, and I can feel it!!     This is Easter week.     This is the time that Jesus made His triumphal entry into Jerusalem.      He rode in on a young colt donkey.     Imagine that...Huh?      The king of the entire universe riding to His death on a donkey!!

The people laid down their clothes, and cut branch's from off the trees, and laid them down in His path. They started shouting, Hosanna, Hosanna. Blessed be He who comes in the name of the Lord!! A lot of things happened in these few day's, but I will only be concentrating on a few, at this time.

I really like this part.     The part where Jesus was getting Soul sick, because of the disrespect that was being shown to Father.     I imagine all the people of that time, had never seen anything, come out from Jesus, but His calm mild mannerisms.       That day He blasted through the temple like a wild man, over-turning the tables, setting all the animals loose from their cages.      I sure bet that was a sight to see!!

Jesus said, that they had turned turned a house of prayer into a den of thieves!!    He wasn't concerned with who was hearing His rant.      I would image that He said a little more than what our Word states.    He was heavily burdened at this time.        As He looked around at all the foolishness, and mockery being made for personal gain.         Don't you imagine that it was breaking His heart?

Come on now.       Let's take a moment to get real...OK?        Jesus knew what the mission that He came down to earth to full fill totally consisted of, because He was not deceived.       Jesus was just as vulnerable to pain as you, and I are.       I honestly could not have gave my life, for the salvation of the world.       The way the people were acting, then or now.     I would have went back to Father, and given an honest report. “It is not worth it.       They simply don't care!!”

I can tell you that my attitude would not have even allowed me to see the cross.     The first one that even thought, about laying a hand on me, of causing any ill intent toward myself.       They would be melting inside their own sandals, from the look that I would have given them!!      Aren't you glad that our King of Glory didn't have the anger issues, and high expectation of behavior from people that I do?        I am glad that He didn't have all that madness going on either!!

Jesus knew the hearts of people.      He knew that the scribes, and the Chief Priest where scared of Him, and were already plotting to kill Him.         They knew that Jesus stood for something radically different than what they had grown accustom.     He was fixing to rock their world, and set a new standard for life.     They really didn't know who He was, or much about Him.      This one thing they did know, and could feel it deep in their hearts.      Jesus was such a threat to them, that He simply had to die!!

There was another event that had happened that I find amazing.     Jesus was walking with His disciples to Bethany, and Jesus was hungry.      He saw a fig tree far off with leaves on it, so they walked to it.       When they got to the tree it, was not bearing fruit, because the season wasn't right yet.      Jesus simply said to the tree; that no man would ever eat the fruit, from this tree again ever.

Our copy of the Word states that the disciples heard what Jesus had said to the tree.    Apparently, they really didn't think much of it themselves.       The jury of their heart was still out, concerning who Jesus really was to each individual.          They walked on to Jerusalem to attend to business there.

The next day they were walking again in the same region that the fig tree had been in, and Peter noticed a miracle had taken place.      I would call it a miracle any time a tree is full of leaves one day, and the next day it is totally dried up from the roots!!        It's funny, that I can't recall ever hearing a sermon preached, on this miracle.

I love Peter.     He is a lot like myself at times.       Neither one of us or any good at holding our tongues when we are intrigued.      I can just hear him now: Jesus that tree that didn't feed you yesterday, and you put a curse on it. Well, today it is withered up dry from the roots on up!!

Jesus simply answered them, even though Peter was the one that had stuck his neck out again. “Have faith in God!!”          Wow!!      Don't you find this Word from Jesus a little disturbing?    He has just slaughtered this fig tree, without even taking an ax, to the base of the tree.       When questioned about it His first words are, “Have faith in God.”

Jesus did say more behind those words, but I am running out of room to write.      Just so you can check behind me, and see if I am telling you the truth.       The events of this passage have come straight from the book of Mark, and the eleventh chapter.

I have paraphrased a little.      Plus, I am also guilty of thinking outside the box.      I find the Bible more meaningful, when I can slip myself, in the place of those involved.        It tends to open up an entire world of revelation for me.

….......Much Love

We were created to worship

You know that I love a Sunday!!   A lot of people don't even know why we exist to begin with.   They think that we live, make money, have families, do our best to monopolize, and die.     A lot of them think that they're existence is futile, and without any real meaning.    This is a really sad concept, but it is all that some think, that life consists.        I guess that is alright, if they really don't have enough imagination, and desire to seek out more truth than that.

That why I love to write this little blog, because I am persuaded, that I have found the true meaning of life.     I am sold out on the idea that we were created, by the same One that created the universe. This is totally His show, and always has been that way.      He created the spender of what we know as the universe.      We stand in awe as we look out into the vastness of space.     We are totally amazed at the things way beyond the grasp of our reach.      Every time the Hubble telescope sends back more pictures, even more glamorous that the last time.        We go into this mode of worship, and that is why we were created .       That is the whole reason that we exist.

There is a problem though.     We have got the worship factor twisted.    We are willing to worship the creation.       We never give thought to how much more awesome, that the Creator is, for worshiping the creation!!       Some of us even deny the possibility that there is a Creator, that could be responsible, for all the glorious sights that we see.     Well,.....I have found Him!!     He does exist in the lives of human beings, that recognize their need, for His presence, in their lives!!

That same awesome God, can be found in every worship service at Evangel Temple.     I am so glad that is the church that I attend, and not only attend, but I am a member.     I know that I get really excited, after church services that I attend.      I simple can't help myself, and I am not apologizing for it either.      I have never in my life have got this close to the presence of God.     I have always thought that He did exist.       That wasn't good enough though, now that I have personally met Him. I can get a glimpse of the absolute awesomeness that He possesses!!

Today was one of those days, that I get a chance just to sit back and watch, the glory of Father. It makes me love, appreciate my church family even more.     I encourage my readers to check out either the live streaming of our services, or the taped production, located in the church website. We have a really good time in the Lord.        I love to worship, and I was created to worship, so it more than fair to say, that we have a good time in the Lord.

I have been noticing something lately.     It seems once the camera’s have been turned off, and the spectators have left the building.      Something really awesome starts to happen.     Holy Spirit makes His awesome presence manifest, and has His way!!       Most people will never know what is really going on, in my church, if you never come to a service.       You don't get the benefit of our life worship team.      That are number 1, first class.     ( For some reason the taped views of the worship team does not do them justice!!)

The altars were full today of the members, of our church.      Holy Spirit made a run, and they started running to the altars.      The whole from of our sanctuary is nothing but one complete altar. We are a real tight unit of believers, and when we hit the altar, you can bet that we will hit it in force. I have never saw just one person in the altar.     If one unsaved person goes down to pray, then more than a dozen of us will be with them.

It is not like a Billy Graham crusade, but I can't remember a Sunday where the altars were not filled.   Brother Garry loves the Lord, and he preaches his heart out!!      He has a passion for the lost people all over, but especially here in Jacksonville.      He has been praying for the outbreak of revival in the city of Jacksonville, and I believe the Lord might just answer that prayer.

Our church went into the local school system this week, and got a first hand look at all the rebellion going on.      They did fourteen different presentations in five days.     They were spreading the gospel with a force.      Many made decisions to ask Jesus into their heart.     Pastor Chris was leading this movement of God.      After one session had ended, there was a young man, that lagged behind the crowd.      He talk with Pastor, and gave his life to Jesus.

When Pastor Chris had finished, and was walking away this young girl ran up to him.     She asked him a question; “ Do you know who that guy was that just gave his life to Jesus?”       Of coarse, Pastor shook his head, and said that he had given his name.       The girl stated that wasn't what she was talking about.          She said, “ That he was the biggest drug dealer in the entire school!!”

Now that's what I am talking about!!    We serve a real God whom with nothing is impossible!! We serve a life changing God!!      We serve a God who knows no boundaries!!     You know that without a move from Father, those doors to the schools in Duval County Florida, would have never been opened to change that young mans life!!

I for one, don't mind giving praise to a living God, that is all that awesome, and is totally consumed with His children.     John made a statement about Jesus while here on the earth.    Keep in mind that His ministry only lasted for three years.       John 21:25 And there are also many other things which Jesus did, the which, if they should be written every one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that should be written. Amen.

Just think......We were born to worship.

…......Much Love

And with his stripes we are healed.

You know, I am sorry for not posting anything yesterday. You understand how pitiful most guys get, when they are not feeling to well. I know that my female readers understand this concept all to well. Well, I was in one of these moods yesterday, and it wants to carry on into today. I figure that I will praise my Lord today for life!! I really don't have to feel my best everyday. Although, I would rather be feeling like I usually do. I don't reckon that it is necessary.

I know that Satan is coming against me hard right now. I did get a bad report from the Health Department yesterday also. I will be going down there to let them take a serious look at my case. Then they will determine what the deal really is. I am going to humor them, so that don't make this issue any more serious that it could be.

I know the real deal!!    I know who is behind this attack!!     The last time I checked this verdict was already settled.       and with his stripes we are healed.     That is what my Word says.    I am going to stick with that, and go on and live.     One last thing before I move on.    I would like a few of you warriors of God to agree with me on that verse.      We all know that the power of the Word increases as we agree on a thing together.        Thank you Saints of God!!

The City Rescue Mission has another Graduation last night. I did not attend because of my mule headed stubbornness. I tend to look on the negative side of things concerning those folks. I know too many things that I should have never be exposed to know. I had a good friend, that I love dearly graduate last night, and I wasn't even there for him.    I have my issues with the CRM at times, and some things I simply can't support.

Moving on....... I did get some simply wonderful news yesterday. I am number eleven on the waiting list for my housing. I am really hoping that I can move just any day now. Everything that I will need, to make this transition more comfortable, is coming together now, at a great speed. I know that it is simply a matter of time until I get my complete freedom of choice back again. I am looking forward to not staying away from my home base, because of utter foolishness.

I am not angry with the mission, because I feel that they have done me wrong. There have been things that I have missed out on, that it seems came to others so easily. Any anger that I have toward them is based mostly on how they have treated others.      I get angry when they twist the Word to get a thing that they want accomplished.        I get angry when I feel that Jesus is being abused, in any way!!

I will be straight up with telling what the mission has done for me. They have done the same for all that seek shelter there in their program. They have taken me away from the spoils of the outside world.     They have given me time to rebound from the abuse of drugs, alcohol, and tobacco. They have given me the time to think, and plan for my future.     They have given me classes to inform me of a much better way.      They introduced me to their God, and have given me the opportunity to know Him better.

They have given me classes to hone my life skills for the interaction with professional people. They have given me the opportunity to save a life when needed, or to administer first aid in an accident. They have sharpened my skills, in basic everyday operations, in real life situations.

All that is pretty great in my book, but it is not even close to the best thing, that the mission has given me. They encourage me to find a church in the outside world, so I could worship God as I got to know Him.    I church shopped for a few months. I went to some really good churches, but none of those were right for me.     When I walked in Evangel Temple, I knew that I had found a church home.       I just knew it in spite of some of the things of God that went on was flipping me out, down deep inside of me, I longed to worship a God, as awesome as I found there!!

At the Temple I was introduced to, in my view, the God of the Bible!!     The God that changes lives!!        The kind of God that enters on the inside of you, and simply has His way!!      I have felt the power of the real living God!!        At least what He allowed me to feel, and honestly I believe He was holding back for my sake!!

The City Rescue Mission gave me the time, and the opportunity to hook up with my God!!     That was the most awesome thing that anybody has ever done for me on this earth.        I will be eternally grateful for that act of kindness, but the fact still remains that we both still need some serious work!!

 

          ............Much Love

You don't know if I am just another lunatic

For a closet type recluse I sure have touched a lot of people. Since I have been downtown, I run into someone different from my past nearly everyday. Maybe the shame is on myself, because usually they will call me by my name. However, I rarely know what their names are, but I recognize the face. The great thing about this is most of these people that I see, I have had no trouble with in my past. Every now and them I will see a person that I can't approach, because of hard feelings. That is really rare though.

I don't know where all these people come from. I know that I have had favorable dealings with them in my past, but I can't say where. I have spent a few years dealing with the Salvation Army, up close and personal. A good amount could have sprang from the era. I even have a couple years association with the Trinity Rescue Mission here in town. The other place that they might have sprang from is six years dealing with the Oxford house that was located close to the beaches area.

Looking back I have spent most of the last twenty years working in some area that was favorable. I guess that you could say that I have served my fellow man in some capacity, over the last few years. I wonder if it was all a training session in which to go forth with God now?      Maybe, .....I am just thinking out loud.     I tend to be funny that way.      I have really never understood anything happening that can be explained away as a freak accident.

I believe that all things are tied together in the big scheme of things.    That means that nothing happens by accident.     Everything that happens to us, gives us an opportunity, to make a choice of how we will handle this opportunity.    After all, isn't that the way that we calculate the growth processes in our lives?      Come on now, stay with me.      I am going to get on a roll here is a minute!!

Haven't you ever thought that life may have been pretty much preplanned from the beginning? That everything that we do, good, bad, or indifferent, has been known since the beginning of time.   Have you ever had a habit, that no matter what you did to break doing this habit, it didn't change a bit.   Then at the precise moment it time, all the proper ingredients formed together to make that hope become a reality?       It's kind of like that Matrix movie: Do you really believe that is air that's your breathing?

Are you laughing yet?       Go a head, because it good to laugh.         Laughter effects the body in some miraculous ways.        Don't believe me?         Click on the link....

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/features/laughter-a-serious-business-2353605.html

Once you get finished laughing yourself to better health, and me to scorn.....Let's move on. I am really getting at terrific thought that there is no way that I can prove. For my smarter readers: I am going to introduce to you a theory, that I can't possibly prove, with my finite mind, to be a reality.

My only basis for making such a ludicrous claim in God.    I really only know what I have read in His word, and been taught from His work.     My past personal experience with Him has been totally awesome, but not all that much as of yet.      I am a stickler when it comes to believing, what I read in the Bible.     Whether I understand it or not.      Whether it makes any sense or not.     No matter how fantastic, and over-whelming to my common senses that it may be.     Nor how radically foolish that believing such a thing makes me look.      I still lock it inside of my heart, and file in away under nothing but the truth!!

I am curious to why Father would know something that Jesus doesn't know?      Have you ever thought about that, or do you not know what I am taking about?       I am talking about the end of time here on the earth as it was prophetically place in the Word.      Only Father knows when that time will be.       Jesus seems to know everything else, but He don't know exactly when that time will come.          I am not avoiding the subject.       I just have a brain back fire!!

We all know that Father is simple awesome, in every part of the word.     There is no part about Father that just don't leave my brain all tore up, and hoping for more!!     Have you ever seen a being with as much confidence, and self-confidence at the same time?     Back when I didn't know any better, I thought that He was the most arrogant being that there ever was.      Now that I am getting to really know Him, I know that there is nothing arrogant about Father.        He is just that good!!

I know that you are right, if you are assuming, that I am not gonna ever try to prove my point. Actually, did I really even have a point?       Do you really thing that is air that your breathing?      I rather get back to braggin' on how good Father really is!!       That is something worth talking about, and I could see being in worship to His Majesty all the day long!!

The sad thing is that you have no idea where my craziness is really coming from.    You don't know if I am just another lunatic that has got loose in this already crazy world.      If you might even think that I might be on to something here.    If you really care to know, if I might be shooting all this straight forward to you, then there is only one way to know for sure.

Call on the name of Jesus.         Develop a personal relationship with Him.       Get to know Father, and at the same time give Holy Spirit free reign over your life.        It you will do these things with all your heart, then my sanity will not even be a though to you.         You will know for sure.

…......Much Love

Jacksonville best kept secret is out!!

We are in the middle of a great move of God in Jacksonville Florida. God is moving in a miraculous way. The real exciting part for me is the fact that my church is in the middle of the movement. I am not saying that my church is an exclusive center for God. This might be happening in every church. The only one I know for sure about is mine, because I attend there very regularly.

Last Sunday we were informed in a church service. That the county school department, had contacted our church to, give them the thumbs up, to go in, and minister to fifteen public schools. Everybody in this country knows that God is not welcome in our public school system. Since the 60's Father has been booted out in the way of Bible reading, and prayer.

Our church has been doing things for the schools in our area. We have went out there, and cleaned the property up where it was needed. I believe that we have even built things that either needed to be built, or repaired things that were damaged. While doing all these things we did not infringe on anybody’s rights, in any way. We did not charge for any of the stuff that we did. We did things that needed to be done in order to advance our educational community. We did them from the heart of the church, to show that the love of God, is alive and well. We did it basically, because it was the right thing. Asking nothing in return except the ability to help where help was needed. God is opening doors in this community, and He is using our church to go through.

You wouldn't believe how busy things are at the church. We sponsor over one hundred missionaries throughout the world. Every month we send construction teams, made up from our congregation to build a church in an area of a country that doesn't have one. We even let the children of our church get involved in building of a church. At my church we are a family. Right now we are in the process of planning trips to, Romania, Asia, Lithuania, Germany, and also two states in our country; Alaska, and South Dakota.

We are involved heavily in our local community. (Prison Crusades, Sidewalk Sunday School, Juvenile Detention, S.O.S. Homeless Ministry, School Supply Drives, Disaster Relief, Toys for Kids, Chi-Alpha , Reach America, ETAG Iron Motorcycle Ministry, City Rescue Mission,High School Campus Outreach ) I don't even understand what some of this is, but we take care of things as a whole. As members we have a choice of where we want to minister, or not at all.

We are in the process of building a new sign for our church. We are located right next to the interstate, and our sign ministers to a minimum of 100,000 cars that pass by it each day. It is a great opportunity to encourage, and invite those that are currently involved with a church to visit ours.

This is a very busy times of the year because of Easter. This is the time that we recognize that our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, defeated hell and death, and rose from the grave. We love, and worship a risen Savior!! It is much more that an egg hunt, but we do that for our children. We love our children!! We have this egg hunt called an Easter Eggstravaganza, and this is the time that our excellent production team goes into action. The name is the perfect lion. If you go thought the video's posted on the website you can see last years production.

I really love my church, because my church really loves their God!! We don't play church, with all the silly rules and regulations of man. We are the church. We meet to worship the One true God!! We are led by the Spirit, and filled with the Spirit. We welcome Father, Son, and Holy Spirit into our church. We sing praises to Him. We worship Him individually inside of a corporate setting. Everything that we do is to honor our God. We do nothing in honor of ourselves. It is all about the Jesus that we love!!

The best thing about our church is the fact that we worship the Lord, and He honors us with His presence every time. We never have to worry whether or not that He will show up. If you would make the Lord the guest of honor in your services he would be there with you!! One more thing, maybe two. We also have a television ministry, and live streaming on the Internet. They show the meat of the service, but lack real badly in the gravy department. Our services are energized with the fire of God!! Y'all come and give us a visit one way or the other!! This link is to our location:http://evangeltempleag.org/index.php/campuses/central-campus.html

This link is to our website:http://evangeltempleag.org/ 

 

       .............Much Love

That's a radical bold move to make...

6 And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.

That is exactly where I stand today!!    I don't have it near as bad as David.    It don't really matter, if all hell breaks lose in my direction.     I don't care what happens.    I am going to do like David when he had a great reason to get repressed.     He had a great reason to run off and hide.    He had a perfect opportunity to grab a bottle of Jim Beam, and a pack of Marlboro' s.      When his faithful men that had served under him, talked of taking his life instead of doing one, or all of these things. David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.

Why would I do the same as David did?          It certainly worked in his benefit.     God is the same yesterday, today, and forever!!

I have walked through the valley in the shadow of death, and I fear no evil!!    For my Lord and God has been with me every step of the way.       I have come thru some incredible odds, to get to the place that I am standing today. I am not laying down. I     am not even cowering down, but I am walking down, to the foot of the cross!!       That is where it all happened.      This is where it all began.   This is the place that I was turned into a mighty warrior for the things, of the Living God!!!!

It is like the song says; There is no turning back. There is no turning back now!!     There is a Spirit inside this body of an older man, that cannot be contained.      It burns with a never ceasing flame of the Truth, and when it is challenged, it will purify all that come against it.     It will not be contained, and it will not be contained, once it senses evil approaching My little one.      It will spring into action.           It is precise in it's calculations, and is free to do whatever the Father command it to do!!

You can come against me with you Bible in one hand, and a cross in the other one. You can twist and turn your scriptures in to anything that you want them to say to your benefit. You can push me out the door, for the good of the other brothers that need help. You can even print out guides with how many people that you have helped throughout the months, and years, while begging for more money in the name of Jesus. Look at me!            Look at me!            Look at what I have done, and what I have done for the good of mankind!!             Oh the humanity, that I have shown throughout this community.

Filthy rags!!    Filthy rags I say!!     Get thee away from me you workers of iniquity!!     I have never known you!!      You have never even got to know me.     You are playing a game called religion.    You have never taken the time to sit at my feet, and listen to the truth.      You never have invited Me in, the door while I stood outside and knocked.      We have never even shared a meal together.     It is not to late though. You can repent, and turn from your wicked ways.     You can call on me, and I will be there for you.     Come to me all you that are weary.       Take my yoke upon you.     For I am meek and lowly, and my burden is light.

            Wow!!        That's why David encouraged himself.     I would have never though that this much power has been running through myself.     I don't know what just happened really.    I didn't write what I was planning to write.       Now I certainly can't even change nothing about it.

What I really need is someone that has experienced what just happened to myself.     I know that it was Holy Spirit shooting through me. I     know those words came to easy.     They simply flowed without any struggle at all.     I have been left feeling supercharged, with a peaceful feeling all at the same time.     That is the way that my Jesus works.

Phillipians 4:7. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus

That is the way that my Jesus works!!      He will place a calm feeling on you that is so intense that will blow your mind.     At least that the way that I see it.       This feeling is so deep and peaceful that there is no way that I can understand, little lone comprehend it. I Just love it, and accept it for what it is, at the time.

This has been meant for somebody to realize that Jesus is the way, the truth and the light.   I have no idea whom it might be.....      I think if God was dealing with me personally ,that I would heed to His call.      There is no reason for any fear, because only goodness and mercy is found in the Lord.

 

           ..............Much love

Walking on egg shells again..

I am caught up in this vicious cycle of life right now, that is going to drive me nuts, if it don't break soon!! I wish I had my own place to be, or at least in a place that I know that I am wanted. It is really no fun when you spend most of your every waking moment, trying to not get on the wrong persons nerves. It is nothing less that pure mental torture trying to live this way. Knowing that an angry man has the power to put me on the streets at any time. Sometimes it is enough to drive me out the door without a invitation.

It is a shame when you go through a program with the end in sight from the beginning. Especially, when somebody changes the outcome, without telling those participating, the way that it really is. The real shame is that those with the power don't practice what they preach. I don't have much of anything. The most thing of value that I have is this Toshiba Satellite laptop that I bought at the flea market for 150.00.

I was so proud to have this computer the first thing that I did with it to give it back to God. All the rest of the stuff that I have are just clothes. Most of those are barely better than rags. Some of them would qualify for rags. I have a few dress clothes that I will wear on Sundays after I get a place where I can hang them up. Right now clothes are very cramped, and wrinkles galore. I do have a nearly new pair of Adidas shoes that my buddy gave me. I mostly keep those locked up until I don't have to worry about someone stealing them.

I could have done like most of these fellows around here are doing. I could have accumulated them by alternative methods 15-20 pair of 200 dollar shoes. I could have 30-40 pair of designer jeans stashed away somewhere, with a matching shirt for each pair. Most of them have a pocket full of money also. Along with some fantastic toys to play with.  ( cell phones, necklaces, watches, and jewelry)

I am not jealous of these things. Even with the fact being that most of them came in with little of nothing. The same that I did. When I came in to this, I brought everything that was left of my possessions. Two small bags held it all, and absolutely nothing of any value. The sad part is that it looks like I am going to pick right up where I left off, but that is only an optical illusion. You must know that I have learned a few things, since coming in here.

One of the most important things that I have learned if you are going to be a Christian. The simple fact that we walk by faith, and not by sight. It really don't matter worth a hill of beans, what the situation looks like, because with God all things are possible!! Over the past two years of my life He has proven over, and over again, that He will never leave me, or forsake me. All I have to do to receive the victory is stand up, suit up, and pray!! Jesus has got my back!!

Satan is talking at me more and more, as the days go past. Honestly, that tell me that I am doing something right. There is a reason that all them fellers, with all that stuff, are not here any longer. The same applies to the ones that wanted to stay up all night watching the television, or watch pornography on their telephones. I have been around posers that act like do-gooders around the staff until they walk away, and the real heathen come busting forth.

I have been around all sorts of the forms of evil since I have been in this Christian program. I have seen people threaten other people. I have been threatened, and had a knife pulled on me once, since I have been here. I have known of students, selling drugs to other students, in this Christian program. I have known of, or actually saw all kinds of treacherous evil, since being here in this program. I am only talking about the students. You must remember that the staff are human also.

I came into this place with one goal in my heart, mind, and soul. I needed to find out if God was real, and why He didn't want to have anything to do with me, if He was real. I had always believed that God was real since I was seven years old, but I was desperate to know for sure, without any guessing, or speculation. I was past the point of what anybody else had to say about Jesus. I had heard all that before anyway. I needed a real relationship with Him if He did exist. I was sick and tired of being on the down hill swing of things. I wanted to be on the mountain top for once in my life. I wasn't sure what I was going to have to do, but I was willing to try anything that it might take, to force God into making a move in my direction.

I will write a second part to this about what I did that changed my life entirely for the better. I might write an entire series of what I did that made the difference. After all, this is my ministry of telling the world what God has done for me. I know that if He has started this good work in that He will also see it to the completion. I love to write about how good the Lord is being to me. Especially, since I have been such a rotten character for the most of my life.

….....Much Love