Help!!

My life has been simplified to the point that I don't do many things different. I think the key is that there is nothing that I do that I don't enjoy doing. I really like writing this blog, because it is much more than just the writing of the words. It is far more than just posting pictures that I find appealing to my senses, and hoping that you might like them also. It is even more than the video's that are on my blog. They are there for your enjoyment, and maybe broaden your horizons to different forms of praise.

We are all different people, and different things attract us, and draws our attention to them. Sometimes I post poetry, and some times I post short stories that other people have poured their heart out before you that I find great meaning within. Most of the time I just write what is on my mind, and that could be about anything on any given day.

I try to stay on a common theme with my writing, and that is the love of the Father toward us. What started out from an act of sheer boredom has grown into a form of ministry for me. If you read my first posts I was trying to establish a common theme, and it never really did take form. I knew that I could write some stories of interest to some people, and I think that I did manage to that.                     However, something was missing on the inside of me.   I was not satisfied with the results, because it didn't satisfy my inner man.

Then I took over a year break trying to figure out who I was, and more importantly who God was, and who He was to me.     I knew that something had to change when I picked this blog back up.     I knew that I had changed.      I didn't feel like I once felt.        I didn't act the way that I used to act.     I didn't even think the same as I once thought.     My Spiritual life had gone through a complete massive overhaul, so you would expect my blog to change.             Right?

Well.................It didn't at first,....it was about the same as before. I was trying to write differently, but I still had fear living on the inside of me. You can tell by that picture on the front of my blog if you would look closely.      That picture has been there since the beginning, and it is of me scared to death of my own shadow!!       I like it.          It reminds me of where that I’ve been, and who brought me out, and set me free!! 

The only way that I could find any meaning in the words that I write was to write about what I truly love, and love doing.          It had to be about the solution that I found for the miserable life that I had been living, and how this change has taken place.      It needs to praise the One that snatched me from the flames of hell, and show others that the way that I found really works.

I write mostly to the Christians out there who are still struggling, because I more than qualify to minister to those who are suffering.        I know what it is like to turn my back on a loving God that is just trying to help me.       I know how it is to give praise to a can of beer, or a drug, because of pure fear knowing that I was doing wrong.        I wanted to do better, but I was under the influence of Satan.       He had a stronghold on me, and I was terrified of the only One who could crush it!!      I know what it is like to be a complete mess, and rejecting my only help.

Of all these things that I know how it feels to be a hopeless loser.     I now know the meaning of mercy, and grace.        I know how important that forgiveness is in my life.      Not only to be forgiven, but to be able to forgive myself.         Maybe that is what Paul is talking about when he says that we need to work out our own Salvation with fear and trembling, because we have a part of the plan of salvation.         We are responsible to receive it.        It will not be forced upon us!!

That is my plan.     To write words of encouragement to those who can use them.     To help those who struggle like I did get a glimpse of the light that I found.       I have a ministry to spread the good news throughout the entire word.       The sad thing is that I can't do it alone.      I need some folks to not be bashful, and sending me e-mail, about your questions, or concerns.      Send me stories of your faith, and how it worked out for you.        I would love to print your stories on my blog, but only with your permission.      I don't make a penny off this blog, and I never will.       I don't accept any advertisements.       I want this to be all about Jesus, and how we love Him, and how He blesses us!!

…..............Much love

Poor Spirit must be worn out.......

Do you remember a game that we would play when we were kids called follow the leader?     Whomever the leader was they would run all over the place making silly gestures. They would run around the same tree twice.       There would be 4, or 5 bushes, and the leader would touch a certain bush, or several bushes, and the object of the game was to mimic the leader.

You had to pay close attention to the detail in which the leader chose to do.    If you were caught making a mistake you were out of the game. The more kids that were playing in a game made seeing the moves that the leader made became increasingly difficult.

Well,......I think that being a Christian in the world today is kind of like playing follow the leader.     Now I am not saying that to be a Christian is not serious business, because it is very serious.        Heaven, and Hell are very real realities, and a decision must be made.      You can say that you will choose later, but that will count toward a choice in favor of hell.        I really don't think that anyone in their right mind would choose an eternity in the pits of hell!!

That is not what my focus is on today.       The focus today is being a Christian, and Jesus is our Glorious Leader.       We are supposed to mimic His moves, and act just as He acts.     We all know that this is an impossible feat.     Jesus is our perfect example of how we should live our lives today. He brought His perfect example to the worlds table over 2000 years ago, and the truth still prevails in the world today.

Fortunate for us, Jesus manifest mercy, and grace in our lives.       We get many chances to get it right each, and every day.          The Word says the the mercies of the Lord are renewed every morning.                The good thing is there is always the right amount........Exactly just enough!!

I think that sometimes as Christian that we put an exceeding amount of pressure on ourselves.     I don't really think that fear, and stress has any place in the life of a Christian.            I believe every time that Jesus ask us to do something He knows what we lack to accomplish the job.     I know that I always am lacking in one area, or another.     I believe with all my heart that He will supply whatever we need to get the job done.

A lot of times in my personal walk He will simply ask me to tell a person something.    I never have even saw this person, and coupled with extreme shyness leaves me in serious trouble on my own strength.        In John 15:5 Jesus is taking about the vine.              He compares Himself to the vine.       He also compares the branches on that vine to me.           Then He drops a bomb of wisdom in the mix when He says without Him I can do nothing!!

Any way that you want to slice that pie without His presence I can not do anything positive, or to the good.       In my own strength I might as well stayed in bed all day, with the sheets pulled over my head!!      If I read that verse right, I still can't manage to do that right without Jesus!!      If I really need Him to accomplish anything at all.........Then why would He ask me to do something, and drop me on my head?

Can you see the point that I am making concerning the Lord using me, or anyone as far as that goes? I think that we get over concerned with our performance that often times we miss the mark.     Please don't let Holy Spirit ask us to give something away to somebody that actually has a need for it......Especially money!!

Oh no!!        I can her you talking to me right now, but you are cracking up.       The words that you are speaking sounds like you want me to do something that I can't quite make out.       You might need to get some rest, and tell me again later.          Poor Spirit must be worn out, because I thought that I heard Him speaking about cash, .........and five dollars ain't easy to come by!!

Why do put so much value on a piece of paper?       We will hold on to a dollar bill with vengeance!!       Don't we realize that Jesus is more interested in our obedience than the little cash that we have hidden in our secret place?        As Christians we need to get our priorities in order.      We need to put our faith, and trust in the only One that is worthy of all our complete attention!!            If we ever can get to the point of living like Jesus will return in the next hour.......Then we will see the world changing for the better.

…............Much love

God-in-the-box!!

The city bus let's me out a couple hundred feet from the front door of my church. Immediately once my feet hit the ground my whole perspective changes for the better.     I just have the feeling come over me that I am exactly in the place that I need to be.      A warm, almost glowing type of feeling invades my body, and my entire body welcomes the feeling.        I really can't explain what is going on with me.      It is like I get giddy, and just thrilled to be there!!

This morning I didn't make Sunday school, because my tail was too lazy to get out of the bed. It wasn't like I didn't sleep last night, because I sleep well most nights.     I am confident that I am walking in the will of God, and that causes a peaceful night of rest.     Maybe it was just meant for me to not attend this morning.      That makes three in a row that I have missed in this new adventure of The Truth Project.      The great thing is that they are nine more weeks left until completion.

I have always been kind of strange acting at my church.       Normally,...... I am really a very shy person. I don't talk much, and rarely ask any questions.      I am a loner by nature.     Most of my human interaction in the past was because somebody else had something that I thought that I needed, or I had a job that required human interaction.        This was all going to change in my life, because Jesus had not called me to play solitaire on His behalf.       He has given me the same command that He gave the rest of His believers.

 

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew 28:16-20&version=KJV

This is called the great commission. This is where Jesus anointed those that believed on Him to spread the Gospel throughout the world .     Even though,.............. through this blog I can reach the entire world, and spread the Gospel ( Good News ), I still need a home base.       A ministry to fuel my fire, a Church where I can receive strength, and the power to continue along the right path.      I need to receive the fire of God burning in my bones, so I can have something interesting to deliver to you.

I know that right now that I am still struggling a bit with what to say.      I just need to step out of the way, and let Jesus write the words that He would say to you.       You know it is really sad when we have a book called the Holy Bible, and it is nothing more than God's words on how we should live our lives.        It is basically an owners manual on how a human being should operate on this planet.     Still most of us don't consult it for any wisdom on life, unless we are already in trouble. Even stranger that that is if we do look for the wisdom that we need, and the help that we seek is found.        Then we act like it was just a fluke type of deal.          We don't give our creator any real acknowledgment for pulling us out of the fire one more time.       Somehow, we turn it around, and pat ourselves on the back, because we think that we are in total control of our lives.

I used to be really bad about acting in that sort of way.     I would pray,.... cry, ....beg, and plead for God to intervene and deliver me from some form of madness that I had gotten myself into again.     He would honor my prayer, and start the process of straightening out the situation.        I could actually see Him working.         Things were changing right before my very eyes, and what do you think that I would do next?

Whoa!!        That's enough!!         I can take it from here.        I know how I want this to turn out.       I do appreciate all that you have done so far, but I will take it from here.         I really would appreciate if you would just crawl back in your box now.         If I need you I still know how to crank the handle.

Yep,........That's right,...........I had me a jack-in-the-box God!!         Just crank the handle, and He would spring out!!         When I was finished with Him,..............I would lock Him back inside!!

I can tell you from experience that this is not the way that almighty God deserves to be treated.       Nor was He of the most beneficial to my life.       My God doesn't belong in any box!!

God works best in our lives when we allow Him to be what that He really is....GOD!!      He really don't know how to be anything else, and that is excellent in my case.      I needed a God in my life to straighten out the mess that my best thinking had created.       I was living in a cold, chaotic, dark place that I had no hope to escape!!

If you remember back in the garden of Eden when the day would start to cool of God would look for Adam. He would walk with Adam in the garden, and they would talk with each other. I bet that Adam had a million questions to ask. I would also imagine that Father had absolutely no problem answering his questions either.          That is the way that God wants for us to treat Him.      He wants us to ask Him for the things that we need.         He wants us to ask Him about His opinion about how we are living our lives.         All the Father has ever wanted from us is to have a relationship with Him.        The deeper that we get into this relationship the more that we love Him, and want to make Him happy with our praise!!

Although I am guilty of this myself, I just really don't understand why it is so difficult to accept.           On the one hand we have a Father that owns more than this world can contain.      He is the wealthiest Man alive, and He wants to adopt us.        He wants to call us His children.      He loves us so much that He even has our picture on His refrigerator door!!          He wants to take care of us, and handle all of our problems that will ever arise in life.         He has a solid Gold plan for our eternity with no pain, or suffering involved.

That still is not good enough for us!!          We think that there has to be some catch to it!!                           Honestly,.......We are far too intelligent to get caught up in that kind of madness!!

                     What is really wrong with us?

….......Much Love

Ice Cream For The Soul

Author Unknown

Last week I took my children to a restaurant. My six-year-old son asked if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good. God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if mom gets us ice cream for dessert. And Liberty and justice for all! Amen."

Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice-cream! Why, I never! "Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?" As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table. He winked at my son and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer." "Really?" my son asked. "Cross my heart."

Then in a theatrical whisper he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), "Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes."

Naturally, I bought my kids ice cream at the end of the meal. My son stared at his for a moment and then did something I will remember the rest of my life. He picked up his sundae and without a word walked over and placed it in front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, "Here, this is for you. Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes, and my soul is good already.

A really cool story

Just A Few Drops

Author Unknown

It was one of the hottest days of the dry season. We had not seen rain in almost a month. The crops were dying. Cows had stopped giving milk. The creeks and streams were long gone back into the earth. It was a dry season that would bankrupt several farmers before it was through. Every day, my husband and his brothers would go about the arduous process of trying to get water to the fields. Lately this process had involved taking a truck to the local water rendering plant and filling it up with water. But severe rationing had cut everyone off. If we didn't see some rain soon... we would lose everything.

It was on this day that I learned the true lesson of sharing and witnessed the only miracle I have seen with my own eyes. I was in the kitchen making lunch for my husband and his brothers when I saw my six-year old son, Billy, walking toward the woods. He wasn't walking with the usual carefree abandon of a youth but with a serious purpose. I could only see his back. He was obviously walking with a great effort...trying to be as still as possible.

Minutes after he disappeared into the woods, he came running out again, toward the house. I went back to making sandwiches, thinking that whatever task he had been doing was completed. Moments later, however, he was once again walking in that slow purposeful stride toward the woods. This activity went on for an hour. He would walk carefully to the woods, run back to the house. Finally I couldn't take it any longer and I crept out of the house and followed him on his journey (being very careful not to be seen...as he was obviously doing important work and didn't need his Mommy checking up on him).

He was cupping both hands in front of him as he walked, being very careful not to spill the water he held in them...maybe two or three tablespoons were held in his tiny hands. I sneaked close as he went into the woods. Branches and thorns slapped his little face but he did not try to avoid them. He had a much higher purpose. As I leaned in to spy on him, I saw the most amazing site. Several large deer loomed in front of him. Billy walked right up to them. I almost screamed for him to get away. A huge buck with elaborate antlers was dangerously close. But the buck did not threaten him...he didn't even move as Billy knelt down. And I saw a tiny fawn laying on the ground, obviously suffering from dehydration and heat exhaustion, lift its head with great effort to lap up the water cupped in my beautiful boy's hand.

When the water was gone, Billy jumped up to run back to the house and I hid behind a tree. I followed him back to the house, to a spigot that we had shut off the water to. Billy opened it all the way up and a small trickle began to creep out. He knelt there, letting the drip, drip slowly fill up his makeshift "cup," as the sun beat down on his little back. And it came clear to me. The trouble he had gotten into for playing with the hose the week before. The lecture he had received about the importance of not wasting water. The reason he didn't ask me to help him.

It took almost twenty minutes for the drops to fill his hands. When he stood up and began the trek back, I was there in front of him. His little eyes just filled with tears. "I'm not wasting," was all he said.

As he began his walk, I joined him...with a small pot of water from the kitchen. I let him tend to the fawn. I stayed away. It was his job.

I stood on the edge of the woods watching the most beautiful heart I have ever known working so hard to save another life. As the tears that rolled down my face began to hit the ground, they were suddenly joined by other drops...and more drops...and more. I looked up at the sky. It was as if God, himself, was weeping with pride.

Some will probably say that this was all just a huge coincidence. That miracles don't really exist. That it was bound to rain sometime. And I can't argue with that...I'm not going to try. All I can say is that the rain that came that day saved our farm...just like the actions of one little boy saved another.

I don't know if anyone will read this...but I had to send it.... To honor the memory of my beautiful Billy, who was taken from me much too soon.... but not before showing me the true face of God, in a little sunburned body.

I was that mad man!!

Something is starting to happen whenever I read my Bible.     I think that my eyes are being opened a little more each time that I read the Word.      I know that the Bible is a living book.     It is the way to change a life, or remove any obstacle that comes between us to cause hindrance.     It gives Holy Spirit a chance to shine, and do His work of leading us on the path of the Cross.       Holy Spirit is as alive as Jesus, or Father God.

Most of my life I had a problem grasping the idea, and the concept of Holy Spirit    . I never called on Him in a time of need.       I didn't understand that He was as real, and powerful as Father and Jesus.       I was missing an important part of my personal relationship with the essence of the Trinity.      Like every thing else in my life I just wanted what I wanted, and if I saw no value in it, or a way to gain from it.......It simply did not exist!!

I would imagine that you that know better than what I just said are laughing right now.       Go ahead, and get a good laugh on, because I am laughing with you!!        I know that my best thinking was totally ludicrous!!        I often look back, and laugh at my past.        However, I can't do it without offering Praise to the One, or Three that it took to deliver me!!

I must tell you that might be reading this, and don't understand the importance of Holy Spirit please allow me to explain what I understand to be true.        I have just recently come to the revelation knowledge that Holy Spirit is real, and active in my life.      There is so much that will be revealed later at His discretion.

This is the best way that I can explain it.         Imagine that you are walking in a pitch black cave. You are not alone either.        Jesus has one of your hands, and Father has the other.        You have no fear, because of who is holding your hands.         You could walk forever with the confidence that every thing is going to be alright.

All of a sudden the cave lights up.        There is not a dark spot, or a shadow in sight.       Everything is illuminated, and path become clear where you are going to walk.        You have found perfect harmony.        The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.        They work in perfect harmony together.            Always!!  

In my honest opinion I need all three, because I am not just looking for a great place to spend eternity.        My eternity has already started.        It is not about the journey, and it is not about a distinct destination.       It is not about riches, nor prosperity.       The secret to what is about is the relationship!!

Once I realized that I wasn't doing very well in life.      I was not happy, and I knew nothing about love.         Honestly,.....I had sex confused with love.         That was my only love.       What an idiot that I was!!           I knew that there was a solution to the problem in my life.      I just didn't understand that I was the problem in my life!!

I had to surrender everything in my life under the care of Jesus.     All I had was things that caused me great pain, and total misery.          Still though I had a really hard time of letting it go.      It was all that I knew, and I had become comfortable wallowing around in my misery!!      I was totally consumed with fear, and had some serious issues of trust.        If I couldn't trust my parents, then who could I trust?

I know that this has not turned out to be what that I wanted it to say.      However it does say exactly what Jesus wants it to say.       There is nothing more important than that to me.       You see I am still in the process of surrendering what that I am still holding on today.          It has been quite a ride, and so far an awesome adventure!!

I can compare myself to the mad man of Gadara.     Jesus has delivered myself of so much.       He has set me free from things that I didn't know that had a hold on me!!        The beautiful thing is that He has not finished with me yet, and will not be until He calls me home!!       A wonderful part of me, like with the man of madness is that I can be found at the feet of Jesus, .......fully clothed, and speaking in my right mind!!

Please take the time to read this story found in Mark 5 again. See if you can find yourselves in this story.     I know that I am all in it!!       When Jesus was about to leave.,... reformed madness ask to go with him. Jesus spoke these words to him,

19 Howbeit Jesus suffered him not, but saith unto him, Go home to thy friends, and tell them how great things the Lord hath done for thee, and hath had compassion on thee.

That is the reason, or one of the reasons that I write this blog!!       I want to tell the word about what Jesus has done for me, and how great a compassion that He has poured over my life!!      I want to spend the rest of my life Thanking, and Praising Him for the great deliverance that Has brought into my life!!

My sincere prayer for everyone else is that they might find the relationship that has been started in my life!!                 AMEN!!

…..........Much Love

What's in your closet?

How many people really know who you are?     In other words how many folks have you let know the real you?       Did that raise your blood pressure a few degrees?     It used to raise mine quite a few numbers when I was having a hard time simply figuring out who I was!!

Let me say this first,.........All of us have things buried so deep in out closets that we would rather die that have them found out.       Most of us have been telling lies about certain situations that we have actually convinced ourselves that we are telling the truth.      More than likely we have got so good at certain lies that even the professionals couldn't detect that we are lying if their life depended on it!!

I hope everybody realizes that the only things that we tell other people about ourselves is exactly what we want them to know.          Now, if you offended by that, please allow me to say it in a little different,......... less offensive way.         All the folks that you will ever meet in your lifetime will only tell you what the want you to know about themselves.        Did that take a bit of the sting out of the truth?

Do you still think that you need a little proof that I am not just making this up?      If you can't get the proof by using yourself as the best example.       Then what you really need to do is draw three rings around your feet with colorful pieces of chalk.        Then start hoping up, and down wildly, screaming at the top of your lungs this little chant:     “De-nial isn't just a river in Egypt!!”        Do that until you pass out, or fall from the chalk circles from laughing so hard!!          Either way,.... I am through pickin' on you......Al least for now.

How many times have you and one of the people inside your life been talking with each other, and out of the blue,.......Either heard, or made this statement.         Do you remember way back then,......When I told you.......Blah, Blah, Blah.          Yeah,.....I remember that.          Well,.....It was not exactly true. The truth was.......Blah, Blah.Blah.       I really didn't mean to lie to you. I just didn't know you that well then.        Blah, Blah, Blah

More than likely the two of y'all tightened the already growing bond between you, and simply laughed it off together.      That's how we become real friends over time.       We have at least one goal in common that starts the attraction.        Then over time they become more, or less, and the relationship either blossoms, or doesn't do all that well.        Some of them just die, but that is still OK.           That is what makes us different.            Different strokes for different folks!!

I have come to find out for myself that nobody didn't really know me.             Why?             Because I didn't even know who the heck that I was!!                I had so much pain pressing down on the inside of me that I rarely told much of the truth.         I was ashamed of what I had become, and of the things that had happened in my life.          Not all of these things were my fault, but most of them were.           I take responsibility for my actions of the past today, and try to help others to not to have to live in the misery that I chose to exist inside.

I really am a project under-construction, and the Master Carpenter is Jesus Christ!!      He is Magnificent!!           I think if I would have been Him I would have just took me out, and said that I only made one mistake!!                I was,........ and still am a complete mess!!          He is slowly cleaning me up a little each day.             He is truly a God of Wonders!! 

I still have some crucial points to over come, but by golly they are slowly coming around.        I have heard that it is an inside job,..........And honestly I can see that now.      I just want to share a small thing, and then I will go for now.

I was scared to give anything up, because I thought that I need everything that I had to make me what I was.       Trust me,......I said a mouthful that time.        (1) The truth is that Jesus will not ask you to give up anything that you actually need. (2) He will not ask you to give up anything that He will not replace with something better. (3) Jesus will not take anything that you don't ask Him to take, and He will not play tug of war with it either!!

…..............Much love

A Smile

A smile costs nothing, but gives much-
It takes but a moment, but the memory of it usually lasts forever.
None are so rich that can get along without it-
And none are so poor but that can be made rich by it.


It enriches those who receive, without making poor those who give-
It creates sunshine in the home,
Fosters good will in business,
And is the best antidote for trouble-
And yet it cannot be begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is of no value
Unless it is given away.


Some people are too busy to give you a smile-
Give them one of yours-
For the good Lord knows that no one needs a smile so badly
As he or she who has no more smiles left to give.

Author Unknown

       .............Much Love

Deception can be Over-Whelming

I was so amazed today.      This very young lady, actually,.......She was 21.     For my age I could have called her a baby, and still wouldn't been that far off track!!       Seeing how we live in a world of political correctness,........She was an adult!!       OK.       Back to this story!!

She was a stunning beautiful lady that talked Jesus Christ the whole time that she was there. There were times that I was close to her, and could hear her better, and times at a distance.     I don't miss many conversations about Jesus, because I have this radar inside of me that goes off at the sound of the Name!!           The only unfortunate thing about it is the fact that it is just as sharp on blasphemy.

I heard her say that they didn't go to church much, because they would look at her fiance in a funny, or judging way.      I just assumed that maybe her man was white, or something different from her. Oh,......I failed to mention that this stunning young woman was from the black culture.    My bad!!

I thought that when I got closer to her again I would invite her to attend at my church. We have all different kinds of folks just loving, and hugging on each other. I have never seen a bitter moment between any two different cultures.      I knew that they would make ourselves right at home!!

As I was getting closer to her she was telling somebody that God had a mission for her. She was to stand on a hill pointing folks to Jesus.     I must have missed some of the story, because I never could make a lick of sense from it.       I really just assumed that she knew what she was talking about by her demeanor.    She was cool, and calm with her speech.      She was really careful not to be offensive to any of those around her.         She talked with great intensity spreading love all crossed the room.       She was attracting men and women to her ….Mostly men.

I was standing there doing something that I know better than to be doing.      I was comparing myself to her!!        We should never compare ourselves to anybody but Jesus should be the example that we set our goal on!!          We can never measure up to anybody else.       Often times we simply excel right on past them without really knowing the truth.        Ever wonder why being equal is failure in the judging game?

I knew that I would get a chance to tell her about my church while were at the kiosk machine together.     I didn't want to miss that opportunity.         I can't imagine anybody not going to church because of being judged.      I walked up to the kiosk next to her, and started to speak.    Another guy walk up, and interrupted the start of our conversation........................Then it happened.............That still soft voice said....Shh...........listen.

I was standing there listening when my jaw hit the floor with a serious bang!!        It was the most appalling thing that I could have ever imagined coming out of her mouth.       She said that her fiance was a girl!!        Hold on a minute!!        I didn't even see that one coming at all!!       I reckon that the guy talking to her was as freaked out as I was, because he simply mumbled one word.         Really?       While she was saying how serious that she was he turned, and walked away.

I was so freaked out that when she said what was it that I was saying..........I can't tell you what I said, but an invitation to my church would not be on the agenda!!      It took me a while to make any sense from all this madness!!          I was over-whelmed with a feeling that I am not sure what it was!!

How could a homosexual woman whom Almighty God calls the act an abomination to Him, talk so loving and tenderly about Jesus Christ?      How could she have had me jealous of her sense of appeal, and approach to mankind?          How can she say,.....With all confidence that Jesus has a special mission in life for her to complete?         More than all these questions comes the question of “Why?”

I was simply blowed away. Then this scripture came to mind. 2 Corinthians 11:14.. And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.

I know that this was a lesson,...... that I need to learn something from........,.. and I am not sure what it is of yet.      I know that it has a powerful hidden message inside of this lesson.         I will spend the next few days, or however long that it takes to get this down in my Spirit.

…..............Much love

Gimme a bite of that sandwich!!

I really have not done much of anything this fine Christmas day. I have walked outside a couple of times, and the weather is beautiful. I wore a tee shirt with no sleeves, a jeans. You got to love the weather in Florida!!           Christmas time is the only time of the year that I like it to be cold.      Maybe growing up in North Alabama has a little something to do with that little fact.

I need to go take my physical at the stab lab tomorrow. I have not been since this chest cold thingy set in. I still have a little residue trying to linger on. Although, I have a working solution.     For the last two days I have been trying to over-dose on oranges. There are two factors at work here. The juice of an orange is full of vitamin c, and vitamin c heals what ails the body.     It is a good time of the year, because oranges are in season.        The rest of the country may be paying a precious price for them, but here in Florida they are plentiful, and abundant!!

I am thinking about running down to Mickey D's.        Not to indulge in a McRib. hey,.........Speaking of the famous McRib sandwich.     I sure loved them when they first came out back thirty years ago, but something happens when a person gets older. I don't think that the taste has changed all that much. Not that I would know, because it has been at least 30. what I am getting at is last week on the front of Yahoo they had the ingredient list for the McRib.     One of the main deals in the sandwich is called tripe.      Tripe is nothing more than the lining from the stomach of a cow!!     Wait!!          Hold on a minute here!!       How can you make a pork sandwich with cow gut intestines?      I was sitting in there the other day thinking how good that they used to taste. I just contemplating going up there, and putting in an order.     Then I noticed what it said.

I am sorry, but I have lived in America for way too long. There are parts of animals that simply don't need to be eaten. I can understand if you live in a third world country, and starving to death.     We all do what we need to do to survive, but you are the only one that can control what goes in your mouth!!

This has been a good Christmas day. I have not done anything to brag about other than mind my own business.       That can be a full time job in itself!!      My biggest problem is with the opposite.     It is keeping others around me out of my business.      I think that I have an edge over on them though.       I just act kind, and let them know that I wasn't sure how much that they care about me until now.       Then I will usually ask them if they have some free time that they are willing to share with me assisting me to work out a new schedule.        I have noticed if I do this in a way that they don't find offensive that is pretty much the end of the struggle!!      They will actually think twice before ever getting nosy again!!

Then there is the exception to the rule.      Some folks are nosier than others.      They can not be offended by anything that I might say to them.      They are sure that if I would let them rule over my life.............That in no time at all.............I could have all, and be doing all that I never really wanted to have anything to do with at all!!         These folks have a working solution for everything.....Except one.      Their own lives!!       Are they really all that blind that they can't see their own lives?

I really hate to admit this, but at one time in my life I was this kind of person.     I really thought that I could solve the problems of the world.      I don't think that most people gave me a second thought.      They just knew that I was mentally challenged in the worst way, and if they would simply listen to me, soon I was vanish.     Before long they could see me coming.      I am sure that was a lot of relief for them.

I have spent my fair share of time being a terror. All the hostages that I took back in my younger days had to be as sick as I was, if not sicker. I am just glad that I have another chance today to get it right.

…..........Much Love

Surrounded by a fog of illusion!!

So............This is what Christmas looks like..............The day after!!       I was just sitting here thinking how fortunate my many, many, many readers are that I don't do a video blog.    I can't imagine sitting in front of a camera simply trying to make any sense.     Actually,......I spend a lot of time sitting in front of this computer just trying to think of something intelligent to say.      If you are one of my faithful readers you can imagine that takes pretty much all day most of the time.

I really can't believe that I was deeply surrounded by medication distress yesterday. I have been like that before, and if I allow it to go on unattended I can go nuts!!       If any of y'all read about the hard time I had coming off Paxil a couple years ago,.....Then you know what I am talking about.     There has to be a warning sign that I am not catching.      It is like I just go into a stupor then one day I realize that I’ve not been taking my medication correctly.

Last night I slept throughout the entire night like I would normally do.       No tossing, and flipping all the night long.        No indecision about which pillow goes where.     A normal night for me consist of crawling down beside the bed, and communicating with my Lord.        Then as I ease into the bed, an amazing thing happens,.....It's already morning.     I try to always ease out of the bed the way that I got into it.      On my knees communicating with Father.

Even though I think that this is the way that I should be living it hasn't always been this way. It took me forever to hit the knees in the morning time. Still sometimes I am well into my day, and realize that I didn't take the time to formally come before the Lord not that I am saying that I don't even say good morning, because I try to stay in close conscious contact at all times.              Once again,......It just didn't happen. It took some work, and some serious effort.

There came a day in my life that I really had to learn “who this God was!!”      I could no longer live off who Mother, Sister, Aunt, Uncle, nephew Etc....Said that He was.      I had this desire burning in my bones to get to know Him.      “ Would the real God please stand up?”        Yeah,.....It was that bad, and there were so many different gods out there!!         Some how I knew deep inside that there was only One that could satisfy all my deepest concerns.

I didn’t realize this when I first started out on this mission that there was a factor missing in this whole equation.         I not only didn't know who God was,......I didn't even know who I was in relation to this God!!      Bummer!!        I had just gone from the most intelligent creation to ever walk on the face of the earth to a shell of a human standing all alone surrounded by a dark fog of illusion.        Wow!!        Talk about heavy.        It is awesome to realize where that you have been, and even more awesome to realize that you don't have to stay there!!

You might would ask, “Why now that I have it all figured out don't I move ahead?”          Now,.....That is a wonderful question, and I am so glad that you ask.     The truth is what little that I have come into the Revelation knowledge,.......All that I know wouldn't fall off a pin head.    There is so much to learn, and the possibilities are endless!!

As far as moving right alone,............Honestly,.........I thought that I was.       I feel like I have been put on the most important mission that I ever have been a part of doing.     It is a true privilege to tell folks about the God that I found!!       It isn't a hidden secret of how to get to Him.      You don't have to send 316 dollars to a Television Evangelist while meditating on John 3:16 for a month.      I actually heard this madness going on a few years ago.      God is good!!       Now this woman has been exposed having an affair with another of the great T.V. Preachers!!       Yeah......I ain't scared!!       It was Paula White.     We must expose sin for what it really is!!

I guess that we all get God in our own way.  I am not sure that was a good statement.     I am thinking that i should have said that we all come to God differently, because the truth is that not all of us will come to God.    

I have spent a lifetime in anger refusing the simple method.      I have filled my mind, and body full of alcohol and drugs trying to make the possibility of there ever being a God not real.      I didn't want there to be a God, because of my childhood.

Now,.....That I know the truth,.....I wouldn't have changed a thing.              That ludicrous!!       Total insanity!!         What am I saying?         The fact is that I survived, and know have a better way.      I have a mission, and a purpose in this life.           Isn't that all we really wanted to begin with?

…............Much Love

My Christmas Miracle

I knew that the day would eventually come when I would have to call it quits.     The day arrived today. For some strange reason I just couldn't take it any longer.      I slept in until after nine this morning, and so I missed the Sunday service at my church.       That is two Sunday's in a row     .  There is no way that I will be able to survive with three misses in a row.      You know the rule.        Three strikes, and your out!!

I guess that I knew that the day would come where I would have just to say that enough was finally enough. I reckon that I had pouted about living in this almost unbearable living hell, and it is time to lighten the load from off my shoulders.    It was time to help the Lord by allowing Him to bless me however He choose, and it what way that He chooses!!

I had been sleeping in a little cramped up hole with people all around me. I moved up in front of the room where I have only one person beside of me, and twice as much space between us. I have far more room in my locker space, so I am not all that cramped up in that aspect now.     It was like living out of a box before, and the problem with that is that I never know which box that I am living inside of at the time!!

I really think that I will enjoy my time better up here. The only door to the inside is just mere feet from the head of my bed. I don't really see that being a major problem.     At least nothing that my earplugs, and night visor can't handle!!       Actually,.......This is the first day that I have stayed inside since I moved up here.       Normally I leave before daylight, and don't come in til after dark.

The reason that I think that I moved into a more comfortable resting place is the fact that my major hiding spot will be closed three days for Christmas.     Yes,........The library has shut down for three days in a row!!        I can always go and hang out at Mickey D's, but only for so many hours.      I might run over there in a little while to post, but then again,.......I just might not!!

Another thing that I need to get in motion on is applying for my Disability check. I should have already taken care of this, but I am still in denial about the fact that I might be able to work. I sure would like to have a job, because I know how it can make a mans self worth run at an all time high. I am at the point in my life where I just want enough money to take me on through while volunteering my time to help others. My plan is to be a help to those whom can use my knowledge. Those who are willing to accept help in which to improve their lives.     Hopefully,.....Helping those kind of like myself.....Except not as hard headed!!       Well,..........That is my plan anyway      . All that I am waiting on is confirmation from the boss!!        What ever He wants for me will be fine.

This holiday season has been unusually hard on me. I am still sick as a dog, which is highly unusual for me. I rarely ever get sick, but for some reason I can barely hold my head up today. I almost need to be on my death bed to go to the Dr., and I reckon that it is getting to that point. I am thinking after Christmas I need to go ahead and set me an appointment.

You know that this is now several hours later, and all is well. I needed to pick up my medications, and by the time I got them I was almost immobile. I got sicker, and sicker as the day went on. I failed to realize that I had gone several days without taking proper medication. I would imagine that my blood pressure had been running high, and that was the reason that I was feeling so bad. I had no pain meds of any kind. I guess that my pulse was running well over into the 100's. It is strange how this can creep up on a man that should know all the warning sighs!!

All is well, and God still sets on the throne of my life!! I am happy that I didn't have to go any deeper in misery than I choose to go. I simply don't know how that I missed all the warning signs?

…..........Much Love

And the beat goes on......

I can't believe all the people that thought that the world might would end today. All I got to say about that is the fact if you are one of the ones that have been disappointed, or maybe a little let down,.............Don't give up hope!!        It could still happen, and just for you!!      You still have until midnight, and then if you will play your cards right by hopping over the International date line.......You could still get lucky!!

Seriously,...........If life is treating you that bad you might want to talk with Harold Camping. He could be willing to share with you the secrets that only God has revealed to him about the end!! Living is a riot during times like these. The Mayan prophecy did not even make me think twice.    What they predicted was a long time ago, and honestly,.......I am not sure what they were talking about.     Even though i have read several different theories on the end of the calendar.      I am convinced that their original intention was not declaring that the end of the world would be in 2012.

However,........Harold Camping is a horse of a different color. Mr. C. has spent most of his life involved with Family Radio. I have listened to his radio broadcast think that something was not right about that man. I knew what he was acting like way before I ever knew what being a heretic meant.    The fact that he had convinced basically good hard working folks to donate their lives to him through Family Radio.        Then he refused to return their goods to them after his prediction was proven to be false makes him nothing less than a thief.      A thief standing behind the name of God!!

I don't believe that I am a vigilante for God, because He really doesn't need one. Like I said yesterday these self-proclaiming pastors needs to be exposed before than can do any more harm!!      I can't imagine why Harold would even need any more money, because he is 91 right now.      He spent over 100 million dollars promoting his ridiculously end time prophecy.      Can you imagine how that could have gone toward the true preaching of the Kingdom?

The truth is that he just got caught being stupid!!      There are so many out there claiming to be doing the work of the Lord, and they really put on a great show.       The do a little work in the name of the ministry, but they do it with the left over funds.         What do you mean left over funds?          The funds that they have left after blessing themselves.

It's like God doesn't ask for 10% of our money to go to Himself.            He calls that the Tithe.      A lot of times these Family Ministries will take 100 percent of the money sent into the ministry, and give God the 10% left over.       They don't see anything wrong with operating in that kind of manor, or do they?          They still hide behind the tax write off of the church while claiming no personal profit.      They even write themselves a very small, modest salary.

Why do you reckon that God don't expose more of these fakes?        How can a Holy God tolerate these actions, and for how long?             I think that the Father has a plan for this, the same as He does everything else.           I believe that Matthew 7:21-23 says it all.  Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.(22) Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?(23) And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

That is pretty cut and dry!!       Apparently Jesus has no plans of mincing words with those whom made up their own rules.         I really don't think that they will be able to argue much.........Do you?



….............Much Love

Beware of the Wolves!!!

As I was walking through the plaza, on the way to the library I heard a familiar sound. It was a sound that could only be one thing......A ghost from my Christmas past!!         Yes,....I am being serious when I say this. I remember back when I just had my second stroke, and I decided that I needed to surrender to God's will for my life,............Once and for all!!

Did I mention that this was almost fifteen years ago?       I really can't tell you how many times since then that I have finally,......For the last time,......surrendered to God's will for my life.     The truth is that I get up everyday and re-surrender if I will have any success.          It's those days that I skip out on Jesus that I run a heavy risk!!

It was the guys from down at the farm from Trinity that I was hearing. They had two acoustic guitars, and a set of Bongo drugs with 30 voices of men belting out the same ole tunes that we did. Man,....I thought that we used to sound good!!                Until,............I finally heard a recording of us.     We were slightly off key.                   OK,...OK,.........We were all whacked out!!       I must admit though that we were seriously happy, simply praising God.

As I stood there listening to the same madness coming out from different smiling faces,........I couldn't help but smile with them. I will always have treasured memories of my time spent at that farm located deep in the woods.

Tis the season.............I guess? For some reason I have been running into all different people from my past this week. Some have been from my close past, and some a little deeper than ten years past. I have never ran in anybody from my past in Bama. I probably wouldn't recognize them if I did. If it is any indication of what I have become every time that I look in the mirror I doubt that they would recognize me either!!

I am extremely happy with what I have become. I simply am not happy about what I look like worth a flip!!      The only think that upsets me with my appearance is how fat that I've gotten in the last two years!!        I weigh almost 300.       Honestly,.......I tip the scales at 270.      I hope to never see 300, but it is not that far away.

I think that I need to change gears, and say what is really eating at me today. I have a lot of time to think, and it seems that my mind seldom takes a break from serious thought.     Now,.....I guess that you could say that I have spent my fair share of time around missions.      Actually,........I have spent more time working in them, rather than staying in them.

I have noticed that missions tend to produce a lot of one certain group inside of them. That would be preachers, and I don't have anything against folks preaching God's word. I actually like to hear certain ones, but not all of them.         Please don't shoot the messenger, because I am just giving my own opinion.          You don't have to agree or disagree.

In all my time spent at missions I have grown to spot the wolves from the Shepherds. There tends to be a fair share of both out there, and that is a dang shame!!

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+7:15-20&version=KJV

Jesus told us how we can be sure if we are judging them right. He doesn't want for us to be fooled. He wants us to know who is leading us. Jesus said that we will know them by their fruits. We all have fruit that we produce, and we are all human.       It is not a shame to fail, but is if you keep failing, and choose to wallow in the muck!!

The mission seems to have a lot of preachers coming from it, and honestly,.....I find that the majority of them are corrupt. The flash way too much pride, and arrogance. When you ask them what happened you seldom get more than an ounce of the truth. They tell a lot of lies, and mostly about themselves. The seem to need to prove how trustworthy that they are by cutting someone else throat with character assassination.

I believe if a man is going to be successful in God's eyes as a preacher he has to be called by God!! Any other way through the door would make that man an impostor. One silly little thing that just errks the fire from me is when a preacher is excessively drinking alcohol, and indulging in tobacco use.                You can't preach a God of deliverance to me when you are under bondage!!          Can you feel me?

…....................Much love

Twilight zone prospect?

What is really going on this morning?        Did I finally wake up in the twilight zone for real?      I would be thinking that I had missed the rapture.............Except,.....I know what I know for sure!!      I can't really imagine what is in store for the rest of this day, seeing how it has started out so strange.

I know that a lot of it has to be me, and my failure to prepare. I burst out the door this morning in my normal,....Can't wait to get out of this place attitude!!       I failed to check on the weather conditions, because it has been unseasonable warm most of the month. It has been normally in the 60's around daylight.        Yep,...............That's right,............Surprise!!       It was in the lower 40's this morning!!     I love the colder weather here in Florida.   I just need to dress more appropriately to fit in.     I ran out the door this morning wearing a short sleeve shirt, and ¾ length camouflage pants.       Yeah,.....I will be the first to admit that is a bold move for a man that is sick as a dog, and believing God for healing!!         Can I share something with you?         I am still believing, and it's over taking me now!!

…...Part Two ........I noticed something strange and different right away as I got on the city bus this morning to head to Mickey D's.     I like their coffee.      It is extreme high test!!      Now best keep in mind that I got on the bus around 7:30 A.M.              Normally,..... there would be pretty much standing room only. This was not a normal day by a long shot. There was maybe, and I want to stress the words maybe.....Because I didn't count,......I know that I should have counted.      I probably should have taken a picture!!!       I am gonna give it a reasonable guesstimate of five adult people, and no kids!!      The no kid factor would not come into play until later on.

Well it is later on now......I was walking through the school parking lot when a thought came to me......I wonder how many more days until Christmas break?     I stood in the parking lot staring at the school sign for a clue. It had been only a couple minutes hoping that the next sign that popped up would tell the story.

All of a sudden,..........I had this awful feeling crawling up my spine. I slowly turned around to see what it could consist of being.        Kind of like that feeling that a Mack truck is about to run you over,....... and it was that bad!!       The parking lot,.......The same one that I had been walking through for the past 200 yards.................It was empty!!      Duh!!        There was my sign that I had been looking so intently for all this time!!          Man,...........Talk about being clueless!!

I really didn't start to enjoy my life until I learned to not take myself so seriously. The events that used to make up my life had become an embarrassment for me to admit.       Not any more.     I embrace all the different forms that make up my life, and share them worldwide. I don't have a problem admitting that I am far less than perfect.         Don't need to be,.........Because I know One that is!!

He is the One that has created a people for Himself.        He is the One that created this world as our playground, and our battlefield.        If folks would only get to know Him they will find that He only ask us to do one thing.          That one thing is to …....Only believe in Him!!

I know what a struggle that can be at times. It can seem like a fairy tale. It can make an adult feel foolish at times. Jesus knew that it could, and that it would!!             Like everything else He has a plan for that little problem also.

Matthew 18:2-4 says, (2) And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them,(3)And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.(4) Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Wow, …......Is that cool or what?        This is significant on several different levels.       Why would Jesus want us to have a child like mentality?        Because,.........Are you sure that your ready for this?     Man this is heavy!!

The minute that we become adults is when we become rigid, and calloused. We become something that is almost impossible to work into something different. Even for our own good!!        Children do not have any perceived notions about life, or anything else.     They are mold-able, and very pliable to new concepts, and ideas.         They embrace the most ridiculously sounding concepts, and enjoy running with it.         You can tell by all the laughter!!

No one can say that they enjoy being alive more than a child.      All you have to do to prove this fact is simply listen to them.     Everything is a blast in their little worlds!!

Hey!!         Wait a minute!!         Wouldn't that leave me high, and dry?       Vulnerable for just anything that might come my way?         Nope.....sure does not!!          Do you really think that Jesus want to see us make fools of ourselves?             We do enough of that without His help!! HMMMM............

….............Much Love

I failed a drug test.........Really?

There is enough happening in my current world that I really can't stand to focus on the Mayan calendar.           Nor, even the lack of it!!         It seems that in the place that I stay the staff is on a mind losing mission!!

It all started Sunday night, and it started with random drug test. Now I really have a hard time understanding how a drug test can be random. Especially, when everyone on my floor had the pleasure of taking one!!      I will never have to worry about failing one, because I would just leave before I do.         The result is still the same.          Back during my younger days I would have flirted with fate.     Simply hoping that I could squeeze one past.

Something just didn't seem right about this entire mess!!        Believe you me,.... I choose that word, Mess,            very wisely.        Nothing else seems to fit it more appropriately. The first thing that seemed a little off kilter was the fact the they wanted to do us all at the same time. The second thing is that the staff administering these drug test used no professionalism.      It was almost like a game to see how many that they could find guilty!!

Then the lunatic R.A. That came in later on to finish all those who came in late. He was yelling, and shouting orders like a maniac.           Unfortunately, it didn't end Sunday night.            They had one guy pack his stuff up, and leave Monday afternoon.      Almost18 hours after his test was taken!!

Well,...........I had assumed that the worst had passed, and everything would be cool until the next misadventure. Then it happened as I was walking out the door this morning.......There was a question with the drug test that I had taken Sunday night.......Er,.......Oh,..........Ok?

Wow!!             Now I have passed a drug test every week since May 2011.         You can say that I have had experience in taking these test, and I am aware of how they should go.     Even more than that,...........I have prior experience in administering these test.

This was so wrong on many different levels. The test are meant to show if you have certain chemicals in your urine, and within five minutes or less. They are not meant to be held on to in hope that they might turn positive, because there is a good chance that it will!!

OK,.......Getting back to my story.....I was ask if I was talked to about my drug test that I had taken Sunday night.            I replied no.             Then I ask the fatal question, “Is there something wrong with it?”                The man in charge flipped my test taped to a piece of paper that I had signed.     The only reason that I would have signed that paper was if it had of been clean.

Then the most stupid statement came out of the man's mouth.            You can see a faint line!!                Bingo!!                   That qualifies for a clean drug test!!               No line is the incriminating factor of guilt.       He ask if I would have a problem submitting to another test?       Of course I simply smiled, and said that I will submit to as many, and as often as you would like for me to take.            Now, ….This guy was apparently having a brief blonde moment, because he is usually on point, and I have a lot of respect for him.

I know that this guy figured that he had got me on this new test. The reason being that this sickness is in the process of coming out from my body. I am sweating profusely. Even much more when put on the spot. My urine is almost rust colored from all the poison that is leaving my body. Every bit of evidence says that I am guilty of a dirty test except,...............Except the proof was in the rusty puddin'!!

I need to tell you one last thing as I was leaving. The man that was giving my test said that I had passed it I didn't realize that he only done a nicotine test, and not a drug test. I passed him in the hall on the way down, and he told me that I had passed the first part, now all I had to do was pass a more detailed test.            Now,......I learned a long time ago a true statement....Just because I might be paranoid, doesn't mean that they might not be out to get me!!

Why can folks just admit their failures? I would have had far more respect for those that do.

…...............Much Love