Surrounded by a fog of illusion!!

So............This is what Christmas looks like..............The day after!!       I was just sitting here thinking how fortunate my many, many, many readers are that I don't do a video blog.    I can't imagine sitting in front of a camera simply trying to make any sense.     Actually,......I spend a lot of time sitting in front of this computer just trying to think of something intelligent to say.      If you are one of my faithful readers you can imagine that takes pretty much all day most of the time.

I really can't believe that I was deeply surrounded by medication distress yesterday. I have been like that before, and if I allow it to go on unattended I can go nuts!!       If any of y'all read about the hard time I had coming off Paxil a couple years ago,.....Then you know what I am talking about.     There has to be a warning sign that I am not catching.      It is like I just go into a stupor then one day I realize that I’ve not been taking my medication correctly.

Last night I slept throughout the entire night like I would normally do.       No tossing, and flipping all the night long.        No indecision about which pillow goes where.     A normal night for me consist of crawling down beside the bed, and communicating with my Lord.        Then as I ease into the bed, an amazing thing happens,.....It's already morning.     I try to always ease out of the bed the way that I got into it.      On my knees communicating with Father.

Even though I think that this is the way that I should be living it hasn't always been this way. It took me forever to hit the knees in the morning time. Still sometimes I am well into my day, and realize that I didn't take the time to formally come before the Lord not that I am saying that I don't even say good morning, because I try to stay in close conscious contact at all times.              Once again,......It just didn't happen. It took some work, and some serious effort.

There came a day in my life that I really had to learn “who this God was!!”      I could no longer live off who Mother, Sister, Aunt, Uncle, nephew Etc....Said that He was.      I had this desire burning in my bones to get to know Him.      “ Would the real God please stand up?”        Yeah,.....It was that bad, and there were so many different gods out there!!         Some how I knew deep inside that there was only One that could satisfy all my deepest concerns.

I didn’t realize this when I first started out on this mission that there was a factor missing in this whole equation.         I not only didn't know who God was,......I didn't even know who I was in relation to this God!!      Bummer!!        I had just gone from the most intelligent creation to ever walk on the face of the earth to a shell of a human standing all alone surrounded by a dark fog of illusion.        Wow!!        Talk about heavy.        It is awesome to realize where that you have been, and even more awesome to realize that you don't have to stay there!!

You might would ask, “Why now that I have it all figured out don't I move ahead?”          Now,.....That is a wonderful question, and I am so glad that you ask.     The truth is what little that I have come into the Revelation knowledge,.......All that I know wouldn't fall off a pin head.    There is so much to learn, and the possibilities are endless!!

As far as moving right alone,............Honestly,.........I thought that I was.       I feel like I have been put on the most important mission that I ever have been a part of doing.     It is a true privilege to tell folks about the God that I found!!       It isn't a hidden secret of how to get to Him.      You don't have to send 316 dollars to a Television Evangelist while meditating on John 3:16 for a month.      I actually heard this madness going on a few years ago.      God is good!!       Now this woman has been exposed having an affair with another of the great T.V. Preachers!!       Yeah......I ain't scared!!       It was Paula White.     We must expose sin for what it really is!!

I guess that we all get God in our own way.  I am not sure that was a good statement.     I am thinking that i should have said that we all come to God differently, because the truth is that not all of us will come to God.    

I have spent a lifetime in anger refusing the simple method.      I have filled my mind, and body full of alcohol and drugs trying to make the possibility of there ever being a God not real.      I didn't want there to be a God, because of my childhood.

Now,.....That I know the truth,.....I wouldn't have changed a thing.              That ludicrous!!       Total insanity!!         What am I saying?         The fact is that I survived, and know have a better way.      I have a mission, and a purpose in this life.           Isn't that all we really wanted to begin with?

…............Much Love