Have you ever had this
experience with God? There will be
a time, and you know within your heart, that God is asking you to do something.
You know that His request is not unreasonable, because you know that it will be
the right thing to do. Plus you know that you are guilty, of holding something
back, which you have owed. Yeah,…can’t
that be a mess when your Spirit is vexed.
Here is what happened to me,
as recently as today. Well, today was the conclusion of it, but it started a
while back. My buddy, which loaned me the money, to get into my new residence,
acted like I had paid him in full. It seemed to shock him when I told him that
the last payment was never made. I am not sure what his feelings really were,
but I need to take him at his word. Even in these times, a man’s word should
stand for what he is saying.
What started my delinquency
in payment is the fact, that I left the church, that I was a member. I was
looking for another place to worship my God, closer to where I live. You
know,…the One that actually Saved me, and keeps me, and continues to bless me
daily!! The sad fact is that I have not found be one church in downtown
Jacksonville Florida, where I could worship my God, in the way that I wanted
to, and the way, that I believe that He wants me to worship Him. I know that I
have a different view of God, than a lot of other people do, and that is not a
bad thing.
Phillipians 2:12 Wherefore,
my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much
more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.
This verse lets me know, that
we are all on different level, with our Spiritual walk. I know that this story
is all over the place, but it will come together in the end. With that being
said, let’s go back to the beginning.
I guess today was the
breaking day of the Lord dealing with me. I had told Him that I would call my
friend on Saturday, and give him the money, that I owed him. I was looking
forward to doing this for the most of this past week. Then the day arrived to
make good on my promise.
I couldn’t do it!! Fear was eating me alive!! I can’t tell you what my fear was really
about. Although, I knew where it was coming from, and I knew how to stop
it. James
4:7 Submit
yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
It took me a while to get all
this down pat. It didn’t come as quick as I had wanted it to manifest. However,
I knew that my victory was simply a phone call away!! I grabbed up my phone,
and called quickly. I know that God was at work, because my friend answered
quickly.
We talked a few minutes, and
I explained, that I still owed him some money. He started saying, that I didn’t
owe him and I quickly interrupted him. I ask him to be quiet, and hear me out.
I said that I was certain that I owed him money, and I told him the amount that
I was going to give him. I also told him that since it had been so long since
the loan was made, that I wanted to pay him interest. I wanted to do it in the
form, of eighty-five cents off every gallon of gas, up to twenty. This comes
from the grocery store card savings, which happens monthly.
I know that God was at work,
because he said that he needed to get gas right now. I said, good. How long
will it take you? He replied thirty minutes, and we hung our phones up. I
hadn’t seen my friend face to face, since I stopped going to our church. If the
truth be told, and I am telling the truth. I really have missed our fellowship
together, and looked forward to seeing him once again.
I really need to go ahead,
and break this down, to the bottom line. I don’t understand why sometimes, that I am
afraid to do what Holy Spirit is trying to urge me toward. I have never
followed His advice, and then wished that I hadn’t. It has always turned out,
in my best interest. However, the fear monster can get the best of me at times,
but this time I stood my ground!!
My buddy asks me, if I was
ever planning on going back, to Evangel Temple. I just grinned at him, and
asked if, that was the best invitation, that he could muster up. Then he asked
me to at least visit, and if I would, he would give me a ride home after the
service. I hee-hawed around for a minute, and told him that I would unless it
rained.
All I was doing was teasing
him. I wanted to go back so bad, but I thought that I would shame myself if I
showed back up. I would have been back if anyone had invited me back. Oh,…by
the way, somebody had invited me back last week. It was a lady that I ran into
at the hospital, while picking up medication, in the pharmacy. I really don’t
know if I, was lining up my ducks in a row, or Holy Spirit was lining them up
for me? With all the great
consciousness, in my ability to organize my life,…..Yep,……That’s right,……Holy
Spirit gets all the glory for that move!!
Ain’t God good?
….Much Love
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