You ever have one
of those days that you need to change your location to be happy? I
think that I need to be near the river. That's where I wrote my first
post this morning. I am more inspired with everything that I do when
I am around water. This will come as no surprise when I tell you that
I was born under a water sign. I am a Pisces. This is a very special
week for me also. This week marks a very special event in my life.
Can I please have
a drum roll? While we are at it, do you think it would be asking a
bit much for a twenty-one gun salute? They do that at what?
Funerals!! Then I guess the fly over just ain't gonna happen!!
This is a special day. This day marks an anniversary of living a
little over thirty years longer than those that knew me said that I
would. Yep,..........That's right,...........It is a birthday
celebration week for me!! Ya-Hoo, I made it to be fifty years old
this week!!
Normally, I really
don't make a big deal out of my birthday. This one is special,
because of the amount of years. I was never expected to live this
long, and I never even thought that it could be possible for me to
live this long. I have spent most of my life trying to kill myself in
various different forms. Mostly by the ingestion of chemicals to
change the way that I felt, and the way that I viewed the world.
The events of my
childhood pretty much wrecked any chance that I would have of
happiness in my future. I never learned many people skills, so I ran
with the other crowd. I really had so many issues of trust that I
preferred to run alone. I never have learned the skill of how to
treat a woman respectfully, so I don't need to go into any depth with
that issue. I have spent twenty plus years of my life in a losing
battle dealing with law enforcement agencies. It was nothing short of
the grace of God that I have never seen the inside of a prison.
Most people that
have known me in my past stayed clear of me. They didn't want nothing
to rub off on them. I will never forget that boy that got me started
smoking pot, said that he could no longer be associated with me after
I got busted for selling drugs. There were even times that mother had
given up. After her death my sisters communication has been
one-sided, until I got tired of being the only one that acted like
they cared.
I know that I was
the bad seed. I don't blame anybody for not wanting to be around me.
I don't hold any grudges against anybody, for anything that has
happened in my past. I think that everything worked out wonderfully.
I don't think a thing could have been changed, and this outcome
remained. I needed to go through all those people to get down to zero
of those that I could trust.
When I had lost
all hope that is when the miracle happened. That is when Jesus came
into my life!! I am involved with a great church where I go to
worship. I have a mighty God that I love and serve. I know the meaning
of true love today. I am capable of giving love, and much more than
that, I can receive love now!!
I still don't have
the life of excitement that would intrigue the common folk, but I am
satisfied with my life. The things that I really don't care for today
in my life, are about to be changed. There is happiness, and freedom
on the horizon for me. I have a world wide ministry to spread the the
good news of Jesus Christ to whomever is willing to read.
That excited me!!
I have thought about making changes to conform to be like other
writers. When I told Father of my plans, He just laughed. Every
time, that I want to hear Father laugh, all I need to do is tell Him
about my plans. It works almost every time!!
Yeah, I was
planning to change, and Father said that it wouldn't work out for us.
He said that I was the only one that could do this like I do. I
needed to stay true to my heart, and not to change for anybody. He
also said that He would personally let me know of any changes that
need to take place. I can tell y'all straight up that you can look
high, and low, but you will never find any comparison to Father
except Jesus!!
I don't believe
that I have been this happy to celebrate any birthday more than this
one. I give all the credit for this one to Jesus. He is the One that
spared my ole' miserable self to come in and add fresh life to a very
bad situation. I am definitely pro Jesus!! I am a friend of His
friends, and I am family with His family. The really good news is
that one day it will get much better than this!!
....................Much Love
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