i don't talk much

for a person that writes a blog almost everyday, i don't really speak a lot of words in my daily life. i guess the main reason that i don't is that i used to talk a lot. i would talk so much that it got me in trouble, or at least a few of the things that I've said have landed me in hot water.
it wasn't easy learning to listen more than i allowed the words simply to flow from my mouth. it did take me quite a while to see any benefit in keeping my trap shut. even the Bible says, that even a fool is counted as wise when they keep their mouth shut, and that stands to reason.
before long i really got smarter. it's amazing the things that you can learn when you listen on purpose. a lot of folks talks just to hear themselves. after all, i was always my biggest fan, but quickly wore thin on those around myself.
there seem to be a hidden power when a person limits their speech. believe it or not, most people will pay more attention to what you have to say. there are those that are the exception to the rule. they are so consumed with everything that's going on in their own life that if your not on the same page as them,............well,......... you just don't seem to count much.          i just thought that i would throw that out there this morning.

i believe that the Zoloft is finally kicking in a little. i think in one more week that it will be in full effect. my heart-rate is slowly coming down, and should be back to normal within seven days. i noticed yesterday that my skin was tingling in the sunshine, and that happens anytime that i take an anti-depressant. it don't last long.........maybe a few days, and then every now and then.
i don't know about you, but when my heart is beating so fast that i can feel my blood gushing through my veins it tends to upset me. i know that this just makes it worse, but how could i not worry?        plus, i figured out that this constant pain in my back causes anxiety to one degree, or the other. it does have an effect on the body.
i was scarred that my heart was going to burst more than just a couple times. when i would check it it seemed the low was 110, and the maximum was 125. this is not healthy, but what could i do but worry?      there are things that come with an over-active heart also, like headaches, sweating profusely, shortness of breath,  blurry vision, and you generally feel less than par at best.         death would have been a relief!!
I'm convinced that anybody that hasn't had these symptoms don't understand. the solution to this madness is not doing more. the solution is trying to stay calm, and give the medication time to do it's job!! it don't help to take a handful of pills either............actually, it doesn't work. you have to get so much built up in your system, before it will take effect.          patience is the key,............not push-ups, or walking a few miles!!        yep,.........i just thought that i would throw that out there to..............


well,...........i recon that it's time to change my diet to the summer time menu. all this winter time " comfort food" has left me feeling a lil' un-comfortable. from now on it will be sandwiches, salad's, fresh fruits, and vegetables. of course i will have to have some seafood, but cooking will be something that i rarely do.

once again,...........i have posted worthless facts,...............that only matter to me!!

          ...........much love