i turned 48 the other day. actually,........it was no big deal. just another day in the life. i don't recall doing anything special, or different than i normally do. then again, why would i? i guess you could say that i've gotten used to growing older, as the years fly past.
to me,..........i see growing older as a real blessing. i like older folks to talk with, because they know the way of the world. just ask any person that has a little age on them what they think is the most important thing in life? i can tell you that they will say either that it's love, or family, they might even say friends. i would think that all these answers are just as right as the next.
it would be rare to hear them say that the most important thing is social standing. or a nice home to live in. even more rare would be to say that the car that you drive is most important. most will center around love, and the people that's closest to them.
i know that I'm really not all that old.........yet, ........but I'm sure getting there. i live inside of a body that has aged beyond the actual years, because of my carefree lifestyle that i've lived for most of my life. the most important thing to me most of my life was where's the party man? i've spent the most of my life chasing some kind of high!!
they say that hindsight is always 20/20, and it seems to be true to me, although, i can never figure out who " they " really are!!. "they" must be very smart though!!
i can see a lot more clearly looking back at what i've done, than i ever could while i was living it.
now,.........here is my deal. this is what drives me today. knowing all the horror, and complete wreckage of my past that i've created,..............how do i make up for it? what can i do,..........now,..........to make up for a self-centered, drug and alcohol frenzied life that i've already lived? will i ever find the true peace that I'm seeking, when i know that i was so wrong, living that kind of life?
you know the funnest thing happened to me while ago .............i was walking down the driveway, and i noticed something unusual about the cedar tree, or bush, I'm not sure what to call it. there seemed to be a beautiful marijuana plant growing off of it. i've never heard of such a thing in my life, so i really had to investigate it close up. i swear the more that i eyed that plant, the more convinced that it was pot. it had seven leaves shaped exactly like a pot plant.
on closer inspection i realized that the leaves were simply too broad to be a pot plant. the stalk also ran to the ground, so it couldn't have been a part of the cedar tree. dang the luck!! i thought for a minute that i had discovered something new.
i even ask bubba, what was that pot plant doing growing from the cedar tree? he turned around and gave it a look. the next words out of his mouth was, " ARE YOU SHITTING ME, OR WHAT?" he thought at first glance i was telling the truth!! it did look like weed.
the craziest thing about me is the fact that you can never tell where that I'm going to go, and when i will go there. it seems that I'm in the middle of one story, and all of a sudden......veer of track. there is a simple solution to this madness. i write,..........whatever, and whenever that i want to write, but i do it at different times. i have stuff saved as a draft that i go back to at times. depending on what kind of a mood that I'm in determines what you read. i will however say that i write most of my post in one setting, and still i might simply jump ship at any moment.
why,..........you ask? because i simply..........................do you realize that the moon is full tonight? they say it's going to be a super moon. it's the closest that it has been to our planet since 1992.
hey,..................i've got an idea.................why don't my readers go outside, and look up in the sky. there is a beautiful array of stars out tonight. plus there is a showing,.............for all that care to look,..................of the biggest moon that there has been since 1992. i personally like what goes on in the heavens at night. it makes me realize that there is something bigger going on in this world than me!!
...........much love
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