it's bad when you have upset the person that you've nearly loved you entire life. yep,.........that's right,........i still love her as much today as i did the first time that my eye's connected with hers. yep,..........that's right,.........it was love at first sight!! i told her that i would love her beyond my grave, and i really meant it. I've only loved two women this deeply, and honestly,.........that's all i think that i can handle for me, .........if i love,......... then i love hard!!
there has been several different women in love with me, and i might be confused, but i simply didn't love them back in the same way. we had great sex, don't take me wrong, but for me to love a woman she has to be very special. just sex want make me fall for her. she has to be the one.........no questions ask!!
i hope that all y'all realize that everything that i write in my blog is a real event from my life. I'm no saint. i have been thought some deep muddy waters in my life. I've done things that I'm not proud of being guilty of doing.
some of the events that you read i represent as being current, while in fact they are from my past. it took me years to come to terms with my wicked past, and I'm no longer ashamed of my past ways.
it took everyone of them to mold me into the man that i am today. i can honestly say that I'm reasonably happy with the man that I've become today. I've learned to love others, and forgive others who have done me wrong. I'm a big ole' dumb ass country boy that will give you the pants that I'm wearing if you need it!!
in my profile i said that i had something to say, but everyone will not understand. i made that as clear as i could, and didn't even realize at the time what could possible the reason behind it, but now i know.
if you happen to personally know me, and have questions to ask about what i write in my blog then e-mail me. if you want to slam my sorry ass for not living up to your standards, or you think that I'm a real asshole, there is a comment section below every blog. even thought i have the power to allow, or deny the comments i will let them all get through. the reason being is that I'm not really impressed by what people think about me,........the good, bad, and ugly. matter of a fact, please allow me to give my e-mail address to those that want to rip me a new asshole!! crmlyjms@yahoo.com maybe that will be better for you if your too timid to post your comments on this blog. a word of warning though: if your really timid,.........i might just help you out and post them for you!! ha!! omg!!! i am an asshole!! you were right!!
moving on................the sad reality is that this is my blog. i pick, and choose what i write, and will continue to do the same for as long as i write it. I'm not going to change because anybody wants me to. I'll only change as my life progresses, and not until it's time. in am exactly the man that God wants me to be today.
yeah,.........and that national issue. I'm nor afraid, or ashamed to say that i believe in God, and love Him dearly. only by His mercy, and grace am i still here today.
I'm trying to bring forth an over all message of love and peace. maybe i should have stuck to writing love poems instead of using an old man's beat down life of mostly failure to achieve this goal. the truth is that it is what it is!! it's my story, and I'm going to tell it the way that i see fit!! i am really a redneck raised in Alabama, but I'm not stupid. I've got some college education, but what does that really matter? I'm not trying to give anybody a school book education. although,........i know how important one of those is in today's life. I'm trying to give you lessons that I've failed in my life, that doesn't come out of a school book. when you get down to the nitty gritty, i failed every major test that has come my way in life 101, but only in my past. I've been doing better these past few years.
i reckon that I've chewed on this bone long enough today. maybe this want be necessary to do it again..............please,...................do me a favor?...................if you have comments, then post them...............if you have questions,.............please e-mail me...................if you can't handle what you read,.........or if your going to try to change me,..................please use the power that the good Lord gave you,.................and simply stop reading my blog!!
i simply want to be heard, and if nobody reads this blog, the strange thing is that i wont stop writing it. i have something to say!!!!...............that means if nobody can find any value in it, then I've not failed, because i find value in every word that i peck out.
....................much love
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