While driving
in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the
carriage obviously had a sense of humor because attached to the back of the
carriage was a hand printed sign...
"Energy
efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in
exhaust."
People want the front of the bus,
the back of the church and the center of attention.
A father
was approached by his small son who told him proudly,
"I
know what the bible means!"
His
father smiled and replied,
"What
do you mean, you 'know' what the bible means?"
The son
replied,
"I
do know!"
"Okay," said his father, "what does the bible
mean?"
"That's
easy, Daddy,"
the young
boy replied excitedly,
"It
stands for 'Basic Information
Before Leaving
Earth.'"
Sunday
after church, a mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about.
The
daughter answered,
"Don't
be scared, you'll get your quilt."
Needless
to say, the mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea
and the mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about.
He said
"Be
not afraid, thy comforter is coming."
The
minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the
congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to
the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular
organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The
substitute wanted to know what to play.
"Here's
a copy of the service," he said
impatiently. "But, you'll have to think of something to play after I
make the announcement about the finances."
During
the service, the minister paused and said,
"Brothers
and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as
we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more,
please stand up."
At that
moment, the substitute organist played,
"The
Star Spangled Banner."
And that
is how the substitute became the regular organist!
..... Much Love
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