Where Is God ?
A couple
had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively
mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.
The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.
The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?".
They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time, dude. God is missing - and they think WE did it!"
mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.
The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.
The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?".
They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time, dude. God is missing - and they think WE did it!"
Deep Thoughts for Children
From an
actual newspaper contest where entrants age 4 to 15 were asked to imitate
"Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey."...
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? -- Age 15
Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. -- Age 13
Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just any old yokel vote. -- Age 10
For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out. -- Age 6
Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then, imagine if you had that many Twinkies. Wow, that's five more than the biggest number you could come up with! -- Age 6
As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up. -- Age 7
Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. -- Age 15
It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident. No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it, the blood would be right there. -- Age 5
If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started. -- Age 15
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? -- Age 15
Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. -- Age 13
Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just any old yokel vote. -- Age 10
For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out. -- Age 6
Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then, imagine if you had that many Twinkies. Wow, that's five more than the biggest number you could come up with! -- Age 6
As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up. -- Age 7
Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. -- Age 15
It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident. No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it, the blood would be right there. -- Age 5
If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started. -- Age 15
Out of the mouths of babes
A first
grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each kid in her class the
first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest.
Better To Be Safe Than. .. Punch A 5th Grader.
Strike While The... Bug Is Close.
It's Always Darkest Before... Daylight Savings Time.
Never Under Estimate The Power Of.. Termites.
You Can Lead A Horse To Water But.. How?
Don't Bite The Hand That... Looks Dirty.
No News Is... Impossible.
A Miss Is As Good As A... Mr.
You Cant Teach An Old Dog New... Math.
If You Lie Down With The Dogs, You'll... Stink In The Morning.
Love All, Trust... Me!
The Pen Is Mightier Than The... Pigs.
An Idle Mind Is... The Best Way To Relax.
Where There's Smoke, There is... Pollution.
Happy The Bride Who... Gets All The Presents!
A Penny Saved Is... Not Much.
Two's Company, Three's... The Musketeers.
Don't Put Off Tomorrow What... You Put On To Go To Bed.
Laugh & The Whole World Laughs With You, Cry & You Have To Blow Your Nose.
None Are So Blind As... Helen Keller.
Children Should Be Seen And Not... Spanked Or Grounded.
If At First You Don't Succeed... Get New Batteries.
You Get Out Of Something What You... See Pictured On The Box.
When The Blind Leadeth The Blind... Get Out Of The Way.
There Is No Fool Like... Aunt Eddie.
Better To Be Safe Than. .. Punch A 5th Grader.
Strike While The... Bug Is Close.
It's Always Darkest Before... Daylight Savings Time.
Never Under Estimate The Power Of.. Termites.
You Can Lead A Horse To Water But.. How?
Don't Bite The Hand That... Looks Dirty.
No News Is... Impossible.
A Miss Is As Good As A... Mr.
You Cant Teach An Old Dog New... Math.
If You Lie Down With The Dogs, You'll... Stink In The Morning.
Love All, Trust... Me!
The Pen Is Mightier Than The... Pigs.
An Idle Mind Is... The Best Way To Relax.
Where There's Smoke, There is... Pollution.
Happy The Bride Who... Gets All The Presents!
A Penny Saved Is... Not Much.
Two's Company, Three's... The Musketeers.
Don't Put Off Tomorrow What... You Put On To Go To Bed.
Laugh & The Whole World Laughs With You, Cry & You Have To Blow Your Nose.
None Are So Blind As... Helen Keller.
Children Should Be Seen And Not... Spanked Or Grounded.
If At First You Don't Succeed... Get New Batteries.
You Get Out Of Something What You... See Pictured On The Box.
When The Blind Leadeth The Blind... Get Out Of The Way.
There Is No Fool Like... Aunt Eddie.
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