I never cease,to
be amazed, at the goodness of God, in my life today. Often I wonder
why, this is not happening, and why that is not happening either. I
knew that the Good Lord's timing is perfect but, I still can't help
to wish, that it would be more, on my time schedule. I currently am
living, in a high stress environment, and I really think that a lot
of the stress, is coming from myself. I won't say that there is not a
fair share already, in place here, and I am just not handling it
properly.
Part of this might
be the fact, that all of a sudden, can't remember details, like I
once could. Most of this is useless information, that I no longer
need to hold on to, like who played, what part, in which movie. Just
general stuff like, where I have no real need, to recall anymore. I
tend to be reprogramming my mind, with useful things like scripture.
I can't even start
to tell you how long I have been in ninth place, on the waiting list,
for my place. I think today, was the second week, in a row. It has
really not been, that long of a wait. Monday will be three months
exactly. More than this time not speeding up, I am starting to have a
problem comprehending, that I have dedicated two years, of my life,
to this program.
Honestly, I came
with the end in mind. It was not, to have a place to live. It was
not, to get a better job or, even a job. It was not, to become
religious. It was not about, a lot of things, that It could have been
about. However, the end in mind, was to grasp hold, of the real
living God!! With this mission in mind, I am here to tell you, that I
have finished this program with honors. I have found much more, than
I have bargained, or could have hoped to find.
It tickles me
sometimes, when folks tell me, that they really don't understand me.
I just laugh, and say that is alright. I really don't understand
myself at times, because I am still a work in progress. I am
learning daily, as I go along. I am looking so forward, to getting my
own place once again.
I was trying to
think of the last time, that I lived in my own place without
roommates. The best that I could come up with was a brief time, maybe
nine months in 2003, before that, we will have to go back into the
middle, of the ninety's. That lasted approximately three years. It
has been a solid decade, since I have had the pleasure, of living by
myself.
That just goes to
show that there is nothing impossible with God!! I give Him all the
praise, honor, and glory, for every good thing, in my life today. I
have found a friend, like no other, that I have ever had before.
I need to break it
off right here, and share a little nugget, that a friend of mine
shared with me, the other day. I hadn't seen him in quite some time,
and were were walking different directions, on the same street. He
recognized me before I did him, and I could tell, by the smile on his
face. We met and gave each other a Christian hug. We stood on the
sidewalk, and talked about the only thing, that really matters to
either of us: God.
Before he walked
away he shared a scripture with me. It can be found in the book of
Proverbs, chapter 3, verse 6. In all thy ways acknowledge him,
and he shall direct thy paths. Hold on just a minute
here!! What do you really think that means? Could it possibly be
speaking, of our attitude? Naw!! The good Lord don't care nuthin'
bout, my worst attitudes. He don't want to hear nothing come, out of
my mouth except praise!!
Honestly, that was how I used to think. I never even considered,
coming before God, with a messed up attitude, or a bunch of mixed
emotions. I always thought that He would not accept nothing less
,than my A game. Then I found another scripture to back this one up.
This one may be a little alarming. This is found in the book of
Ezekiel 11:5, And the Spirit of the Lord fell upon
me, and said unto me, Speak; Thus saith the Lord; Thus
have ye said, O house of Israel: for I know the things that
come into your mind, every one of them.
I believe with all that inside of me, that if we will simply,
approach the Lord, as we really are, that He will do a great work in
us!! Can anybody, really see the benefit, in trying to fake a move
with Father? He knows our every thought!! The first step to solving
any problem, is to admit that there is a problem, to begin with. I
can't say about nobody else, but I am still a mess!! I was a much
worse mess when I came to Jesus. None the less, I am still a great
big ole mess, than needs more work in my life. I require major
surgery from the great physician.
The real deal for myself, is the more that I know Jesus, the more
that I love and trust Him, in my life. I am amazed, at the fact, of
how I ever made a move without Him.
…......Much Love
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