Have
you ever felt like you were living in an insane asylum, or a sanitarium, or at
least a psyche ward of some sorts? My past erratic behavior, because of my
extreme alcohol, and drug usage, has caused me to land in a few. I am well
acquainted, with the actions and behaviors, of the residents of those
facilities. I even had the privilege of a two week stay, in one of the State
mental Hospitals once. That was definitely an eye opening experience!! I have
never enjoyed my stay in any one of them. However I kept winding up in one,
because of bad behavior. I guess that they assumed that I was crazy, because I
acted like I was. A fine line…..Huh?
I
am starting to realize that more than a couple of the residents where I live
now have similar behavior…. Ok…I really can’t sugar coat this. I must call it
what it really appears to be. Some of these folks are just crazy enough to have
a strong case, of nut house mentality!!
I don’t think those that I have run crossed yet are harmful. However, it
can be aggravating at times. Especially, when they have it so well hidden, and
the way that you figure out what the deal is by simply speaking.
I
have got to tell this little story, because I think that it is funny. I do have
a cracked sense of humor, and I never said that I didn’t need to be in those
asylums!! One day I was at the
library. This is nothing new for me. I spend a lot of time at the library. I
went in through the cellar doors, and made my way to the elevator. I noticed
that there was a guy a few feet from the elevator doors, and he had several
large bags with him. These were garbage bags, and they seemed to be full of an
unknown substance. It could have been nothing harmful, because he made it
passed security.
This
guy was walking in circles, and had a radical conversation going on, with
someone that I could not see. I stood there is amazement while I waited, for
the elevator to arrive. When the
elevator got to the cellar, I ask this man if he was going up. I knew that
there was not another direction, which it could go in, but I wasn’t sure that
he did.
He
answered me in a strange way that really left me stunned. He said, “oh no!! Not
with you sir!! Go ahead and do what you are going to do!!” I was left standing
there wondering, if I had done something, that offend him. On the ride up I
came to the conclusion, that he probably was not people friendly, for some
reason or another. It can really be hard to pinpoint these issues, if you don’t
know the person.
The
strange thing is that this guy lives in the same building that I do now, and on
the same floor. I didn’t realize that it was him until I spoke to him one day.
When I did he just gave me this crazy look, and kept on walking. Suddenly, I
had a flashback of the elevator scene, a couple months before. I continued to
speak to him every time that we passed, but his reply was nothing more than a
look.
I
always speak to those that are around me, unless I have been told not to, by
the person. Sometimes, I will stop speaking because, of getting a much better
attitude than I am. I figure if they are that much better than I am, there is
no need to engage in conversation. Anyway, that first month that I was here I
spoke to this man every time that our paths crossed, nothing changed.
The
start of my second month of being here when I spoke to him, something had
changed. He went into this conversation, and smiling at the same time. If he happens
to see me, before I see him he always speaks now. We have yet to have a
conversation together. Although, he has had a couple in my presence, that I was
not a part of, at least not yet.
It
is amazing how comfortable that I am living here. I have lived in much worse
situations, and dealt with worse problems. I am just highly tickled to have a
place to call my home. The last three years of my life have almost guaranteed
that I will not be taking a place to call home for granted. It is really
strange, that the thing that makes me the most happy, is what I have been
running from, for most of my life.
I
have never been as happy, or satisfied with my life as I am right now. I know
what has made the difference. The difference is my relationship with Jesus Christ.
I am really not much good with relationships in general. However, I have
noticed if I take care of my relationship with Jesus, then everything outside
of Jesus just falls into place. It is like a sign of the cross. If I take care
of my vertical relationship, then everything horizontal is alright.
I
can’t even start to explain the difference now. I know how strange this might
sound, but I had rather live anywhere with Jesus, than have a Hollywood
lifestyle, in a mansion without Him!!
……….Much Love
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