Do you not find that God is totally amazing? I don’t even know
how far that He is away from us. He might be right next to us, or galaxies away.
The strange thing is that He sees us, and loves us. Can’t you feel His awesome
presence in your life? When I do wrong, He is right there to correct me. When I
do right, I feel Him patting me on the back.
I know that is really Holy Spirit, but that is still God, under
the teaching, that I have learned. It
blows me away, when I realize that we have a God, which loves us enough to stay
that close to us. Doesn’t it make you feel special, to know this fact? It is
the most awesome thing that has ever happened in my life!!
Often times, when I talk to others, about my relationship with
the Lord, I know that they think that I am crazy. I don’t understand why they
can’t see what I see, and feel the things that I feel. When I think back, a few
years ago, I was in the same boat. Actually, I didn’t want to hear anything
about Jesus. I had already tried that, and it hadn’t worked well for me.
At the age of seven years old I went down to the alter, and ask
Jesus to come into my heart. I still to this day have no idea, why a seven year
old, would even think, that he needed Jesus in his life. Apparently, I did,
because I did it, and was satisfied, for approximately ten years. Then one
Sunday like normal I went to church and all hell broke, loose that morning!!
I can still live the horror of that morning, which sent me
running as far from God as I could go!! There was something that happened,
which caused me not to go to church, for a number of years. It placed a fear
inside of me that made me quit school. I was paralyzed with fear, and could not
ride in any vehicle for a while.
My fear was of God, and I thought that He was out to get me!! I
thought that I had known enough about God, that I was doomed no matter what I
done. I expected lightning to snag me at any time!!
I was warped, and twisted to a degree, which I never thought
about being ever possible. The only one that I ever trusted in my life had
turned on me. As far as I could tell my life ended on that morning.
That statement was truer, than I ever thought about it being. I
spent about thirty years from that point living without God in my life. I
dibbled, and dabbled with get this relationship back, but it wasn’t working out
to well. Do you want to hear my version of why?
I had not become humble enough to receive what the Lord had for
me. How many of y’all know that the Lord’s timing is perfect, and He has a plan
for each of us? Jeremiah29:11 For I
know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace,
and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
What do you think about that? Do you realize that Father
thinks great thoughts about us? The last
part is the best part,……To give us an expected end!! I am grateful that end was expected by
Father, and not me!!
See I have this problem of thinking a lot lower of myself, than
Father does. I really never found a balance in my thinking. Either I think too
highly, or I am a scum crawling worm!! Either school of thought is sin. Father
calls us His children, a Royal Priesthood, and Saints!! Does that sound like He has anything but
love for us?
I need to get real honest with you, because I have been misled
for most of my life. I was always confused about what true, real, love was
about. I was under the illusion, which the strength of love, had to do with the
quality of the sex!! I am being very
serious here, and I know how wrong it must sound to hear me admit to that fact.
You ought to know, that I am not here, to make me look good anyway. I am here
to tell the truth all crossed the board.
Honestly, I am still in the process of learning what true love
is, and what it looks like. The truth is that I would not have changed any part
of my life if I had the option. I am glad that everything happened in my life
that did happen. I know if I could have changed my life, I could have been a
better son, a better brother, and a better friend, and possible a husband, and
a father.
I think back to that Sunday morning, where all hell broke loose
in my life. I think if that one event had of not happened, then my life could
have been different, but it wasn’t. Then again, I could have handled it
differently, but I didn’t. I know that Father had my best interest in His
heart, at the time, and has always had my best interest while dealing with me.
If I care to dwell on what could, or might, have happened in my life. Then I
need to consider if Father had not have thought of an expected end in my life!!
That would have been a tragedy worth complaining about.
I really need to seal this letter with a verse, which truly says
it all!! Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to
them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Ain’t
God Good?
……Much Love
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