Do
you ever get to the point that you know, now I am not saying that you think, or
might be. That you know, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that you are a failure,
no, a complete failure, in your part of your relationship with God? All it took
for me to realize that was to be exposed to an outside element in which
somebody else suffered this exposure to God.
I
learned the right thing to say, if I was ever questioned, about my right to
enter, into the gates of Heaven. Actually, I have learned most of the right
things to say in almost any situation. Do you know what that really means? It
means that I have come proficient, in the service, of the lip!! I am so guilty,
of learning to say the right thing, at the right time. Do you realize how high
that ranks, on the scales of God, concerning righteousness? I honestly do not
think that it is even in contention, with the things, of the Lord!!
I
have failed completely, in my personal service to the Lord. Most of the things
that I do. I only do out of habit. I get so used to doing thing, that it
becomes a habit. The bad part about this is that I am expecting, a fresh
movement, from Holy Spirit in my life. I come before the Father with a stale,
pre-programed, style of worship, and when it is over I am expecting a great at-a-boy
and a pat on my back!! With my lips, I say that I don’t want to be a part, of a
feel good ministry. In my private life, behind closed doors, yet I am seeking
the Lord in my life, most of the time it is more about me, than it is Jesus.
Deep
in my heart, I really want to be known, as God’s boy!! It secretly gives me
great joy, when those around me address me, by the names of deacon, bishop,
prophet, and such. It don’t even bother me, that at times, they are simply
making fun of me. I want to be a well-known, associate of God!! I have been
known of far worse associations in my life.
I
don’t walk around, with a proud look on my face. I don’t quote scripture, with
every breath that I take. I don’t condemn those around me, for doing the
things, which I know that are wrong, for me to be doing, most of the time. I
did take the opportunity to shine my halo, on a sinner yesterday. Do you
realize what it takes to behave in this manner? Nothing but pride gone wild and
pride is one of the things that the Lord hates. He stopped, and we talked a
little bit, and then went on our ways. Later that day I had the opportunity to
cross his path once again. This opportunity was totally different. Holy Spirit
was urging me strongly, to apologize to that man, for my brash comment, that I
made earlier. If I have learned any one thing for sure. It is the fact, that
when Holy Spirit speaks in my life, that it is serious business. I was riding
my bicycle, and I quickly headed over to that man and apologized, for my
comment.
Proverbs
6:16-19 These six things doth the
LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that
shed innocent blood,
18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations,
feet that be swift in running to mischief, 19
A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord
among brethren.
I
am more than willing to share, what got me under, such heavy conviction. It is
a speech, from a book written by a pastor, who apparently died, on the
operating table. He determined that he need to appear before God, and ask for
an extension in timed. I have no idea if this is true, or could be true,
because stranger things have happened.
The
first half is thirty minutes long, and it goes into great detail about demons.
The way that he explained this causes reason, to reevaluate the way, which we
look at demons. At least it made me stop to think. I think that it tenderized
my heart for the second part, which is also thirty minutes long.
This
is the part that He finally made it into Heaven. He was before the throne
talking with Father. As this man was telling about the way that he approached
Father, and the things that he was saying, was making me nervous. That probably
was due to the fact, that I would highly consider the same approach in my mind.
However, it did not sound like a good idea hearing it!! Needless to say, that
way of approaching really didn’t work out well, for me or him.
The
best way, that I can put this is to simply say, that Father lowered the boom,
on this preacher!! No
matter who was in the hot seat, I was sitting right beside them. I like to be
convicted, about the things that I do wrong, or that I am doing wrong. However,
this seemed to be a lot more, than I was used to handling at one time. It
caught me off guard, and I had no buffer to soften the harsh blow.
I
will place the link to the video, which I am talking about, at the bottom of
this post. Once again I would like to stress that I don’t have a clue, about
the realness, of this video. Neither have I read the book titled, “Placebo.” I
know for a fact though that it sure got my attention, and I am in the process,
of taking a hard look, at my side of my relationship with Father.
……Much Love
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